Off topic: claims to choose
Thread poster: Lucia Messuti

Lucia Messuti  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 00:33
Member (2003)
English to Italian
+ ...
Mar 30, 2009

Hello!

I was asked to carry out a survey about two claims.
Considering they refer to a company working in the advanced tertiary industry, what do these two claims evoke to the standard Internet user?


"Real Time, Simple Life"
or
"Really Fast, Simply Reliable"

What do you think about it?


 

Giles Watson  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 00:33
Italian to English
They both look like translations Mar 30, 2009

Hi Lucia,

Your two claims sound rather weak in English, at least to my ear.

This is because they were in all probability conceived in Italian and then translated. It's not that the translation is bad, it's just that English doesn't organise ideas in the (1+1) (1+1) pattern of your two proposals as often as Italian.

A triplet (1+1+1) such as:

Fast. Simple. Reliable.

would be easier to remember and therefore more effective.

If you want to keep the Italian pattern, you need to link the two pairs in some way. Your second option looks promising but "Really" is in effect a wasted opportunity as it says very little and has lost the "real time" connotations of the first version.

You might want substitute "Really" with another adverb of degree that uses alliteration to bond with "Simply":

Seriously Fast. Simply Reliable. (NB better with full stops)

You're still losing the "real time" notion but to be quite honest, I'd rather have reliabilityicon_wink.gif

FWIW

Giles


 

xxxLia Fail  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 00:33
Spanish to English
+ ...
Like Giles ............. Mar 30, 2009

Lucia Messuti wrote:



"Real Time, Simple Life"
or
"Really Fast, Simply Reliable"

What do you think about it?




My imnmediate reation: wooden. They eovoke nothing except "whaaaattt?"


 

Lucia Messuti  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 00:33
Member (2003)
English to Italian
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Thanks Apr 2, 2009

Thanks for your comments!
I'll keep you updated

Lucia


 


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