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Off topic: How to treat your local supermarket
Thread poster: Wilmer Brouwer

Wilmer Brouwer
Local time: 18:38
English to Dutch
+ ...
May 6, 2009

Dear owner of my local supermarket,

You are probably really happy to have me as your custormer. Here are some simple rules to keep me as a customer:

- Please add everything I buy to my bill
- Please send an invoice once a month at the end of the month for everything I buy
- I will pay every invoice after 60 days
- I will start counting those days at the end of the month in which you send the invoice
- I will pay on my payment date, which happens to be the 15th of every month (don't complain, it could be the 30th!)
- I decide what I pay for your products
- If I buy the same product twice I will pay only half for the second product
- If I buy a lot I decide what reduction you will give
- Please also give me an extra reduction because it's a crisis
- I only pay on PayPal

I hope you know how lucky you are that I am still your customer!
Don't expect me to thank you, you probably know how many supermarkets there are and some of them are a lot cheaper than you! I will let you know if I think of any other rules in the future to keep our cooperation as perfect as possible!
Kind regards,

Your customer


Local time: 18:38
English to French
+ ...
Ouch!!! May 6, 2009

You so nailed it, Wilmer!


Tomás Cano Binder, BA, CT  Identity Verified
Local time: 18:38
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
You forgot... May 6, 2009

"If a product does not have the taste I wanted, I will not pay it or will ask you for a 50% discount."


Local time: 18:38
English to Polish
+ ...
Some things will never change May 6, 2009

irrespective of geographical location...



Caryl Swift  Identity Verified
Local time: 18:38
Polish to English
+ ...
Not to mention... May 6, 2009

- Even though I have no expert knowledge of the precise ingredients necessary to create your products, I shall still demand a reduction if any particular ingredient doesn't take my fancy

And (from Iza Szczypka):
- You will very rarely receive list of my preferred / hated ingredients, but I still have the right to request replacement of any ingredient I don't like, the replacement to be performed at your own cost


Flo Demolis  Identity Verified
Local time: 18:38
French to English
+ ...
Brilliant! May 6, 2009

Thanks for the laugh, everyoneicon_biggrin.gif


Textklick  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:38
German to English
+ ...
Fuzzies? May 6, 2009

White bread/brown bread?

Beef fillet/pork fillet?

White wine/red wine?

etc. etc.

Nice one, Wilmer!



Karina Cappelletti  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:38
Member (2006)
English to Spanish
+ ...
Excellent May 7, 2009

And... the customer is always right!?


Wilmer Brouwer
Local time: 18:38
English to Dutch
+ ...
Absolutely! May 7, 2009

Textklick wrote:

White bread/brown bread?

Of course, the oven was already warm, there was already someone working on that anyway, so why treat it as two completely separate products and pay full price?
I even encouraged my local supermarket to buy a really expensive extra large oven for baking more bread at the same time so all their customers can claim this reduction. And yes, we do expect them to completely transfer any profit this might bring to us as customers. For some reason my local supermarket didn't understand that this will be profitable for them too. The main reason is of course that I refuse to buy their bread if they don't have that oven.


Mykhailo Voloshko  Identity Verified
Local time: 19:38
Member (2008)
English to Russian
+ ...
built-in calculator May 7, 2009

That oven has a built-in calculator, which calculates everything in its own, beneficial for the customer, way! (post in Russian:

And if you want that oven to have AutoBake feature, you should plead the manufacturer to add it in the new updated oven 2009, otherwise that feature will be included in the customer's oven only (which is not needed there at all):


[Edited at 2009-05-07 10:55 GMT]


Giovanni Guarnieri MITI, MIL  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 17:38
Member (2004)
English to Italian
wrong! May 7, 2009

Wilmer Brouwer wrote:

and some of them are a lot cheaper than you!

all of them are a lot cheaper than you!


Elena Pavan  Identity Verified
Local time: 18:38
Member (2005)
French to Italian
+ ...
Great! May 7, 2009

Thank you for your post, Wilmer. Really great!


Word_Wise  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:38
English to Romanian
+ ...
Excellent picture May 7, 2009

I did not know whether to laugh or cry



Myriam Dupouy  Identity Verified
Local time: 18:38
English to French
+ ...
Excellent ! May 7, 2009

Thanks !!!icon_biggrin.gif


Lingua 5B  Identity Verified
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Local time: 18:38
German to Serbian
+ ...
This is fantastic May 7, 2009

Thanks so much for this, it's perfect!


Yeah, I will start telling my driver, baker, cook, etc, whenever they have repeated actions/ products( quite often), and ask for discounts.

Ha ha, imagine a brain surgeon! - even his job becomes mechanical after he has performed 100 surgeries... the patients may as well start asking for discounts? If two surgeries are identical ( no additional complications etc) = fuzzies

More fuzzies examples:

breast implants: left breast / right breast = fuzzies
dentist: one toot filling full price, all other- fuzzies
my taxi driver always drives me on the same route ( e.g. from home to work), first drive full price, all other -fuzzies


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