Off topic: Euro-English :)
Thread poster: Evonymus (Ewa Kazmierczak)

Evonymus (Ewa Kazmierczak)  Identity Verified
Poland
Local time: 20:10
English to Polish
+ ...
Nov 13, 2009

Something funny I've just received from a friend of mine:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.


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Kim Metzger  Identity Verified
Mexico
Local time: 13:10
German to English
Oldthinkers unbellyfeel Ingsoc Nov 13, 2009

Nice, Ewa - it's been around for a while. I thought members might also enjoy this one:

Newspeak was the official language of Oceania, and had been devised to meet the ideological needs of Ingsoc, or English Socialism. In the year 1984 there was not as yet anyone who used Newspeak as his sole means of communication, either in speech or writing. The leading articles of the Times were written in it, but this was a tour de force which could only be carried out by a specialist, It was expected that Newspeak would have finally superseded Oldspeak (or standard English, as we should call it) by about the year 2050.

Newspeak was founded on the English language as we now know it, though many Newspeak sentences, even when not containing newly created words, would be barely intelligible to an English-speaker of our own day. Newspeak words were divided into three distinct classes, known as the A vocabulary, the B vocabulary, and the C vocabulary.

Some of the B words had highly subtilized meanings, barely intelligible to anyone who had not mastered the language as a whole. Consider, for example, such a typical sentence from a Times leading article as Oldthinkers unbellyfeel Ingsoc. The shortest rendering that one could make of this in Oldspeak would be: 'Those whose ideas were formed before the Revolution cannot have a full emotional understanding of the principles of English Socialism.' But this is not an adequate translation. To begin with, in order to grasp the full meaning of the Newspeak sentence quoted above, one would have to have a clear idea of what is meant by Ingsoc. And in addition, only a person thoroughly grounded in Ingsoc could appreciate the full force of the word bellyfeel, which implied a blind, enthusiastic acceptance difficult to imagine today; or of the word oldthink, which was inextricably mixed up with the idea of wickedness and decadence. But the special function of certain Newspeak words, of which oldthink was one, was not so much to express meanings as to destroy them

From The Principles of Newspeak, George Orwell


[Edited at 2009-11-13 21:11 GMT]


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Piotr Wargan  Identity Verified
Poland
Local time: 20:10
English to Polish
+ ...
Good fun!!! Nov 13, 2009

Great!
Simply great))))))))))))))


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Vitals  Identity Verified
Lithuania
Local time: 21:10
Member (2008)
English to Lithuanian
+ ...
Enjoyed it Nov 13, 2009

Zenks fo postin dis...

Forwarded this fun to many of my friends!


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Lise Leavitt  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 14:10
Member (2008)
Danish to English
+ ...
LOL Ewa Nov 14, 2009

Nice, I hadn't seen this before

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Lizette Britz  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 20:10
Member (2008)
English to Spanish
Danke Ewa Nov 15, 2009

LoL

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Laurent KRAULAND  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 20:10
French to German
+ ...
ll th w dwn t trnsltrs' hll Nov 15, 2009



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Sindy Cremer

Member (2008)
English to Dutch
+ ...
Brilliant! Nov 16, 2009

Thanks for sharing that! Had a good laugh!

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