Off topic: Zabawne kalambury
Thread poster: geopiet

geopiet  Identity Verified
Polish to English
+ ...
Jun 10, 2010

Puns for those with a higher IQ…

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine .

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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Paul Dixon  Identity Verified
Local time: 01:09
Portuguese to English
+ ...
Thanks so much! Jun 10, 2010

Thanks for making me laugh!

This reminds me of another one...

Q: What did Big Ben say to the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
A: I've got the time if you've got the inclination!

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Gudrun Wolfrath  Identity Verified
Local time: 05:09
English to German
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Thank you for sharing this with us, Jun 11, 2010


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Nesrin  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 04:09
English to Arabic
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Zabawne kalambury Jun 11, 2010

Hi geopiet - just curious about the subject of your posting "Zabawne kalambury" - I googled it and it came up with a bunch of Polish hits.
It's probably got nothing to do with it, but the first word reminded me of "zabane" which in Persian means language, and the second of "kalam" which in Arabic means words/ speaking. Coincidence of course?

Edit: Actually just checked, as my knowledge of Persian is a bit rusty: zaban is language, zabaneh is tongue.

[Edited at 2010-06-11 08:31 GMT]

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geopiet  Identity Verified
Polish to English
+ ...
kalambur = pun Jun 11, 2010

Polish "kalambur" from French "le calembour"

"zabawne" - funny/amusing

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juvera  Identity Verified
Local time: 04:09
English to Hungarian
+ ...
Thanks, Jun 12, 2010

enjoyed it very much!
And a few more:

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

Becoming a yoga instructor offers the possibilities of a unique teaching position.

A circus lion won't eat clowns because they taste funny.

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