Off topic: Get it? Joke: 'Mountain man joins the army'
Thread poster: Kim Metzger

Kim Metzger  Identity Verified
Local time: 02:17
German to English
Feb 18, 2004


Twenty-eight years ago, Herman James, a Tennessee Mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day of boot camp, the Army issued him a toothbrush. That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked several of his teeth.

On his second day, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon, an Army barber sheared his head.

On his third day, he was issued a jock strap. The Army is still looking for him.

Peace on earth!

[Edited at 2004-02-18 21:33]


Klaus Herrmann  Identity Verified
Local time: 09:17
Member (2002)
English to German
+ ...
AWOL Feb 18, 2004

Thank you for providing some background info on this termicon_smile.gif


Kim Metzger  Identity Verified
Local time: 02:17
German to English
Joke Feb 18, 2004

Klaus Herrmann wrote:

Thank you for providing some background info on this termicon_smile.gif

Yes, he's probably still hiding in the hills protecting the old "family jewels".


Textklick  Identity Verified
Local time: 08:17
German to English
+ ...
Support Feb 19, 2004

The British Army does not issue such frivolous garments, but rather lets its men hang loose and free of encumbrance.

This procedure has proved to constitute added value to the Ministry of Defence budget and has certainly not detracted from efficiency in the battlefield.

Indeed, kilt-wearing Scottish regiments who do not worry much about taking prisoners are checked on parade by a sergeant who bears a mirror on a pole, in order to check that no man is in breach of regulations by wearing any prissy garments whatsoever.

Here's a little backgrounder from the full OED:

JOCK-STRAP prec. Jocko – next jockteleg
jock-strap ().
[f. jock3 + strap n.]
1. A supporter or protector for the male genitals, worn esp. by sportsmen; also (occas.), a cachesexe.
1897 U.S. Patent Office Index 27 Bennett, Charles F., Chicago, Ill. Combined jock-strap and suspensory.
1911 T. Eaton & Co. Catal. Spring & Summer 179/2 Athletic Support. Sharp & Smith’s Bike-Jock Strap, being made entirely of elastic.
1929 T. WOLFE Look Homeward, Angel (1930) ii. xiv. 191 The checking of overcoats, evening wraps, jock-straps, and jewellery.
1933 E. E. CUMMINGS eimi 52 Do I seriously..seem to see your human mind squatting in your magic jockstrap, freely watching Hitchy Goomy Gitchie Koo (the sickest medicine-man of them all) turn your ailments into formulas?
1935 New Statesman 14 Sept. 357/1 (Advt.), The Linia Belt, including a Linia Jock Strap.
1936 H. MILLER Black Spring 247 The night is cold but the queen is naked save for a jock-strap.
1947 ‘A. P. GASKELL’ Big Game 15, I had to undo my pants and look to see whether I’d put on my jock-strap.
1954 Dancing Times Mar. 400 Articles for Sale. Jock straps for either sex in pink, white or black.
1960 Guardian 23 Sept. 26/7 A Nubian chauffeur in a leopard~skin jockstrap.
1969 Daily Tel. 7 Mar. 21/1 It is the first play in which I remember to have encountered an actor with a jockstrap which squeaks when pushed.
2. An athletic (as distinguished from an æsthetic or intellectual) man (esp. one at a university); a ‘hearty’. N. Amer. slang.
1956 Amer. Speech XXXI. 192 A healthy, athletic young man addicted to sports may wince under the pointed jockstrap marine.
1963 Ibid. XXXVIII. 169 A college athlete: jock (81), animal (32)... The full synecdoche itself, jockstrap, was also reported once.
'jock-strapped a.;
1960 Spectator 23 Sept. 432 Even prints biographical notes on its jock-strapped heroes.
1967 N. MAILER Cannibals & Christians i. 14 Scranton had none of the heft of a political jockstrapper like Goldwater.

HTH ;-(


jerrie  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 08:17
German to English
+ ...
Edification, elucidation, or.....extrapolation? Feb 19, 2004

I do 'Get it', although it's not really the sort of joke told in the circles I move in (male bonding thing?)
I wholeheartedly commend Klaus's valiant attempt to give it some intellectual credence, and Mr Text Thingies discourse on 'Jockstraps through the Ages' is far more penetrating and enjoyable than a run-of-the-mill dico entry.
However, I am slightly pole-axed by the graphic portrayal of this nifty little device contained within your link, and wonder how it hooks up with the overall context?

[Edited at 2004-10-07 15:27]


Kim Metzger  Identity Verified
Local time: 02:17
German to English
Extrapolation Feb 20, 2004

Right you are, Jerrie. This was a crude joke and attempts by Klaus and Mr. Text Thingy to elevate the conversation were a most welcome distraction. I also want to apologize if I have offended any Tennessee mountain men. I know for a fact that Tennessee mountain men are upstanding citizens whose erections of fine whiskey distilleries are envied by the ladies and gentlemen of Scotland.

In my defense I can only plead temporary insanity from too much poking at the computer day after day. It can drive a man nutso. Finally, when it comes to pointed barbs, I realize I'll never be able to out-Jerrie the Jerrie.

[Edited at 2004-02-20 01:27]


Gareth McMillan  Identity Verified
Local time: 09:17
German to English
+ ...
Perpetuation of the myth Feb 20, 2004

There are "Two Mysteries of the World" which rival the "Seven Wonders of the World"- the Loch Ness Monster and what a Scotsman wears under his kilt.

Now, those few privileged people (mainly Japanese tourists) who have glimpsed the Monster (affectionately known as Nessie) have sworn affidavits to the effect that it definitely does NOT wear a jockstrap- unfortunately none of these witnesses came through on a subsequent lie detector test, so the mystery remains safe and will doubtless continue into the mists of time.

The question of what a Scotsman wears under his kilt is something which has baffled the greatest philosophical and scientific minds for 300 years, and it doesn't matter how many dickos you examine it remains one of the world's best kept secrets.
At the end of the 18th century, some of the Highland Scottish clans rebelled against the government and the wearing of the national dress was banned as a result. What most historians have never quite grasped, however, is that this whole scenario was in fact contrived by the monarchy (even then of dubious sexual leanings) who was determined to reveal once and for all what was worn under the kilt.
As the authorities carried out their house-to-house "kilt removal raids" they found to their disappointment that, in the space of no time flat, the canny Scots (always a great nation of inventors) had devised and mass produced the "Jock Strap" as a temporary substitute for their beloved kilt.

I'm afraid Textclick's dicko research has been in vain- simple answer is- nobody knows other than the people who wear a kilt and they're not saying.

Indeed, the reference to the sergeant with the mirror on the end of his pole is easily explained..... they are simply searching for American fugitive soldiers.

Information Note: beware of men wearing kilts of longer than statutory length. These are probably Scottish expatriates who haven't heard of Jock straps.


Richard Benham  Identity Verified
Local time: 09:17
German to English
+ ...
What's worn under the kilt....? Feb 20, 2004

Gareth McMillan wrote:

There are "Two Mysteries of the World" which rival the "Seven Wonders of the World"- the Loch Ness Monster and what a Scotsman wears under his kilt.

I heard that an middle-aged female American tourist asked a kilted Scotsman, "What's worn under the kilt?" to which he replied,

"Nothing! It's all in pairfect wurrking orrder!"


Textklick  Identity Verified
Local time: 08:17
German to English
+ ...
Suspension Feb 20, 2004

..with presumably no need for any suspension enhancement..


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Get it? Joke: 'Mountain man joins the army'

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