Formal Seasonal Greetings
Thread poster: Aurora Humarán
Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 09:46
English to Spanish
+ ...
Dec 17, 2004

Hi, ProZians!
A friend of mine (a lawyer...) has sent this text to me. Enjoy it!
Au


I have engaged external counsel to prepare an approved seasonal greeting which is set out as an annex to this mail:

ANNEX

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for a happy, socially-responsible, gender neutral, environmentally-friendly celebration of the winter solstice holiday (if you happen to live in the Northern Hemisphere), or of the summer solstice holiday (if you happen to live in the Southern Hemisphere), practised within the religious or secular traditions of your choice, or non-religious practice of your choice. Due respect is hereby given to calendars of other cultures that do not celebrate this same solstice. Similarly,
respect is given to the recipients of this greeting regardless of their creed, race, colour, age, sex, physical ability, religious faith, sexual preference, choice of computer platform, and human or non-human companion of choice. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher, nor his or her retainer(s), to actually implement the wishes referred to. Any wish is void if prohibited by law. Any wish is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. Warranty of the wishes is restricted to the legal minimum regarding wishes. Warranty is restricted solely to the replacement of this wish should it be found in any way wanting. No responsibility can be accepted for other damage caused by a faulty wish. Issuance of a new wish shall remain at the discretion of the wisher unless compelled by law.


[Edited at 2004-12-17 14:24]


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teju  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:46
English to Spanish
+ ...
Priceless Dec 17, 2004

Thanks Au for the laugh. Loved the legalese doublespeak.

Now, for a greeting that is not politically correct:

Merry Christmas to all!


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George Rabel  Identity Verified
Local time: 08:46
English to Spanish
+ ...
Gracias, Au Au Dec 18, 2004

Por mi parte, no me molesta ni me ofende en lo absoluto que cada cual practique su religión y celebre sus fiestas como mejor le parezca, siempre y cuando no traten de imponérmela a mí. Todo lo contrario, mientras más fiestas, mejor. Aquí en los USA tenemos demasiados pocos días feriados al año. Para celebrar el nacimiento de Cristo, no hay que ser cristiano, como que para celebrar el nacimiento de Martin Luther King no hay que ser negro.

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Monika Coulson  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:46
Member (2001)
English to Albanian
+ ...
Thanks Aurora Dec 19, 2004

Thanks for the laugh. I decided to take a break from my legalese traslation, and read this greeting! At least this text made me laugh.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2005 to all!

Monika


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Formal Seasonal Greetings

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