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Off topic: Good old English sarcasm...
Thread poster: patyjs

patyjs  Identity Verified
Mexico
Local time: 11:37
Spanish to English
+ ...
Jul 24, 2007

I've been living in Mexico for many years and while most of the time I feel like I've landed in paradise, there are one or two things I really miss. English humour is a biggy.

While many comedy shows and movies are available on DVD what I miss most is the day to day banter. The witticisms which you just don't find anywhere else. Sarcasm is a big part of English humor, and although it's not everyone's cup of tea, I have to admit I like it....a lot!

Watching something the other day I started to remember some put-downers I used to hear regularly and wondered if anyone would like to contribute by adding their own. Here are some from my days in the north of England...

He's (got) about as much brains as a rockin' horse.
I've seen more hair on a pork pie.
He's a few bricks short of a full load.
He's not playing with a full deck.
If he can do that I'll knit fog.

I know there are hundreds of these...I've forgotten them because I don't get to use them any more...shame.

I need to hear more!


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Amy Williams  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 17:37
Italian to English
+ ...
A couple Jul 24, 2007

Great thread.
A couple more:

useless as a chocolate teapot
thick as two short planks

Best,
Amy

[Edited at 2007-07-24 22:55]


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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 12:37
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...

MODERATOR
A couple Jul 24, 2007

patyjs wrote:
He's a few bricks short of a full load.
He's not playing with a full deck.

Heard in Northern Ireland: He's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

If he can do that I'll knit fog.

From a waitress in Ottawa who had just carded a young hopeful: If he's 22 I"ll eat my shorts



Nancy


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xxxLia Fail  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 18:37
Spanish to English
+ ...
mas perdido que .... Jul 24, 2007

patyjs wrote:

I've been living in Mexico for many years and while most of the time I feel like I've landed in paradise, there are one or two things I really miss. English humour is a biggy.

While many comedy shows and movies are available on DVD what I miss most is the day to day banter. The witticisms which you just don't find anywhere else. Sarcasm is a big part of English humor, and although it's not everyone's cup of tea, I have to admit I like it....a lot!

Watching something the other day I started to remember some put-downers I used to hear regularly and wondered if anyone would like to contribute by adding their own. Here are some from my days in the north of England...

He's (got) about as much brains as a rockin' horse.
I've seen more hair on a pork pie.
He's a few bricks short of a full load.
He's not playing with a full deck.
If he can do that I'll knit fog.

I know there are hundreds of these...I've forgotten them because I don't get to use them any more...shame.

I need to hear more!


...más perdido que un pulpo (pedo) en un garaje (pasillo) (Spain / Portugal?)

...one crayon short of a box...
(Britain?)

... he's longer than a wet week ...
(Ireland, meaning he's tall + skinny)


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MGL  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 18:37
Russian to English
a couple more Jul 24, 2007

from a Canadian friend:
"She's not the brightest crayon in the box."

from I-don't-remember-where:
"dumber than a bag of leaves."

another quip I read in a forum somewhere:
"Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!"


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Steven Capsuto  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 12:37
Spanish to English
+ ...
Yankified version Jul 24, 2007

NancyLynn wrote:

Heard in Northern Ireland: He's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.



A fairly common U.S. variant, not surprisingly, includes a McDonald's reference: "He's a few french fries short of a Happy Meal."


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patyjs  Identity Verified
Mexico
Local time: 11:37
Spanish to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
just remembered another... Jul 24, 2007

about as useless as a one-legged man in an a***-kicking contest. (sorry!)

These are great...keep 'em coming, guys.


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xxxLia Fail  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 18:37
Spanish to English
+ ...
oone liners Jul 24, 2007

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
You! Off my planet!!
I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 12 years.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
I'm just working here till a good fast-food job comes up.


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nruddy  Identity Verified
Mexico
Local time: 11:37
German to English
I know exactly what you mean... Jul 24, 2007

Just now I typed "Irish slang" into Google and found one I didn't know: "I could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate" (a more picturesque version of "I could eat a horse"). One I thought of today before you posted was "He wouldn't give you the steam off his piss" (he's very mean).

But the one I really love is "talking to God on the great white porcelain telephone" (getting sick in the toilet)!


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xxxIreneN
United States
Local time: 11:37
English to Russian
+ ...
The Pickwickians... To Say Nothing of the Dog Jul 24, 2007

Learning English just to be able to read originals by Dickens and Jerome K. Jerome was all worth it. Can't live without picking on a few pages every year. Definitely keeps me in touch with good old English humour.

Sorry, the first time my cat sent this post...


[Edited at 2007-07-25 00:01]


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ViktoriaG  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 12:37
English to French
+ ...
Mouahahahhhahaha! Jul 25, 2007

Megan Lehmann wrote:

"Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!"


Thanks!


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Owen Davies
Japan
Local time: 02:37
Member (2007)
Japanese to English
+ ...
A favourite of the old mans... Jul 25, 2007

"He wouldn't know $h!t from putty, that's why his windows fell out."

Yes, agree with the OP, I do miss the humor.


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James McVay  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 12:37
Russian to English
+ ...
Couple more Jul 25, 2007

One of my favorites: "He's dumber than dog s**t."

And "He's not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer."


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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 12:37
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...

MODERATOR
more Jul 25, 2007

patyjs wrote:

about as useless as a one-legged man in an a***-kicking contest. (sorry!)

These are great...keep 'em coming, guys.


This one reminded me of another: He's busier than a one-armed paper-hanger.

My husband's version, though, is: He's busier than a three-peckered billygoat

and another of his favourites, as we pull out of the driveway after another hair-raising episode of getting our three young children ready and out the door: And we're off, like a herd of turtles...

Nancy

Edit: one last one before I hit the sack:

Heard in Ireland: He lies so much he has to sleep in a bowling alley

[Edited at 2007-07-25 01:13]


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Juliana Brown  Identity Verified
Israel
Local time: 12:37
Member (2007)
Spanish to English
+ ...
Not Jul 25, 2007

the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree...
(I'm off to watch my boxed set of Only Fools and Horses...I'm sure to find you lots in there).


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