Off topic: editing help for a paragraph
Thread poster: mrlinhtinh92
Apr 28, 2011

I'm really appreciate if someone could point out what mistakes I made and which sentences or words are neither natural nor suitable, Here it is

"Despite the women’s interest is increasingly paying more attention in over the world, the earnings gap between men and women, however, still persists today. Based on the Human Development Report for Asia – Pacific set by the Development Program of United Nations, the earnings of full-time working women were much lower then men with the difference ranging from 54 percent to 90 percent. In the USA, most working women still earn about 87 percent of the average income of men. Although no one can deny that this situation need to be changed in the way that for the benefit of women, it will take a long time to achieve a desired results. Anyway, women is adequate to something better than what they have now."


 

NKW (X)
French to English
+ ...
Suggestion Apr 28, 2011

Not sure I have fully understood the text, but the following may help:

"Despite the increasing worldwide interest in women’s earnings, there is still an earnings gap between men and women. Based on the Human Development Report for Asia-Pacific commissioned by the United Nations Development Program, earnings for women in full-time employment were much lower than those of men, with differences ranging from 54 to 90 %. In the USA, the average income for most working women is still around 87% of that of their male counterparts. Although no one can deny that this situation need to be changed in a way that benefits women, it will take a long time to achieve the desired result. Whatever the situation, women deserve something better than what they have now."


 

Sheila Wilson  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 12:31
Member (2007)
English
+ ...
There is a site feature dedicated to this service Apr 28, 2011

mrlinhtinh92 wrote:

I'm really appreciate if someone could point out what mistakes I made and which sentences or words are neither natural nor suitable


This thread should be moved to the new feature where others will comment on a translation. Can't find a link just at the moment.

A general point, however, is that you are clearly a learner of English. If you are studying to be a translator, then you will no doubt specify English as a source language, translating from it into your native language. As such, you do not need to worry about lacking the ability to write perfect English texts. You do need to continue improving your English so you can effectively communicate with clients in the language, but generally speaking, your comprehension skills and range of passive vocabulary will need to be higher than your production skills.


 

Christina Paiva  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 08:31
Portuguese to English
+ ...
Translation Feedback Area Apr 29, 2011

Sheila Wilson wrote:

"This thread should be moved to the new feature where others will comment on a translation. Can't find a link just at the moment."

http://www.proz.com/forum/translation_feedback_area-1049.html


 


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