Several things -
Regarding the translation of the planet "Clarion", I thought it would better to replace it with the story of Noah and then talk about the fact that they had faith in themselves.
First of all, your idea to replace a story mentioned in a text with another story AND to add your own comments to it goes way beyond what a translator is expected/ allowed to do. I would definitely advise against that.
The reason why I thought it would be more appropriate because of the word "Christmas"that was included in the story. That would cause a taboo for religious communities and readers to be convinced of the effectiveness of the hypnotherapsit techniques if that example was given.
I see no problem with the mention of the word Christmas in a text that is translated and originally written by a Christian author. Moreover, millions of Arab Christians celebrate Christmas every year, so it's an Arab tradition too and should not offend or alienate Arab readers.
But even if it was not related to Arab culture - What would you do if you were translating a book by a Japanese author who mentioned examples from the Shinto or Buddhist cultures? Would you exclude these examples because Arab readers cannot relate to it? The book is written by a Japanese, so it's obvious that he is going to pick examples from his own culture - I would find it very odd if he kept referring to examples from the Arab or Islamic culture instead!
When an Arab reader decides to pick up or buy a book written by a foreign author, he should be prepared to be confronted with issues that do not form part of his culture.