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Don't you think it is absurd? (Excessive job requirements)
Thread poster: MariusV

MariusV  Identity Verified
Lithuania
Local time: 13:24
English to Lithuanian
+ ...
Mar 6, 2008

Dear Mr./Ms.Translation Agency,

I would like to offer you a unique opportunity - my translation services from ... language into ... language with a possible huge turnaround potential of ca 500 000 words per year.

If you would like to appply for my services, you have to:

1) read the application procedures for request of my services (attached, 17 pages);
2) sign and return by post a Non-Disclosure and Cooperation Agreement confirming you will not work with other freelancer and you will not disclose any information about me to third parties neither during our cooperation, nor at any time after it (attached 13 pages),
3) please send me CV in two copies of all your company management, project managers and accountants detailing their qualification and general experience,
4) please send me the list of your clients (at least for the last 2 years) including such information as project start/end dates, rates for your clients, project volumes (exactly in words),
5) your company ISO certification is a must - if you do not have it yet, to be able to apply for my services, you will have to obligate to get it in an immediate manner,
6) attach at least 3 letters of reference from your end clients - I will need to contact them directly and investigate if you are a serious agency and a reliable one,
7) you also should provide your bank account statements, company certificate of incorporation, passport scans of your CEO and PMs (driver license scans can also be OK),
8) if you are chosen as a successful Applying Client of Mine, you will have to do a test money transfer (to ensure that your accountant is a professional and to ensure I will have no payment delays). If I receive the payment on time and in a correct currency for a correct amount, I will be happy to work with you.
9) my usual payment policy is 60 days in advance before the start if the translation project (you know, you need to credit me for at least a couple of months and my policy is that I do not guarantee that I will send the translations on deadlines even if the payment is received exactly as I demanded);
10) you will also need to register your company data at my client database (online) - it will take only a couple of hours to do that, please pay specific attention to questions about the nearest snack bars near your office building your PM attend most often during lunch time, and please also specify hobbies of your staff in a detailed manner and also informaiton about the personal life of your CEO - place he/she was born, what brand of car does he/she drive, etc.) - if the database hooks up at the end of filling in, and all data inserted online is lost, do not hesitate to contact me by email and I will send you the same form by email (as a PDF file).
11) if you are a private person, do not apply - if you do, this may affect your future collaboration opportunities with me,

I will be free next week (will have no work), I am looking to hearing from you asap...

HOW DOES IT FEEL? SOUNDS AN ABSURD? Imagine you are a translation agency and get such a unique proposal from a free-lancer. What would your "conclusions" be? Of course, there is a "Delete" button and you can delete as you would not like to work with crazy people, BUT

HOW DOES IT SOUND BELLOW (a recent post on proz and their "requirements")?

1) Trados is a must. To apply, please read and follow the instructions below carefully, otherwise, your application will be disqualified:
2) Send us an email with a subject line saying: Automotive_your language i.e. Automotive_German
3) Attach your CV clearly outlining your qualifications and general experience. Call this file CV_Your Name
4) Attach another sheet listing your current IT and software capabilities, including all the file types you can handle. Call this file Technical Info_Your Name
5) Attach another sheet listing your all the automotive projects you got involved as a translator. You should list the date, client name (automotive company), number of words translated, start date, finish date, type of translation i.e. navigation manual, owner's manual etc... Call this file Automotive Exp_Your Name
6) Attach another sheet with two relevant references confirming your automotive experience . Call this file References_Your Name
7) If you are an agency, do not apply. If you do, this may affect your future job collaboration opportunities with ....
8) As the shortlisting starts this week, we look forward to hearing from you asap.

Don't you think it is enough of all those bizzare job posts with even more bizzare requirements?


[Edited at 2008-03-06 14:27]


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Jan Willem van Dormolen  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 12:24
English to Dutch
+ ...
Oh, yes! Mar 6, 2008

My favourites are agencies that require:
a) references, with full names of clients;
b) a non-disclosure agreement, stating I will not disclose the names of their clients.

Makes me wanna cry...


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patyjs  Identity Verified
Mexico
Local time: 05:24
Spanish to English
+ ...
Cute... Mar 6, 2008

especially the part about payment 60 days in advance before the start of the translation project.

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Po7
Local time: 12:24
English to Spanish
+ ...
Another tightening turn… Mar 6, 2008

I totally agree with you.

IMHO, I consider myself one skilled in the automotive art (mechanical engineer and more than ten years working in this field) but completely reluctant to respond some kind of posts.

What would be the next step in this unbalanced/unbalancing “business”?


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Uldis Liepkalns  Identity Verified
Latvia
Local time: 13:24
Member (2003)
English to Latvian
+ ...
Thank you Marius Mar 6, 2008

You made my day

Uldis


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Marina Soldati  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 07:24
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
No e-mail address Mar 6, 2008

Hi Marius,

The funniest part of that job posting is that, though they demand that you attach this and that... there´s no e-mail address, just "click the submit button" where no files can be attached.

Regards,
Marina


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Ramon Inglada  Identity Verified
Local time: 11:24
Member (2006)
English to Spanish
+ ...
That was brilliant! Mar 6, 2008

Yes, you made my day too, that was great.

The best bit, for me, is the new term you coined: "Applying Client of Mine". Pure genius!

And the job post, well, yes, I saw it too and I just thought it was ridiculous. No worries, I'll send all the required information together with an invoice for the time spent preparing everything. Delete button alright...

Cheers,

Ramon


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Dilek Yigit  Identity Verified
Turkey
Local time: 13:24
Member (2006)
Turkish to English
+ ...
Thanks God, I am not the only one! Mar 6, 2008

Yes, that was great MariusV.
and yes That's absolutely Absurd!
I do also think that it is really selfish not to think about the time needed for the list of 'bizarre' requirements?


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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 06:24
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...

MODERATOR
One more requirement... Mar 6, 2008

...seen elsewhere in these fora this week:

I need to be able to drop in on you with 24 hours' notice, to come check out your computer and work station. For whatever reason! (maybe nothing better to do, kinda hard to get clients these days, it's the economic downturn donchaknow...)

Thanks Marius, excellent.

Nancy


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Silvina Matheu  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 07:24
Member
English to Spanish
Lovely... Mar 6, 2008

especially the test in item 8.
Thank you!

Silvina


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Vladimir Pochinov  Identity Verified
Russian Federation
Local time: 12:24
Member (2002)
English to Russian
It's just a a joke Mar 6, 2008

Come on, don't you see it's just a practical joke, probably, coming from a colleague sick and tired of bizarre application requirements set out by some agencies.

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Harry Bornemann  Identity Verified
Mexico
English to German
+ ...
Wanna bet? Mar 6, 2008

If you would send out your translation offer to 2000 agencies + 2000 endclients, I think you would get at least one positive reply - maybe he is drunk, maybe he is desperate because nobody else is talking to him anymore, maybe he does not even read your text, whatever...

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MariusV  Identity Verified
Lithuania
Local time: 13:24
English to Lithuanian
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
:) Mar 6, 2008

Harry Bornemann wrote:

If you would send out your translation offer to 2000 agencies + 2000 endclients, I think you would get at least one positive reply - maybe he is drunk, maybe he is desperate because nobody else is talking to him anymore, maybe he does not even read your text, whatever...


I think that even that real post will generate some "parties of interest" and a bunch of emails. And yes, I think even if a free-lancer copy-pastes the "1st option" and sends it to 2000 agencies, it can also generate some reaction (as there are people with a good sense of humour and, also, with no sense of humour at all


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Joan Berglund  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 06:24
French to English
you forgot to mention... Mar 7, 2008

That clients should make sure they are online and answering emails 24 hours a day to accomodate providers in Europe, Asia and the US, as well as insomniacs throughout the world

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A. Terpecheva  Identity Verified
Spain
Member (2007)
English to Bulgarian
+ ...
This is wonderful, you made my day too! Mar 7, 2008

JM Berglund wrote:

That clients should make sure they are online and answering emails 24 hours a day to accomodate providers in Europe, Asia and the US, as well as insomniacs throughout the world


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Don't you think it is absurd? (Excessive job requirements)

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