Expressing proportions with the verb \"include\"

English translation: 50 percent of the company's KPIs were sustainability related

12:59 Jun 29, 2019
English to English translations [PRO]
Bus/Financial - Business/Commerce (general) / Business
English term or phrase: Expressing proportions with the verb \"include\"
I am trying to find the correct way to express proportions with the verb "include", and currently have three alternatives:

(1) This year the company included social value in their KPI by 50%.
(2) This year the company included social value in their KPI of 50%.
(3) This year the company included social value for 50% of their KPI.
(KPI = key performance index)

Can anyone tell me whether any of these is correct and clear English, or if there is a better way to express this?

Thanks.
Jinseung Eu
South Korea
Local time: 13:41
English translation:50 percent of the company's KPIs were sustainability related
Explanation:
I assume you're translating from Korean, and I hesitate to suggest an answer when I don't know what the original says. But I've seen enough similar documents to be fairly confident that I know what you're trying to say.

First of all, KPI usually stands for "key performance indicator" rather than "index".

Companies usually have a set of KPIs, including such things as profitability, costs, and customer satisfaction. Increasingly, these also include sustainability criteria, which means not just their carbon footprint but their impact on employees, stakeholders and society at large.

Many companies have started issuing sustainability reports, giving details of their performance using benchmarks such as CO2 emissions, employee satisfaction, and charitable giving.

This is where I'd take issue with your use of the word "social", which has also been used by the two previous answerers. I think your text is saying that in the past, all of the KPIs have been financial. But for the first time, 50 percent are sustainability related.

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Note added at 17 hrs (2019-06-30 06:04:31 GMT)
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Yes, all of your suggestions are incorrect. If you must make the company the subject of the sentence, you'll have to say something convoluted like "The company increased to 50 percent the proportion of its KPIs that are sustainability related". But I think my version is simpler.

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Note added at 17 hrs (2019-06-30 06:05:33 GMT)
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Yes, all of your suggestions are incorrect. If you must make the company the subject of the sentence, you'll have to say something convoluted like "The company increased to 50 percent the proportion of its KPIs that are sustainability related". But I think my version is simpler.
Selected response from:

philgoddard
United States
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4 +450 percent of the company's KPIs were sustainability related
philgoddard
5The social value included in the company KPI was 50%..
Ali Sharifi
4increased their social value KPI by 50%
Oliveira Simões


Discussion entries: 9





  

Answers


1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
expressing proportions with the verb \"include\"
The social value included in the company KPI was 50%..


Explanation:
Or, you could say 50% of KPI of the company included social value.

Ali Sharifi
United States
Local time: 23:41
Native speaker of: Native in Farsi (Persian)Farsi (Persian)
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you, but I need to keep "company" as the subject because it is the topic in the context. I would appreciate your view on the 3 listed sentences. Are they all wrong?


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  philgoddard: I think you have the right idea, but it could be more clearly expressed. And English doesn't tend to use "social" in this way, though I know other European languages do.
50 mins
  -> It is social value, not social.
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40 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
expressing proportions with the verb "include"
increased their social value KPI by 50%


Explanation:
I would use "increased" instead of "included."

About KPI, see http://socialvalueportal.com/kpi-library/



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Note added at 42 mins (2019-06-29 13:42:12 GMT)
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Correction: its (instead of their)

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Note added at 1 hr (2019-06-29 14:42:29 GMT)
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In view of the objections posed by some colleagues, I think the idea of inclusion can be easily expressed in different ways, for example, by adding a connector.

The company increased its social value KPI by 50% besides doing this and that.
The company increased its social value KIP by 50%. Additionally, it did this and that.

As much as "increase" differ from "include", I would not use "include" because it's a weaker verb! Enough said.

Oliveira Simões
United States
Local time: 21:41
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in PortuguesePortuguese
PRO pts in category: 4
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you. But increase has a completely different meaning. It is not an answer to my question.


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Jessica Noyes
4 mins
  -> Thank you, Jessica.

neutral  Charles Davis: But is that what the asker wishes to say? "Increase" is not, in principle, a synonym of "include".
5 mins
  -> Clearly not. Let the Asker decide! Let's face it: "increase" is a stronger verb than "include".

neutral  AllegroTrans: Could well be correct but is that what the asker wishes to say? Great care needed here and your confidence level is way too high
39 mins
  -> I hear you. See my comment above.

disagree  Daryo: definitely NOT - wrong maths: there is no way that "include" (the state of affair at one point in time can be replaced by "increased by" which is about "the evolution/changes between two points in time" - unless you fancy creating some "alt-facts"!
11 hrs
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2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +4
expressing proportions with the verb \"include\"
50 percent of the company's KPIs were sustainability related


Explanation:
I assume you're translating from Korean, and I hesitate to suggest an answer when I don't know what the original says. But I've seen enough similar documents to be fairly confident that I know what you're trying to say.

First of all, KPI usually stands for "key performance indicator" rather than "index".

Companies usually have a set of KPIs, including such things as profitability, costs, and customer satisfaction. Increasingly, these also include sustainability criteria, which means not just their carbon footprint but their impact on employees, stakeholders and society at large.

Many companies have started issuing sustainability reports, giving details of their performance using benchmarks such as CO2 emissions, employee satisfaction, and charitable giving.

This is where I'd take issue with your use of the word "social", which has also been used by the two previous answerers. I think your text is saying that in the past, all of the KPIs have been financial. But for the first time, 50 percent are sustainability related.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 17 hrs (2019-06-30 06:04:31 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Yes, all of your suggestions are incorrect. If you must make the company the subject of the sentence, you'll have to say something convoluted like "The company increased to 50 percent the proportion of its KPIs that are sustainability related". But I think my version is simpler.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 17 hrs (2019-06-30 06:05:33 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Yes, all of your suggestions are incorrect. If you must make the company the subject of the sentence, you'll have to say something convoluted like "The company increased to 50 percent the proportion of its KPIs that are sustainability related". But I think my version is simpler.

philgoddard
United States
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 20
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you, but I need to keep "company" as the subject because it is the topic in the context. I would appreciate your view on the 3 listed sentences. Are they all wrong?


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Tina Vonhof: Very clearly explained. Sustainability is an important issue in annual reports (but not in the form of 'social value').
25 mins

agree  Daryo: from what's available so far, that seems to be the intended meaning.
1 day 3 hrs

agree  Katalin Horváth McClure: Based on the limited info given here and at the other question, this seems to be the meaning. We could also say "ESG performance indicators made up 50% of the company's KPIs". It would be best to ask this in the Korean-EN KudoZ with exact source text.
1 day 14 hrs

neutral  Ali Sharifi: None of suggestions conveys the meaning better than what I suggested.
1 day 22 hrs
  -> Sorry, but I don't think people will understand your version.

neutral  B D Finch: I don't understand how you have understood "social value" to be "sustainability"! Social value may very well be included in a KPI. Note that this may be about anything from individual staff performance assessment to an annual report!
3 days 3 hrs

agree  Alok Tiwari
11 days
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