can the word order be inverted this way?

English translation: you need to take the whole sentence in hand!

14:06 Dec 8, 2016
English to English translations [PRO]
Bus/Financial - Law: Taxation & Customs / word order in specialised text
English term or phrase: can the word order be inverted this way?
This is a peace from an update on new legislation:
- ZZZ will not have to report their accounts closed by 31 December 2014 to the tax authorities, ..., as the statutory three-year period _will expire_ for keeping records of such accounts and transactions on them.

Grammatically, is it legit to put "will expire" where I put it (which I did for better readability), or not?

TIA
danya
Local time: 13:12
English translation:you need to take the whole sentence in hand!
Explanation:
ZZZ will not have to report to the tax authorities any accounts closed on or before 31 December 2014, since the statutory three-year period for keeping the relevant records will have expired by that date.
Note: not happy with "by 31 Dec", and prefer "on or before" and "by then" has a colloquial air, so for once I've gone more formal.
Selected response from:

David Knowles
Local time: 11:12
Grading comment
Thank you David!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4 +4not really
Tony M
4 +3you need to take the whole sentence in hand!
David Knowles


Discussion entries: 19





  

Answers


6 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +4
not really


Explanation:
The trouble is, changing the wprd order in this way leads, at first reading, to a isinterpretation — as if the expiry date only applied to '[what follows]' — but perhaps not something else...

I really can't see anything wrong with writing it in the natural word order:

"as the statutory three-year period for keeping records of such accounts and transactions on them will expire"

I'm actually a lot more concerned about the sequence of tenses here! Surely, if this is referring to some future moment, it ought in any case to be 'will have expired' — unless, of course, you text goes on to specify some future expiry date.

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Note added at 9 minutes (2016-12-08 14:15:21 GMT)
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It's important to realize that what you are seeking to do is not to invert the word order, but to move a subordinate clause away from its subject, which is where the danger lies...

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Note added at 16 minutes (2016-12-08 14:22:32 GMT)
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Yes, but by changing the word order in this way, you make it sound as if we expect "will expire for ... but NOT for..."

Tony M
France
Local time: 12:12
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
Notes to answerer
Asker: Hi Tony and thanks for your answer! The expiry date does apply to the period of keeping the records, i.e. to "what follows" in the sentence. I guess "will have expired" is a better option.

Asker: oh now I see... it was all well-meant, but looks like I overdone it


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Jack Doughty
24 mins
  -> Thanks, Jack!

agree  Graeme Jones: agree with the 'will have expired' enhancement
3 hrs
  -> Thanks, M/J! Yes, it all depends on the persepctive of the document, and the sequence of tenses in the original.

agree  Ashutosh Mitra
1 day 3 hrs
  -> Thanks, Ashutosh!

agree  Yasutomo Kanazawa
1 day 18 hrs
  -> Thanks, Yasutomo-san!
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42 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +3
you need to take the whole sentence in hand!


Explanation:
ZZZ will not have to report to the tax authorities any accounts closed on or before 31 December 2014, since the statutory three-year period for keeping the relevant records will have expired by that date.
Note: not happy with "by 31 Dec", and prefer "on or before" and "by then" has a colloquial air, so for once I've gone more formal.

David Knowles
Local time: 11:12
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
Thank you David!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  Tony M: With reservations — wording it this way, using 'that', makes it sound as though the future expiry date is in fact 31/12/2014. 'That' will only work if this whole sentence is immediately preceded by the date the regulations come into force.
2 mins

agree  writeaway
1 hr

agree  Rachel Fell
8 hrs

agree  acetran
1 day 19 hrs
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