Mar 3, 2005 12:39
19 yrs ago
English term
Accurate -- Reliable -- Fast
Native in: Chinese 
Works in: English to Chinese, Chinese to English, German to Chinese, and 3 more.
Sentence
English
Medical
Medical: Pharmaceuticals
The mean leucocyte number was dropped by 1.2¡À0.5¡Á109/L and the platelet number was dropped by 24¡À1.5¡Á109/L in the Kanglaite treatment group; the mean leucocyte number was dropped by 3.5¡À2.0¡Á109/L and the platelet number was dropped by 47¡À31¡Á109/L in the control group. The dropping rates of the treatment group for the two values are significant lower than those of the control group (P¡Ü0.05)
Question: the above sentences sound so wordy. Can some experts here help to put it concise. :)
Thank you very, very much in advance!
Question: the above sentences sound so wordy. Can some experts here help to put it concise. :)
Thank you very, very much in advance!
Responses
+1
10 mins
Elizabeth Rudin
United Kingdom
United Kingdom
Works in field
United Kingdom
Medical and Pharmaceutical translations
Native in: Hungarian , Romanian
Works in: Hungarian to English, Romanian to English, English to Hungarian, and 2 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
8
Selected
see the sentence below
In the Kanglaite treatment group the mean leukocyte count fell by 1.2¡À0.5¡Á109/L and the platelet count by 24¡À1.5¡Á109/L; in the control group the mean leukocyte count fell by 3.5¡À2.0¡Á109/L and the platelet count by 47¡À31¡Á109/L. The fall rates of the two values in the treatment group are significantly lower than those in the control group (P¡Ü0.05).
Hope this helps.
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Note added at 1 hr 19 mins (2005-03-03 13:58:27 GMT)
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In answer to Elena:
\"Fall/fell\" are very often used in this context. Just a few of the countless examples:
\"MMF dose was decreased by half if the total leukocyte count fell to<4.0×10 ... \"
www.transplantjournal.com/pt/re/transplantation/ fulltext.00007890-200108270-00034.htm
\"The leukocyte count fell postoperatively to 12.0 × 10 3 /mm 3... -12th ed. London: Oxford University Press; 1963:40, 59–60 ...\"
www.turner-white.com/memberfile. php?PubCode=hp_dec04_delay.pdf
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Note added at 1 hr 54 mins (2005-03-03 14:33:59 GMT)
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The above was an answer given to the \"neutral\" posted by Elena Sgarbossa to my answer, which she deleted after I replied to her. In her comment she had stated that \"fall/fell\" are not used in the American or British medical language in this context.
I feel I have to add this, to make it clear that my additional note was written in reply to her earlier comment.
Elena, if you make a comment to a proposed answer, you should stick with it, and not create confusion by just removing it when you realize that you were wrong.
Hope this helps.
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Note added at 1 hr 19 mins (2005-03-03 13:58:27 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
In answer to Elena:
\"Fall/fell\" are very often used in this context. Just a few of the countless examples:
\"MMF dose was decreased by half if the total leukocyte count fell to<4.0×10 ... \"
www.transplantjournal.com/pt/re/transplantation/ fulltext.00007890-200108270-00034.htm
\"The leukocyte count fell postoperatively to 12.0 × 10 3 /mm 3... -12th ed. London: Oxford University Press; 1963:40, 59–60 ...\"
www.turner-white.com/memberfile. php?PubCode=hp_dec04_delay.pdf
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Note added at 1 hr 54 mins (2005-03-03 14:33:59 GMT)
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The above was an answer given to the \"neutral\" posted by Elena Sgarbossa to my answer, which she deleted after I replied to her. In her comment she had stated that \"fall/fell\" are not used in the American or British medical language in this context.
I feel I have to add this, to make it clear that my additional note was written in reply to her earlier comment.
Elena, if you make a comment to a proposed answer, you should stick with it, and not create confusion by just removing it when you realize that you were wrong.
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Arcoiris
: clearly better than the original
26 mins
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Thank you, Apricitas!
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| neutral |
Elena Sgarbo (X)
: Sorry that my comment confused you. No, I don't have to "stick" to a comment - rather, when one provides an answer, IMHO the "context box" above should focus on helping the Asker (not on responding to peer comments).// Jianming wouldn't get confused! :-)
2 hrs
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Dear Elena, your comment didn't "confuse me" at all – the fact that you deleted it might have confused Jianming, as my additional clarification seemed to have been entered in reply to a nonexistent comment. Greetings from the UK!
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thank you all for help, particularly to Elizabeth and Elena. I am very sorry that I cannot split the points! "
11 mins
1. break up the first sentence into two halfs 2. second sentence is just fine except "significantly"
They are not that wordy really. For a technical document, anyway!
1 hr
Maria Chmelarova
Native in: Slovak
Works in: English to Slovak, English to Czech, Slovak to English, and 2 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
4
yes >>>
...it sounds too wordy.
1. Skipp "was", "and" in first part of sentence
2.what are they "mean" leukocyte... just leukocyte is O.K.
3.instead dropped, dropping use "decrease" with proper ending
and it will be fine.
1. Skipp "was", "and" in first part of sentence
2.what are they "mean" leukocyte... just leukocyte is O.K.
3.instead dropped, dropping use "decrease" with proper ending
and it will be fine.
1 hr
one option
Hi Jianming,
"Leukocyte count" often is expressed as "WBC count", i.e., white blood cell count; here, the word "number" is not appropriate).
This is my proposal:
[ In the Kanglaite group the mean leukocyte count dropped by ---/L, and the platelet count by ---/L. In the control group the mean leukocyte count dropped by ---/L, and the platelet count dropped by ---/L. Thus, in the treatment group both leukocyte and platelet counts were significantly less reduced than those in the control group (P <0.05). ]
Good luck,
Elena
Subsequently, **WBC counts dropped** to 0.2/nL and 0.1/nL at 6 and 24 h post transfusion.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&d...
Total **white blood cell (WBC) counts dropped** simultaneously by 76%...
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&d...
Effects on complement, granulocytes and platelets of a leukocyte ...... **Significant reduction of leukocyte and platelet counts** and significant activation of leukocytes and of platelets were found in both groups, ...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve& db=PubMed&list_uids=9211593&dopt=Abstract
"Leukocyte count" often is expressed as "WBC count", i.e., white blood cell count; here, the word "number" is not appropriate).
This is my proposal:
[ In the Kanglaite group the mean leukocyte count dropped by ---/L, and the platelet count by ---/L. In the control group the mean leukocyte count dropped by ---/L, and the platelet count dropped by ---/L. Thus, in the treatment group both leukocyte and platelet counts were significantly less reduced than those in the control group (P <0.05). ]
Good luck,
Elena
Subsequently, **WBC counts dropped** to 0.2/nL and 0.1/nL at 6 and 24 h post transfusion.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&d...
Total **white blood cell (WBC) counts dropped** simultaneously by 76%...
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&d...
Effects on complement, granulocytes and platelets of a leukocyte ...... **Significant reduction of leukocyte and platelet counts** and significant activation of leukocytes and of platelets were found in both groups, ...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve& db=PubMed&list_uids=9211593&dopt=Abstract
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