bounded out onto the hillocks

English translation: popped up on the hill tops....phrase continues

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
English term or phrase:bounded out onto the hillocks
English translation:popped up on the hill tops....phrase continues
Entered by: Elizabeth Lyons

12:37 Apr 22, 2005
English to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / children's literature
English term or phrase: bounded out onto the hillocks
Butterflies fluttered around her, rabbits bounded out onto the hillocks to greet her, a fresh breeze ran on ahead of her to smooth down the prickly grass.

Dear native English speakers!
I'm not happy the phrase - would someone please advise how I could tailor it a bit to make it sound better.
The context:
She could see the rabbits appearing on the hillocks around her and greeting her. So it looks like they had jumped out of some bushes or something and hopped up the hillocks to greet her from there - maybe to get a better view of her, I don't know.
Thank you.
Andrew Vdovin
Local time: 20:17
popped up on the hill tops....phrase continues
Explanation:
Butterflies fluttered about her, rabbits popped up on the hill tops in greeting, while a fresh breeze danced ahead to smooth her way through spikes of bright green grass.

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Note added at 2 hrs 18 mins (2005-04-22 14:55:41 GMT)
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For children, the words should evoke all the senses so short, vivid ideas that will make noise and create colorful images in the child\'s mind while he/she is reading are a good bet.

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Note added at 3 hrs 6 mins (2005-04-22 15:43:46 GMT)
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Based on Dusty\'s comment below, \"hillocks\" are simply small hills, rarely used in EN-US and I would guess, rarely in current British literature, especially for children. Vivid language is the key, along with poetry and verbal \"music\". Simple, short, singing-and-telling words are best for children\'s books.

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Note added at 3 hrs 38 mins (2005-04-22 16:15:48 GMT)
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Without belaboring this too much...think children and the world of imagination, not the world of experience and reasoning of adults!
Selected response from:

Elizabeth Lyons
United States
Local time: 06:17
Grading comment
Thank you very much, Elizabeth! Lots of thanks to everybody!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
5 +3sounds fine to me !!
airmailrpl
4 +1popped up on the hill tops....phrase continues
Elizabeth Lyons
5rabbits appeared from the surrounding hills to welcome her
Michael Lyman
3 +1hopped, leapt
lucasm (X)
4See comment below...
Tony M


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


8 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +1
hopped, leapt


Explanation:
Hmm, I can't think of one definitive word either, but here are a few choices.

Depends on the connotation you want. How about "rabbits leapt onto the hillocks"?

Or else skipped through, sprung up? You can get rid of "out" in any case: "rabbits bounded onto the hillocks.."

lucasm (X)
Local time: 15:17
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Ken Cox: Conventional usage would be 'hopped up onto the hillocks'. 'Bounded' is considerably more energetic and sudden than 'hopped', and 'leaped' means they jumped through the air.
58 mins
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46 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5 peer agreement (net): +3
sounds fine to me !!


Explanation:
Butterflies fluttered around her, rabbits bounded out onto the hillocks to greet her, a fresh breeze ran on ahead of her to smooth down the prickly grass.


airmailrpl
Brazil
Local time: 10:17
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish, Native in PortuguesePortuguese
PRO pts in category: 64

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Can Altinbay
1 hr
  -> thank you

agree  Robert Donahue (X)
3 hrs
  -> thank you

agree  Alfa Trans (X)
5 hrs
  -> thank you
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2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
rabbits appeared from the surrounding hills to welcome her


Explanation:
rabbits appeared from the surrounding hills to welcome her.

I would write it this way for clarity. I know it is a poetic text of sorts, but if you really would like the idea to surface, and you need not the colorful language; my suggestion will do.

Michael Lyman
United States
Local time: 09:17
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
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3 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
See comment below...


Explanation:
It's not bad as it is, and I don't really want to make any specific alternative suggestion, but thought a few vocab comments, which might be of interest.

bounded --- as CB says, this is rather more energetic than is usually attributed to bunnies, who normally hop around, or lollop, or maybe here scamper or scurry (if you want to suggest they hurried)

hillocks --- a nice, slightly unusual word to find, but I'm not sure if the scale (smaller than a hill, but bigger than a mound...) is quite right for the image of this scene that's in my head.

fresh breeze --- 'fresh' is often used to describe a breeze that's actually quite strong, as in "a fresh sea breeze" --- it implies something about its strength as well as the fact that it is cool. Maybe cool breeze, or something along the lines of zephyr, is more in line with what you're hoping to convey? though z. is of course a bit poncy for a kidss book!

ran on --- although by no means 'wrong', the first time I read it I stumbled over this; so often, we use 'run on' to mean 'continue running after the engine is turned off', etc., that it felt a little odd to me here. You could just use 'run' on its own, but at the same time, it is quite a weak little word, maybe you could find soemthing more expressive to convey the same idea.

prickly grass --- not sure that one would apply prickly to grass; after all, it implies that it has prickles, like a cactus or a hedgehog. Spiky, maybe; but I get the idea, the wind is smoothing out her passage to make it nicer for her feet... And I guess it is Ok to say that "the grass prickled her feet"; still sounds vaguely odd, though....

HTH!

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Note added at 3 hrs 7 mins (2005-04-22 15:45:02 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Sorry, I\'ve attributed Kenneth Cox\'s remark to CB by mistake --- apologies to both!

Tony M
France
Local time: 15:17
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 256
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2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
popped up on the hill tops....phrase continues


Explanation:
Butterflies fluttered about her, rabbits popped up on the hill tops in greeting, while a fresh breeze danced ahead to smooth her way through spikes of bright green grass.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2 hrs 18 mins (2005-04-22 14:55:41 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

For children, the words should evoke all the senses so short, vivid ideas that will make noise and create colorful images in the child\'s mind while he/she is reading are a good bet.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 3 hrs 6 mins (2005-04-22 15:43:46 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Based on Dusty\'s comment below, \"hillocks\" are simply small hills, rarely used in EN-US and I would guess, rarely in current British literature, especially for children. Vivid language is the key, along with poetry and verbal \"music\". Simple, short, singing-and-telling words are best for children\'s books.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 3 hrs 38 mins (2005-04-22 16:15:48 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Without belaboring this too much...think children and the world of imagination, not the world of experience and reasoning of adults!

Elizabeth Lyons
United States
Local time: 06:17
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 24
Grading comment
Thank you very much, Elizabeth! Lots of thanks to everybody!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  Tony M: Yes, but... hill tops are not really the same thing as hillocks, are they?
41 mins
  -> Unless this is an older, British text, yes. Children in the 21st century rarely see or hear the term hillocks!

agree  lucasm (X): Definitely agree about not using hillocks, at least in AE. What about 'hills'? I thought of popped up too, but it made me think of moles or something.
1 hr
  -> Thank you Lucas, I think "hills"is a good choice if you are 18+. But if you are a child, the sharp sound of "hill TOP" , evokes an immediate image. I think rabbits pop and children don't think of moles!:)
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