that had only for a moment blown in the stifling hall

English translation: that had stirred, but for a moment, the stifling hall

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
English term or phrase:tPuzzled, he looked for her throughout the palace, but all in vain: she had vanished like a light breeze that had only for a mom
English translation:that had stirred, but for a moment, the stifling hall
Entered by: Elizabeth Lyons

10:46 Apr 23, 2005
English to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / children's literature
English term or phrase: that had only for a moment blown in the stifling hall
Puzzled, he looked for her throughout the palace, but all in vain: she had vanished like a light breeze that had only for a moment blown in the stifling hall.

Dear native English speakers!
Please help me with the phrase. I feel it sounds awkward and I'm having a hard time making it sound better.
Any suggestions will be appreciated!
Thank you.

P.S. This is my translation from Russian.
Andrew Vdovin
Local time: 03:34
that had stirred, but for a moment, the stifling hall
Explanation:
Winds blow, breezes waft or stir, just a suggestion.

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Note added at 4 hrs 37 mins (2005-04-23 15:23:48 GMT)
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in fact, I might leave out \"had\" altogether and just say, \"that stirred, but for a moment, the stifling hall\" :)
Selected response from:

Elizabeth Lyons
United States
Local time: 13:34
Grading comment
Thanks for your help Elizabeth!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4 +4below
Robert Donahue (X)
4 +2that had stirred, but for a moment, the stifling hall
Elizabeth Lyons
4that had freshened, if only for a moment, the stifling hall
Refugio


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


7 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +4
below


Explanation:
Puzzled, he looked for her throughout the palace, but all was in vain: she had vanished like a light breeze that had blown for but a instant in the stifling hall.


Robert Donahue (X)
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 44

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Vicky Papaprodromou
26 mins
  -> Thanks Vicky

agree  Ali Beikian
30 mins
  -> Thanks Ali

agree  Can Altinbay: Agree with the proviso that I prefer not to insert "was" before "in vain".
4 hrs
  -> Thanks Can. I keep re-reading it now...good point.

agree  Amal Al-Arfaj
4 hrs
  -> Amal.

agree  jennifer newsome (X)
14 hrs
  -> Thank you trickilyclever

disagree  Refugio: Winds blow, but blow is too strong a verb for a breeze, especially a light one.
18 hrs
  -> Thank you for your comments Ruth.
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4 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
that had stirred, but for a moment, the stifling hall


Explanation:
Winds blow, breezes waft or stir, just a suggestion.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 4 hrs 37 mins (2005-04-23 15:23:48 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

in fact, I might leave out \"had\" altogether and just say, \"that stirred, but for a moment, the stifling hall\" :)

Elizabeth Lyons
United States
Local time: 13:34
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 24
Grading comment
Thanks for your help Elizabeth!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Java Cafe
1 hr
  -> Thanks :)!

agree  jennifer newsome (X)
10 hrs
  -> Thanks! :)
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

18 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
that had freshened, if only for a moment, the stifling hall


Explanation:
Elizabeth is right; blow is too strong a word to use with breeze.

Refugio
Local time: 13:34
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 120

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  Robert Donahue (X): http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q="breeze blows" Understood, I just happen to think that was have a difference of opinion on this.
9 hrs
  -> Context, Rob, context. This is not a breeze blowing through a shop.
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