branch covered with leaves

English translation: From a (nearby) bush, she broke off a branch covered with leaves that glowed a brilliant yellow, and

06:48 Apr 24, 2005
English to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / children's literature
English term or phrase: branch covered with leaves
She broke a branch off a bush, covered with leaves glowing bright yellow, and stuck it into the sandy wall.

Dear native English speakers!
Please help me to restructure the sentence so it is clear that its the branch that is covered with the bright yellow leaves, and not the bush (though the bush, of course, is covered with them too, but it is important for me to emphasize the branch, since its bright leaves are to serve as a mark - to mark the place).
It is also important to emphasize that the leaves are not just bright yellow but VERY bright, glowing yellow.
Now if I put the 'leaves' part before the 'bush' one, it sounds clumsy: She broke a branch covered with leaves glowing bright yellow off a bush. I don't know what to do here. Please advise!
Thank you
Andrew Vdovin
Local time: 14:29
English translation:From a (nearby) bush, she broke off a branch covered with leaves that glowed a brilliant yellow, and
Explanation:
+

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Note added at 19 mins (2005-04-24 07:08:43 GMT)
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[PDF] ASPEN TREES
File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat - View as HTML
... curve of the brilliant yellow side. of the leaf. Other aspen leaves were meas-
... tion from side A of the leaves, displays the. same brilliant yellow ...
www.osa-opn.org/ view_file.cfm?doc=%24(%2C%3F%2CI%40%20%20%0A&id=%24(%5C%3B*K%20%20%20%0A - Similar pages

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Note added at 21 mins (2005-04-24 07:09:52 GMT)
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Sermon - Ecological Philosophy: A Realignment with our Sensuous ...
... I could actually see individual leaves fluttering in the breeze on trees. ...
the mouth of the trumpet: three dusty stamens glowed a brilliant yellow. ...
www.uucava.org/sermons/ecolsens.htm - 33k - Cached - Similar pages
Selected response from:

Refugio
Local time: 00:29
Grading comment
I do like your version Ruth. Thank you for your help! Thanks everybody!!!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4 +4she broke a branch covered with bright yellow leaves off of a bush
French Foodie
4 +2see option below
Lawyer-Linguist
4 +1From a (nearby) bush, she broke off a branch covered with leaves that glowed a brilliant yellow, and
Refugio
4See comment below...
Tony M


  

Answers


9 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +4
she broke a branch covered with bright yellow leaves off of a bush


Explanation:
She broke a branch covered with bright yellow leaves off of a bush and stuck it into the sandy wall.

or
fiery yellow leaves
brilliant yellow

or even
a branch thick with fiery yellow foliage

Flowers: Compare Prices at mySimon
... The hot pink, bright orange and fiery yellow of sunrise meet the mellower hues
of... $74.00 Buy. Calyx & Corolla not yet rated Write a store review ...
www.mysimon.com/4013-4194_8-0-2.html?tag=mrchsrch& companyId=304786&sesnid=70c6126&cqdid=14 - 123k -

CNN In-Depth Specials - Visions of China - Sunday in the Park with ...
... The trees were thick with foliage and provided lots of shade as my taxi drove
around the residential districts north of Suzhou Creek toward Lu Xun Park. ...
www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/1999/ china.50/dispatches/09.29.lu.xun.park/ - 24k

some ideas :-)

French Foodie
Local time: 09:29
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Vicky Papaprodromou
1 min
  -> thanks Vicky

agree  jerrie: or ... snapped a branch (or maybe even twig ...), covered with bright, glowing yellow leaves ... etc
5 mins
  -> yes, I like snapped

agree  Can Altinbay
6 mins
  -> thanks Can

agree  Alfa Trans (X)
6 days
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18 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
see option below


Explanation:
Sentences in children's literature generally need to be shorter, so I'd do the following.

Answer: She broke a branch off a bush. The branch was covered brightly glowing yellow leaves. She stuck it into the sandy wall.

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Note added at 18 mins (2005-04-24 07:07:27 GMT)
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covered with

Lawyer-Linguist
Portugal
Local time: 08:29
Native speaker of: English

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Maria Karra: Very good point about short sentences.
37 mins
  -> thanks Maria

agree  Java Cafe
58 mins
  -> thanks
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

17 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
From a (nearby) bush, she broke off a branch covered with leaves that glowed a brilliant yellow, and


Explanation:
+

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 19 mins (2005-04-24 07:08:43 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

[PDF] ASPEN TREES
File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat - View as HTML
... curve of the brilliant yellow side. of the leaf. Other aspen leaves were meas-
... tion from side A of the leaves, displays the. same brilliant yellow ...
www.osa-opn.org/ view_file.cfm?doc=%24(%2C%3F%2CI%40%20%20%0A&id=%24(%5C%3B*K%20%20%20%0A - Similar pages

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 21 mins (2005-04-24 07:09:52 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Sermon - Ecological Philosophy: A Realignment with our Sensuous ...
... I could actually see individual leaves fluttering in the breeze on trees. ...
the mouth of the trumpet: three dusty stamens glowed a brilliant yellow. ...
www.uucava.org/sermons/ecolsens.htm - 33k - Cached - Similar pages

Refugio
Local time: 00:29
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 120
Grading comment
I do like your version Ruth. Thank you for your help! Thanks everybody!!!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Martin Perazzo
6 hrs
  -> Thanks, Martin
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
See comment below...


Explanation:
Personally, I like Ruth's solution best for re-ordering the sentence to make it less clumsy, although as she says, it really needs something like the added 'nearby' to make the balance work nicely.

As ever with my answers (you must be used to it by now!), I'd like to make a couple of observations in general.

1) I think it is the 'covered with' that contributes to the clumsiness of the whole sentence; for a start, I think I'd be inclined to say 'covered IN...' --- under other circumstances, 'with' might have different connotation: "having broken off the branch, she covered it with fallen leaves to hide it". But in any case, I don't see why you can't just say '...a branch of () yellow leaves...', just as you might well say 'a branch of apple blossom'.

2) That bright yellow is all very well, but doesn't exactly fire the imagination. How about vivid / vibrant / fiery / flaming? Are these REAL leaves, or magical ones?

Tony M
France
Local time: 09:29
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 256
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)



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