@ Сергей 13:04 Nov 26, 2013
Well yes, in principle, but what I meant is that this poem really has to be done more or less literally, or at least the key terms night, day, eye, mind and heart do. It is based on a very specific cluster of metaphors, very simply expressed, and I think those metaphors work the same in just about any language. What I don't think you should do is to look for a word that expresses what you understand "eye" to be metaphorically referring to. You must simply set out the metaphor as it stands and let the reader respond to it.
I've found unpublished translations of this in Spanish and Italian on the Internet (none in French, but there must be one somewhere). Everybody does what I've indicated: use some form of words that means "the night has many eyes; the day has one eye // the mind has many eyes; the heart has one eye". As far as I can see, the terms night, day, eye, mind and heart are universal and work the same in just about any language. The extremely rich and ancient associations of the sun as an eye, seeing with the heart, and all the other things that are implicit here are found in an very wide range of cultural traditions. |