unlike himself having just shown mercy

English translation: would show him none of the mercy that he himself had reserved for / shown the servant

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)

English term or phrase:	would have no mercy for him, unlike himself having just shown mercy on the servant
Selected answer:	would show him none of the mercy that he himself had reserved for / shown the servant
Entered by:	Nick Lingris

09:13 Jun 21, 2005

English language (monolingual) [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / children's literature

English term or phrase: unlike himself having just shown mercy

But the King knew for certain that the Black Demon would have no mercy for him, unlike himself having just shown mercy on the servant.

Dear native English speakers!
Please advise on the phrase. It seems rather awkward to me, and I'm having a hard time trying to improve it.
The context:
The King has forgiven his servant, but he knows that if the servant makes another mistake, the King himself will be responsible for everything, and he won't escape the Black Demon's wrath then.
I hope it sounds clear enough.
Thank you!

Andrew Vdovin KudoZ activity Questions: 3923 (2 open) (2 closed without grading) Answers: 3924
Local time: 03:36

would have shown to him none of the mercy he himself had reserved for the servant

Explanation:
:-}

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Note added at 5 hrs 45 mins (2005-06-21 14:59:36 GMT)
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After applying (some of) Laurel\'s suggestions:
would show him none of the mercy that he himself had reserved for the servant
(And I\'d prefer to avoid repeating \'show\', i.e. that he himself had shown the servant)

Selected response from:

Nick Lingris
United Kingdom
Local time: 21:36

Grading comment

I like your version a lot Nick! Thank you very much for your help! Thanks everybody!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED

4 +5

unlike himself, who had just shown mercy (towards)

Laurel Porter (X)

4 +5

would have shown to him none of the mercy he himself had reserved for the servant

Nick Lingris

4 +1

as opposed to him (the king) who had just acted out of compassion toward the servant

Carmen Schultz

4 +1

unlike himself WHO HAD just shown mercy

Paula Vaz-Carreiro

4 +1

use "although"

Armorel Young

just as he (the king) had shown mercy towards his servant

Anabel Martínez

3 +1

do you want to use mercy twice?

Melanie Nassar

unlike himself ... the demon

Dina Abdo

3 +1

unlike the way (that) he (himself) had just shown mercy

Charlie Bavington

would show no mercy to him, like he himself had just shown to the servant

Balasubramaniam L.

Answers

2 mins confidence:

just as he (the king) had shown mercy towards his servant

Explanation:
it contrasts the mercy the king has shown towards his servant with the Black Demon, who won't be merciful towards the king

Anabel Martínez
Spain
Local time: 22:36
Specializes in field
Native speaker of:

Catalan,

Spanish

4 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +1

as opposed to him (the king) who had just acted out of compassion toward the servant

Explanation:
To paraphrase it another way:

As opposed to himself (i.e., the king), who had just acted out of compassion toward the servant...

Carmen Schultz
Local time: 15:36
Works in field
Native speaker of:

Spanish,

English
PRO pts in category: 4

5 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +1

do you want to use mercy twice?

Explanation:
I personally think you should try to avoid using mercy twice in this sentence. My suggestion:

But the King knew for certain that the Black Demon would show him no mercy, unlike he himself, who had just been merciful / forgiven the servant.

I prefer *forgiven* here, actually, if it would fit your text.

Melanie Nassar
United States
Local time: 23:36
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 28

7 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +1

unlike himself WHO HAD just shown mercy

Explanation:
If you want to keep the sentence as close to what it is at the moment, I think it only needs that little change.
HTH

Paula Vaz-Carreiro
Specializes in field
Native speaker of:

Portuguese,

English
PRO pts in category: 48

14 mins confidence:

unlike himself ... the demon

Explanation:
But the King knew for certain that the Black Demon would have no mercy for him, unlike himself having just shown mercy on the servant.>> Unlike himself with his servant; the king knew for sure that the black demon would have no mercy for him

Dina Abdo
Palestine
Local time: 23:36
Native speaker of:

Arabic

29 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +1

unlike the way (that) he (himself) had just shown mercy

Explanation:
There are those who have issues with using "himself" alone as a subject, so it can be better to avoid it. To minimise changes, and keeping "mercy" twice which is nice, stylistically, I would humbly suggest the above.

Charlie Bavington
Local time: 21:36
Native speaker of:

English
PRO pts in category: 8

48 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +5

unlike himself, who had just shown mercy (towards)

Explanation:
Suggestion: "...the Black Demon would have no mercy, unlike himself, who had just shown mercy towards the servant."

Removing the first "on him", we simplify the sentence and remove possible confusion regarding which "him" is being referred to. I also believe it should be HAVE mercy ON people, but SHOW mercy TOWARDS people.

Also, with regard to objections to "himself" as a subject, it is not functioning as a subject in this sententence. The subject is "who".

Laurel Porter (X)
Specializes in field
Native speaker of:

English
PRO pts in category: 4

50 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +1

use "although"

Explanation:
I think you'll be able to word this better with a different construction altogether:

But the King knew for certain that, although he had just shown mercy on the servant, he could expect no such mercy from the Black Demon.

Armorel Young
Local time: 21:36
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 64

41 mins confidence:

would show no mercy to him, like he himself had just shown to the servant

Explanation:
But the King knew for certain that the Black Demon would show no mercy to him, like he himself had just shown to the servant.

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Note added at 1 hr 37 mins (2005-06-21 10:51:23 GMT)
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Another variation:

But the King knew for certain that the Black Demon would show no mercy to him, as he himself had just shown to the servant.

Balasubramaniam L.
India
Local time: 02:06
Native speaker of:

Hindi
PRO pts in category: 32

51 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +5

would have shown to him none of the mercy he himself had reserved for the servant

Nick Lingris
United Kingdom
Local time: 21:36
Specializes in field
Native speaker of:

Greek
PRO pts in category: 44

Grading comment

I like your version a lot Nick! Thank you very much for your help! Thanks everybody!

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unlike himself having just shown mercy

English translation: would show him none of the mercy that he himself had reserved for / shown the servant

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unlike himself having just shown mercy

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