GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW) | ||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
09:13 Jun 21, 2005 |
English language (monolingual) [PRO] Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / children's literature | |||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| ||||||
| Selected response from: Nick Lingris United Kingdom Local time: 21:36 | ||||||
Grading comment
|
just as he (the king) had shown mercy towards his servant Explanation: it contrasts the mercy the king has shown towards his servant with the Black Demon, who won't be merciful towards the king |
| |
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade) |
as opposed to him (the king) who had just acted out of compassion toward the servant Explanation: To paraphrase it another way: As opposed to himself (i.e., the king), who had just acted out of compassion toward the servant... |
| |
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade) |
do you want to use mercy twice? Explanation: I personally think you should try to avoid using mercy twice in this sentence. My suggestion: But the King knew for certain that the Black Demon would show him no mercy, unlike he himself, who had just been merciful / forgiven the servant. I prefer *forgiven* here, actually, if it would fit your text. |
| |
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade) |
unlike himself WHO HAD just shown mercy Explanation: If you want to keep the sentence as close to what it is at the moment, I think it only needs that little change. HTH |
| |
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade) |
unlike himself ... the demon Explanation: But the King knew for certain that the Black Demon would have no mercy for him, unlike himself having just shown mercy on the servant.>> Unlike himself with his servant; the king knew for sure that the black demon would have no mercy for him |
| |
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade) |
unlike the way (that) he (himself) had just shown mercy Explanation: There are those who have issues with using "himself" alone as a subject, so it can be better to avoid it. To minimise changes, and keeping "mercy" twice which is nice, stylistically, I would humbly suggest the above. |
| |
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade) |
unlike himself, who had just shown mercy (towards) Explanation: Suggestion: "...the Black Demon would have no mercy, unlike himself, who had just shown mercy towards the servant." Removing the first "on him", we simplify the sentence and remove possible confusion regarding which "him" is being referred to. I also believe it should be HAVE mercy ON people, but SHOW mercy TOWARDS people. Also, with regard to objections to "himself" as a subject, it is not functioning as a subject in this sententence. The subject is "who". |
| |