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Explanation: or "zermürbende, mürbemachende".....depends on the context here.
Don`t think it has anything to do with "tender" in a positie sense here.
Don`t know your text, but actually I had the same term referring to Arthritis (joint pain) which are exactly "tender" in a way.
Carmela Prestia United States Local time: 12:50 Native speaker of: German, Danish