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A baby rhyme

Russian translation: Not bad at all

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14:49 Dec 29, 2002
English to Russian translations [PRO]
Art/Literary
English term or phrase: A baby rhyme
He's a web-foot, white and beaky.
See his feathers, soft and sleaky?
He's a goose, but not a clonk;
Hear him cackling: "Honk, honk, honk"!
Обращаюсь к коренным носителям английского. Этот стишок я сочинил сам. Перевода, естественно, не прошу, меня интересует другое: насколько адекватно этот "опус" восприняли бы англоязычные дети? Иными словами, насколько это детский стишок?
P/S/ Я его сочинил для своего сына.
Andrew Vdovin
Local time: 21:40
Russian translation:Not bad at all
Explanation:
An impressive effort, and the overall impression is that it has the flavour of a children's rhyme. There are a couple of things though that do not quite work.

'He's not a clonk' - it doesn't really make any sense. What does it mean?

If you'll allow me to be so presumptious, I'd suggest tweaking it as follows:

He's a web-footed bird, all white and beaky.
His coat of feathers, all soft and sleaky.
He's a goosey-gander, but not a ????;
Hear him cackle: "Honk, honk, honk"!

You'll struggle to find a real word that rhymes with honk!

Selected response from:

Libero_Lang_Lab
United Kingdom
Local time: 15:40
Grading comment
Thanks for your variant for the verse. I believe that "clonk" means "fool" or something of the kind.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4Not bad at all
Libero_Lang_Lab
3Not for grading, but it's great!Elaine Freeland


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
Not bad at all


Explanation:
An impressive effort, and the overall impression is that it has the flavour of a children's rhyme. There are a couple of things though that do not quite work.

'He's not a clonk' - it doesn't really make any sense. What does it mean?

If you'll allow me to be so presumptious, I'd suggest tweaking it as follows:

He's a web-footed bird, all white and beaky.
His coat of feathers, all soft and sleaky.
He's a goosey-gander, but not a ????;
Hear him cackle: "Honk, honk, honk"!

You'll struggle to find a real word that rhymes with honk!



Libero_Lang_Lab
United Kingdom
Local time: 15:40
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in pair: 177
Grading comment
Thanks for your variant for the verse. I believe that "clonk" means "fool" or something of the kind.
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

6 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
Not for grading, but it's great!


Explanation:
Какая прелесть! Можно, я это гусям соседки прочту?

Что я заметила сразу: хорей такой очень характерный. Строгий. В англ., размер достаточно размытый, он скорее поётся, а не скандируется, как в русском. Дифтонги предоставляют огромную возможность для ритмических импровизаций :-)

В этом смысле, если есть возможность ловить BBC Prime, их утренние детские передачи -- просто сокровище.

Elaine Freeland
Local time: 16:40
PRO pts in pair: 40
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