Reçu la griffe

12:13 Mar 23, 2015 

Thank you very much everyone for your precious ideas, I will keep them all with me while translating, great vocabulary there.

Have a great Monday,
Luna

05:27 Mar 22, 2015 

Indeed, @Carol Gullidge, it is like poetry, so yes, elegant prose is what I'm going for. Not conventional French that is for sure...

@writeaway Indeed, I understand and know the decision will eventually be mine, and that this is not much context...
But having read the book and having been constantly looking at that sentence in particular made me unsure about the way to go. I was looking for extra inspiration, different directions than the ones I was going for.
The book about a little girl being brought up in the forest, by a wild cat. She has a different language, a more literal one, more rough.
The purpose of this was to get fresh eyes, fresh suggestions :)

The meaning of 'recevoir la griffe' is quite literally 'being scratched', simply in a more formal/unusual/more poetic way.
Which made me want to go literal and say 'I would have got the claw'... But I still felt like I should ask the community just to check if somebody's genius would enlighten me, which it has :)

23:49 Mar 21, 2015 

That's a French expression I'm not familiar with. Can you please explain what it means (in English ou en français)?

23:06 Mar 21, 2015 

with one tiny sentence as context. You have the book in front of you, so all decisions will be yours. There so many elements, aspects that indicate the right way to go and none of them are visible. Colleagues can make suggestions but they can only be proverbial shots in the dark. We know nothing at all about this book.

23:05 Mar 21, 2015 

When you said it is like prose, I presume you meant that it is like poetry...?

23:02 Mar 21, 2015 

And "reverse syntax" to enable rhyming is not used in modern English poetry. Nowadays it would sound contrived and old hat. But in any case, I'm assuming you're not aiming to rhyme here but simply to write elegant prose...? This usually means keeping it simple and economical, letting the reader fill in the gaps.

22:11 Mar 21, 2015 

@Verginia: Do you think I can use got instead of gotten? Can gotten be okay in British English?

@tanglsus Exactly! Today is a rainy day here in Spain and I am loving this type of work, great for inspiration! Thank you for your contribution + insight!

21:52 Mar 21, 2015 

In your case, the form/style is equally if not more important than the meaning as this kind of writing tends to have lines with vague meaning leaving room for further interpretations. Thus the translation should be focused in part on its form: the number of syllables per line, cadence, reversed syntax structure for the need of producing the rhyme etc, just to name a few.
And to fit these criteria in your translation, one could easily arrange the syntax in the most creative way while rendering the meaning in general way, which oftentimes is called taking a poetic license in the translation. The beauty that you are seeking remains in part in the style or format, be it a poem in free verses or a prose.
Bon courage!

21:51 Mar 21, 2015 

I would have gotten a swipe from her claw(s)

21:05 Mar 21, 2015 

Would 'Otherwise, I would have got the claw' work nicely?