Verse of a poem - creativity required

English translation: Here's one quickee attempt

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)

German term or phrase:	Verse of a poem - creativity required
English translation:	Here's one quickee attempt
Entered by:	Gillian Searl

12:25 Dec 4, 2003

German to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary

German term or phrase: Verse of a poem - creativity required

Obschon gepackt, die guten Sachen,
"Die Zeit ist knapp", wird hier gepredigt.
Wer's von Firma X kriegt, der hat gut Lachen,
"Was nicht mehr geht, wird noch erledigt"

Anyone feeling creative this afternoon? It's the verse to a poem from a Christmas card. Each line has 8 syllables and lines 1 & 3, 2& 4 rhyme! We've managed 5 verses but my juice is out!! And it doesn't make a great deal of sense even in German. All suggestions gratefully received.
Thanks ;)

Gillian Searl KudoZ activity Questions: 615 (none open) (9 closed without grading) Answers: 99 United Kingdom
Local time: 21:42

Here's one quickee attempt

Explanation:
Although they're packed, those gifts with style,
"Time is short" must be borne in mind.
Those who shop with (firma X) can smile,
The perfect gift is here to find.

But how many syllable's in the company's name? It doesn't seem possible to get 8 syllables in the third line (in the original). If there is only one syllable, you'll have to read "smile" with my southern-American accent (smi-yul). ;-)

Selected response from:

Lori Dendy-Molz
Germany
Local time: 22:42

Grading comment

Thanks to you all - you're all amazing! I had to choose one so sorry to everyone else!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

Summary of answers provided

3 +3

My attempt (beware: artistic licence!)

IanW (X)

4 +2

more poetic licence ...

Nicole Tata

4 +1

Mmmm

jerrie

Here's one quickee attempt

Lori Dendy-Molz

3 +1

noch'n Eimer-Reimer

Renate FitzRoy

here's my attempt

Armorel Young

mein Versuch

Norbert Hermann

1 +2

See lines below:

Mary Wilburn

Discussion entries: 5

Answers

11 mins confidence:

mein Versuch

Explanation:
All the goodies are wrapped,
and everyone is saying "it’s getting tight”.
When X delivers everyone is relaxed,
Even the impossible gets delivered right.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 20 mins (2003-12-04 12:45:42 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

even the impossible gets there right.

Room for improvement :-)

Norbert Hermann
Local time: 21:42
Native speaker of:

English,

German
PRO pts in pair: 1977

23 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +3

My attempt (beware: artistic licence!)

Explanation:
"The presents packed with pretty bows
While time is quickly running out
But XXX will brave the snows
So your Christmas smile remains throughout"

I'm presuming that this company delivers - at least that's how I understand it ...

IanW (X)
Local time: 22:42
Native speaker of:

English
PRO pts in pair: 2468

25 mins confidence:

Here's one quickee attempt

Lori Dendy-Molz
Germany
Local time: 22:42
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in pair: 1453

Grading comment

Thanks to you all - you're all amazing! I had to choose one so sorry to everyone else!

52 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +1

noch'n Eimer-Reimer

Explanation:
It took you long enough to wrap them,
Now, presents, quick, be on your way!
XXX is here, up will they snap them,
Work miracles without delay

Renate FitzRoy
Local time: 21:42
Native speaker of: German
PRO pts in pair: 283

1 hr confidence:

peer agreement (net): +1

Mmmm

Explanation:
The gifts are wrapped but time is short
And they still need to be sent out
With XXX your worries are nought
They will get there without a doubt
(Prompt arrival without a doubt)

Presents wrapped, everything ready
How to deliver the parcel?
XXX keeps the nerves steady
By achieving the impossible

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2003-12-04 14:50:10 (GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Christmas presents wrapped and tied
But still cutting things a bit fine?
Smile, because time is on your side
XXX will meet the deadline

jerrie
United Kingdom
Local time: 21:42
Native speaker of:

English
PRO pts in pair: 1469

2 hrs confidence:

peer agreement (net): +2

more poetic licence ...

Explanation:
here's another version:

Your pile of presents, wrapped and ready,
Can no longer wait, must ship today,
Relax, call xxx, take it steady,
They’ll get there faster than Santa’s sleigh!

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2003-12-04 14:38:11 (GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Your presents wrapped with labels tied,
Too late to send them out, you wail
What luck! With xxx by your side (on side)
They’ll get there quickly, without fail!

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2003-12-04 14:51:47 (GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

O joy of Christmas hurtling near
And gift-wrapped parcels still not sent
Don’t worry, xxx are here
To help you out 100%!

Time for a sherry and a mince pie ..

Nicole Tata
United Kingdom
Local time: 21:42
Native speaker of:

English,

German
PRO pts in pair: 1326

3 hrs confidence:

peer agreement (net): +2

See lines below:

Explanation:
The word here is "Time's running out,"
Alhough good things are wrapped & ready.
Still those who shopped with X can shout
"What can't be done is done already!"

Mary Wilburn
United States
Local time: 16:42
Native speaker of:

English
PRO pts in pair: 76

6 hrs confidence:

here's my attempt

Explanation:
Presents packed, but there's still panic,
"They'll never get there", people say,
But come to us, our team titanic
Soon has them winging on their way.

Armorel Young
Local time: 21:42
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in pair: 4700

Login or register (free and only takes a few minutes) to participate in this question.

You will also have access to many other tools and opportunities designed for those who have language-related jobs (or are passionate about them). Participation is free and the site has a strict confidentiality policy.

Return to KudoZ list

KudoZ™ translation help

The KudoZ network provides a framework for translators and others to assist each other with translations or explanations of terms and short phrases.

See also:

ProZ.com term search

Search millions of term translations