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to follow

English translation: Your success, our partnership, and an objective stance.

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GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
German term or phrase:Ihr Erfolg, Partnerschaftliche Zusammenarbeit, Objektivität
English translation:Your success, our partnership, and an objective stance.
Entered by: Maya Jurt
Options:
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14:04 Nov 1, 2001
German to English translations [PRO]
Marketing
German term or phrase: to follow
Once again, I am asking native speakers to please verify the translation I am working on(Marketing not really being me field of choice, and usually I translate INTO German)I am grateful for constructive criticism and suggestions re: style!
Unsere Mission ist Ausdruck konsequenter Klientenorientierung und wird durch drei Gebiote charakterisiert:
Ihr Erfolg, Partnerschaftliche Zusammenarbeit, Objektivität

My translation:
Our mission
Our mission illustrates our total commitment to our client's needs and is exemplified by three core principles:

Your success,cooperation as partners, objectivity
Many thanks in advance!
Johanna Timm, PhD
Canada
Local time: 08:33
Our mission...
Explanation:
Your translation sis - of course - more than just alright. But it slightly smells of translation, mainly because it is not yery marketing-like but rather stilted German.

Here is an idea. It may help you find your own version:

Our mission illustrates total commitment to our clients' needs and is expressed by three core precepts (or principles): Your success, our partnership, and an objective stance.
Selected response from:

Maya Jurt
Switzerland
Local time: 17:33
Grading comment
Thanks to everyone for taking the time to review this. Maya is the lucky winner_ liked her wording of the three principles, but appreciate all contributions very much!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
5To translate a text of this typeRandi Stenstrop
5Read below
Dr. Fred Thomson
5As below
Daniela Mühling
4Personally, I think you've done a good job with it yourselfPaLa
4Our mission...
Maya Jurt
4Your success, our mutual co-operation, our objectivitypatpending


  

Answers


19 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
Your success, our mutual co-operation, our objectivity


Explanation:
If the "to follow" on which you invite comments is this, I would translate - as above - the "mission" (should you choose to accept it).

note that there is a hyphen in co-operation.

This idea emphasises the you, us, we.

patpending
Local time: 16:33
PRO pts in pair: 51

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  Daniela Mühling: Cooperation may be spelled with or without a hyphen (http://www.m-w.com)
39 mins
  -> if it is something to do with Tommy Cooper I agree no hyphen is needed!
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26 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
Our mission...


Explanation:
Your translation sis - of course - more than just alright. But it slightly smells of translation, mainly because it is not yery marketing-like but rather stilted German.

Here is an idea. It may help you find your own version:

Our mission illustrates total commitment to our clients' needs and is expressed by three core precepts (or principles): Your success, our partnership, and an objective stance.

Maya Jurt
Switzerland
Local time: 17:33
Native speaker of: Native in GermanGerman, Native in FrenchFrench
PRO pts in pair: 545
Grading comment
Thanks to everyone for taking the time to review this. Maya is the lucky winner_ liked her wording of the three principles, but appreciate all contributions very much!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  Dr. Fred Thomson: Sorry to be pedantic, but "alright" is not all right; you need two words.
8 mins
  -> sorry, still alright in literature. all right more common, yes.

neutral  patpending: I think anything with the words "mission" and "statement" in the same sentence mostly comes out a little stilted!
51 mins
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40 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
As below


Explanation:
Our Mission
Our mission is to be completely committed to our clients' needs and is exemplified by three core principles:

Your success, cooperative partnership, objectivity

________________________

There are many ways to word this. I am not suggesting that my suggestion above is ideal. I would like to explain some of my choices, though. "Our mission illustrates"... this suggests that the mission is simply the document which describes their goals, and not their sincere ambitions. For this reason I would say...
Our mission is to be committed to our clients' needs...
Our mission is to give total commitment to our clients' needs...
Our mission of commitment to our client's needs is exemplified by three core principles...

_________________

Study some sample mission statements if you want to get a feel of the style used for such documents. Here are a few URLs to get you started:

http://www.nonprofits.org/npofaq/03/21.html
http://management.about.com/library/howto/ht_stmt.htm?once=t...
http://www.inc.com/freetools/details/0,7532,CID21391_REG7,00...



    as above
Daniela Mühling
Spain
Local time: 17:33
PRO pts in pair: 107
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45 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
Read below


Explanation:
Our mission is to totally serve the needs of our clients, and it is exemplifed by these three precepts:
We want you to succeed; we want to work together with you as partners; and your goals are our goals.

Dr. Fred Thomson
United States
Local time: 09:33
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in pair: 5861
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
To translate a text of this type


Explanation:
... you need to forget the exact wording of the source text and concentrate on the meaning.

Here is my attempt - for what it's worth:

Our mission is total client orientation, which in our opinion consists of three things: Focus on your success, mutually respectful co-operation, and an objective approach.




Randi Stenstrop
Local time: 17:33
Native speaker of: Native in DanishDanish
PRO pts in pair: 265
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
Personally, I think you've done a good job with it yourself


Explanation:
...and you could spend an eternity trying to make sense of this kind of adman's waffle. The German doesn't really stand up to analysis, because it's too busy making all the right marketing noises to care much about meaning or consistency. I think you're in a typical translator's dilemma, because you're trying to square the circle here. I think what the text is trying to say is something like:

"Our aim is to serve our clients' needs and ensure their success [because they pay us lots of money to do so] by maintaining an objective, fair and cooperative attitude."

But of course it doesn't say it. To make it easier to sell, they've dressed it up a bit. Half the words in the sentence are just standing aroud trying to look important, which makes it hard to do a conscientious translation that also makes complete sense. This is probably why you felt unsure about it.

I don't personally think you need to change anything.

Beg your pardon. I had to get all that off my chest... time for a tea-break!



    Martin Amis: "Money"
PaLa
Germany
Local time: 17:33
PRO pts in pair: 87
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