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Des Durstes Brene, ach,

English translation: attempt

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09:13 Jan 20, 2002
German to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / poetry
German term or phrase: Des Durstes Brene, ach,
Now, I'm no poet! And I've told the customer this, but to no avail ... I've got a couple of these things that crop up (in a welcome message for a restaurant) and have been told to 'do my creative best'. So I thought I'd throw it open and see if any of you are feeling inspired!

Full text:

Des Durstes Brenne, ach,
Wie Feuer ist's zu spüren;
Wenn man nicht löschen tat,
Ein Unglück könnt passieren

Thanks for any suggestions!

Mary
Mary Worby
United Kingdom
Local time: 06:20
English translation:attempt
Explanation:
O quench these dire
flames of of thirst
before the fire
does its worst.

Your boss has some nerve!
Good luck,
Anita
Selected response from:

Anita Millar
Local time: 06:20
Grading comment
What can I say, your versions were all more inspired than anything my prosaic mind could come up with! I'm going to tweak this a tiny bit to 'Come quench your dire Flames of thirst Before the fire Does its worst' as it will suit my restaurant context better, but it is otherwise perfect! Thank you very much, you have saved me hours of agonising!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4 +10attemptAnita Millar
4The heat of thirst, alas,...Christa Zeller Thomas
4I tried to stick as close to the text and the rythm as possibleMark Mulder
4My non-native try
Mats Wiman
4My burning thirst...Ulla Haufe


  

Answers


26 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
My burning thirst...


Explanation:
My burning thirst, oh Heaven,
hurts like fire's spell
Not to extinguish it
would cause damage from hell

Hello Mary, this is my feeble attempt. It certainly need improvement

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2002-01-20 09:40:41 (GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

I hate my typos: needs

Ulla Haufe
Local time: 07:20
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40 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +10
attempt


Explanation:
O quench these dire
flames of of thirst
before the fire
does its worst.

Your boss has some nerve!
Good luck,
Anita

Anita Millar
Local time: 06:20
PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
What can I say, your versions were all more inspired than anything my prosaic mind could come up with! I'm going to tweak this a tiny bit to 'Come quench your dire Flames of thirst Before the fire Does its worst' as it will suit my restaurant context better, but it is otherwise perfect! Thank you very much, you have saved me hours of agonising!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  George Nathaniel: This truely reflects the poetic imagery of the original (with the extra 'of' removed.)
12 mins

agree  sylvie malich: very nice!
14 mins

agree  Jack Doughty: Succint and to the point, rhymes and scans; brilliant!
2 hrs

agree  Pro Lingua
2 hrs

agree  Bob Kerns: But delete one of the two "of"s in the 2nd line
2 hrs

agree  Klaus Herrmann: Well done
3 hrs

agree  pschmitt: Brilliant!
3 hrs

agree  Tom Funke: The little typo even proves that you knocked this off in a rush! :-)
8 hrs

agree  xxx& Associates
10 hrs

agree  Michaela Müller
14 hrs
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
My non-native try


Explanation:
A burning thirst
me plagues like fire
And if not quenched
the outcome might be dire


    Sheer inspiration+Norstedts
Mats Wiman
Sweden
Local time: 07:20
Native speaker of: Native in SwedishSwedish
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
I tried to stick as close to the text and the rythm as possible


Explanation:
Of a flaming thirst, oh,
How it tickles like a fire;
For not to put it out,
Is tempting with desire.


--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2002-01-20 10:35:48 (GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Here\'s another one, but it\'s a bit morbid at the end:

Oh, that burning thirst,
Raging like a fire;
He who doesn’t wet,
Could well end up a pyre.


Mark Mulder
Local time: 07:20
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7 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
The heat of thirst, alas,...


Explanation:
The heat of thirst, alas,
like fire burns;
if it be not quenched,
perchance, a mishap pass!

What fun!

Christa Zeller Thomas
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