frase 1

English translation: la frase è molto lunga e densa di contenuti

13:37 Apr 26, 2005
Italian to English translations [PRO]
Marketing - Business/Commerce (general) / accordi commerciali
Italian term or phrase: frase 1
Ecco la frase originale =

Per effetto di tale crescita, Gruppo XXX ha dedicato una parte significativa delle proprie attività al Gruppo YYY che, nel corso del 2004, ha raggiunto volumi di fatturato pari a ca. un terzo dell’attività complessivamente svolta, con tassi di crescita annui di assoluto rilievo (considerando unicamente i dati riferiti a YYY Italia e YYY Hellas, il fatturato relativo unicamente alle buste da 700 gr. della linea “Osè” è passato da 1,8 €/mil. a 3,5 €/mil. nel periodo 2000 – 2004)

Ecco la frase tradotta in inglese =

As a consequence of this growth, the XXX Group devoted a significant share of its activities to the YYY Group, which, during 2004, reached a turnover equal to, about, a third of the total activities carried out, with yearly growth rates of substantial importance, (by taking into consideration the data reported to YYY Italia and YYY Hellas, only, the turnover solely related to the "Osè" line 700 gr. bags has increased from 1,8 €/mil. to 3,5 €/mil. during the period 2000 – 2004).

Vorrei avere una vs opinione sulla qualità della frase tradotta e se la punteggiatura va bene come risulta.
Nel caso contrario, quale sarebbe la vs idea...?
Grazie 1000 !
elysee
Italy
Local time: 03:37
English translation:la frase è molto lunga e densa di contenuti
Explanation:
L'inglese non contempla, solitemente, dei periodi eccessivamente lunghi, ma modificando l'ordine delle parole leggermente e, in particolar modo la punteggiatura molto "all'italiana", si può evitare di spezzare la frase.
Personalmente la ritoccherei come segue:
As a consequence of this growth, the XXX Group devoted a significant share of its activities to the YYY Group, whose total 2004 turnover was the equivalent of approximately one third of total business and yearly growth rates that were more than substantial (considering only the data reported to YYY Italia and YYY Hellas for the "Osè" line's 700 gr. bags, turnover increased from 1.8 €/mil. to 3.5 €/mil. during the period 2000–2004).

If you aren't happy about changing "total activities carried out" to plain old "business", perhaps "activities performed" might be suitable.
Also, in English we use the decimal point not the decimal comma so it's 1.8 not 1,8. And I'm not too sure about the abbreviation "€/mil." Does it mean "millions of euros?"

Ciao
Angela
Selected response from:

Angela Arnone
Local time: 03:37
Grading comment
Grazie 1000 a tutte 2.. Infatti così questa versione è più "leggera". I numeri infatti hanno il "punto" e non la virgola (mi era sfuggito!). Grazie anche a Sigrid per il buon suggerimento relativo agli importi. Ho modificato però "whose"/"which" e la "S" apostrofo a "Osè line" che non ha modo di essere in questo caso.
Ecco la frase =
As a consequence of this growth, the XXX Group devoted a significant share of its activities to the YYY Group, which 2004 turnover was the equivalent of approximately one third of total business and yearly growth rates that were more than substantial (considering only the data reported to YYY Italia and YYY Hellas for the "Osè" line 700 gr. bags, turnover increased from € 1.8 million to € 3.5 million during the period 2000-2004).
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4la frase è molto lunga e densa di contenuti
Angela Arnone
3v.s.
Sigrid Pichler


  

Answers


16 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
v.s.


Explanation:
€1.8 million e €3.5 million

Sigrid Pichler
Italy
Local time: 03:37
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in GermanGerman
PRO pts in category: 4
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19 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
la frase è molto lunga e densa di contenuti


Explanation:
L'inglese non contempla, solitemente, dei periodi eccessivamente lunghi, ma modificando l'ordine delle parole leggermente e, in particolar modo la punteggiatura molto "all'italiana", si può evitare di spezzare la frase.
Personalmente la ritoccherei come segue:
As a consequence of this growth, the XXX Group devoted a significant share of its activities to the YYY Group, whose total 2004 turnover was the equivalent of approximately one third of total business and yearly growth rates that were more than substantial (considering only the data reported to YYY Italia and YYY Hellas for the "Osè" line's 700 gr. bags, turnover increased from 1.8 €/mil. to 3.5 €/mil. during the period 2000–2004).

If you aren't happy about changing "total activities carried out" to plain old "business", perhaps "activities performed" might be suitable.
Also, in English we use the decimal point not the decimal comma so it's 1.8 not 1,8. And I'm not too sure about the abbreviation "€/mil." Does it mean "millions of euros?"

Ciao
Angela


Angela Arnone
Local time: 03:37
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 62
Grading comment
Grazie 1000 a tutte 2.. Infatti così questa versione è più "leggera". I numeri infatti hanno il "punto" e non la virgola (mi era sfuggito!). Grazie anche a Sigrid per il buon suggerimento relativo agli importi. Ho modificato però "whose"/"which" e la "S" apostrofo a "Osè line" che non ha modo di essere in questo caso.
Ecco la frase =
As a consequence of this growth, the XXX Group devoted a significant share of its activities to the YYY Group, which 2004 turnover was the equivalent of approximately one third of total business and yearly growth rates that were more than substantial (considering only the data reported to YYY Italia and YYY Hellas for the "Osè" line 700 gr. bags, turnover increased from € 1.8 million to € 3.5 million during the period 2000-2004).
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