no problem!
Explanation:
No hands have wrought my monument; no weeds
will hide the nation's footpath to its site.
Tsar Alexander's column it exceeds in splendid insubmissive height.
Not all of me is dust. Within my song,
safe from the worm, my spirit will survive,
and my sublunar fame will dwell as long
as there is one last bard alive.
Throughout great Rus' my echoes will extend,
and all will name me, all tongues in her use:
the Slavs' proud heir, the Finn, the Kalmuk, friend
of steppes, the yet untamed Tunguz.
And to the people long shall I be dear
because kind feelings did my lyre extoll,
invoking freedom in an age of fear,
and mercy for the broken soul.
Obey thy God, and never mind, O Muse,
the laurels or the stings: make it thy rule
to be unstirred by praise as by abuse,
and do not contradict the fool.
Reference: http://ruslit.virtualave.net/pushkin/emengl.html
| Natalie
Poland
Local time: 14:00
Native speaker of: Russian
PRO pts in pair: 4308
|
|
|
Grading comment Dear Natali.
Thank you very much. I actually had already assigned you the points to you earlier, but it appears something went wrong, and you did not get them credited, I hope this time it works!
I made a synthesis of the two translations you supplied, according to the advice of Uwe, who posted the third reply after your two suggestions, saying that the first was better in terms of verse, and the second in terms of exactitude. In case you're interested in the result, here it is:
Exegi monumentum
A monument of mine did I erect with pride,
Not wrought by work of hands; the pathway to its site,
Though trodden by the people, the weeds will never hide,
And Alexander’s column will lag behind its towering height.
Death shall not wipe me out; within my sacred lyre’s shrine
Decay and rot my spirit shall survive,
And underneath the moon this fame of mine
Shall carry on, as long as one lone poet stays alive.
I shall resound through all great Russia’s vast immensity,
My name shall be on all the countless tongues she comprehends,
That of the Finn, that of the Slavs’ proud progeny,
And those of feral Tungus and Kalmyk, the steppe’s friends
The people’s love shall carry me through centuries to come,
For noble thought did with my lyre I arouse in all,
In those oppressive days of mine I championed freedom,
Compassion I did I claim for those who came to fall.
The law of God do heed, I beg you, Muse.
Dread not insult , nor claim a prize,
Indifferent remain to both, praise and abuse,
And do not argue with the fool, be wise!
ALEXANDR PUSHKIN
One reason for taking this trouble was, that you did not give me the name of the translators, and I did not want to publish someone elses work under my name without giving the credits to the original translator!
Anyway, thank you very much once more.
Best regards
Muhari |
|
25 mins another version
Explanation:
I have erected a monument to myself
Not built by hands; the track of it,
though trodden by the people, shall not become overgrown,
And it stands higher than Alexander's column.
I shall not wholly die. In my sacred lyre
My soul shall outlive my dust and escape corruption--
And I shall be famed so long as underneath
The moon a single poet remains alive.
I shall be noised abroad through all great Russia,
Her innumerable tongues shall speak my name:
The tongue of the Slavs' proud grandson, the Finn, and now
The wild Tungus and Kalmyk, the steppes' friend.
In centuries to come I shall be loved by the people
For having awakened noble thoughts with my lyre,
For having glorified freedom in my harsh age
And called for mercy towards the fallen.
Be attentive, Muse, to the commandments of God;
Fearing no insult, asking for no crown,
Receive with indifference both flattery and slander,
And do not argue with a fool.
Reference: http://members.tripod.com/~halonine/1833-36.htm
| Natalie
Poland
Local time: 14:00
Native speaker of: Russian
PRO pts in pair: 4308
|
| | | Login to enter a peer comment (or grade) |
1 hr Ergдnzung zu Antwort 1 und 2
Explanation:
Ich mцchte nur anmerken, dass die 1. Version auch vom VersmaЯ her am ehesten dem Original entspricht. Die 2. ist vielleicht exakter ьbersetzt, aber schlechter nachgedichtet.
| Uwe Kirmse
Local time: 14:00
Native speaker of:  German
PRO pts in pair: 4
|
| | | Login to enter a peer comment (or grade) |
19 hrs Exegi monumentum
Explanation:
What I found on the web (http://www.vladivostok.com/Speaking_In_Tongues/pooshkin.html... is another translation (by Boris Leyvi)of the famous poem. This site also contains the translation of other Pushkin's works. I hope that this information will be useful in your work.
Regards.
Exegi monumentum
A monument, unforged, I for myself erected.
A common path to it will not be ever lost,
And its unheedful head reigns higher than respected,
The known Alexandrian Post.
I shall not die a whole, but in the tokened lyre
My soul will outlive my flesh and won't decay.
I will be honoured till in underlunar sphere
Lives my like who has much to say.
A word about me will over Russia scatter.
Its every tongue will be to me a proud chap,
A son of Slavs, a Finn, and presently unlettered
Tungus, a Kalmyk — friend to steppes.
For long I shall be held endeared to the mortals
For kindness that my lyre was often to unfold,
Because in our cruel age I've shown freedom's portals,
For pardon to the fallen called.
To godly will, oh muse, be a compliant tool;
Not pleading for a wreath, not fearing an insult,
To praise and to disdain be absolutely cold,
And never argue with a fool.
Reference: http://www.vladivostok.com/Speaking_In_Tongues/pooshkin.html
| artyan
United States
Local time: 05:00
Native speaker of: Russian
PRO pts in pair: 134
|
| | | Login to enter a peer comment (or grade) |
Login or register (free and only takes a few minutes) to participate in this question.
You will also have access to many other tools and opportunities designed for those who have language-related jobs
(or are passionate about them). Participation is free and the site has a strict confidentiality policy.
KudoZ™ translation help
The KudoZ network provides a framework for translators and others to assist each other with translations or explanations of terms and short phrases.
See also: Search millions of term translations
You can request verification for native languages by completing a simple application that takes only a couple of minutes.
Review native language verification applications submitted by your peers. Reviewing applications can be fun and only takes a few minutes.
View applications
|
