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Favor ver párrafo

English translation: new site requried? :)

05:36 May 22, 2003
Spanish to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary / composition
Spanish term or phrase: Favor ver párrafo
I'd very much appreciate your suggestions for improving the Spanish original.
This is the last paragraph of the Letter from the Chairman in a Factoring Firm's FY02 Annual Report.
As the Spanish version was already published, I am not sure about splitting the paragraph...

QUOTE Los resultados y avances realizados durante el año 2002 nos permiten afirmar que XXX está preparado para afrontar con éxito sus negocios en un ambiente complejo, basado en la experiencia y la solvencia que ha ganado en estos años. En nuestras tareas estamos orgullosos de haber contado, como en años anteriores, con el esfuerzo permanente y la calidad humana y profesional del personal, cuyo compromiso con la organización y sus objetivos han sido fundamentales en construir lo que hoy les ofrecemos. UNQUOTE

Here is my English version, which I find as poor as the original and would prefer to split into two paragraphs, as follows:

The income and progress accomplished by XXX in FY02 allow us to assert that the Company is prepared to successfully face business in a complex environment, based on the experience and creditworthiness it has gained in recent years.

In our performance, same as in previous years, we are proud to have counted on the constant effort, kindness, and professionalism of our staff, whose commitment to the organization’s objectives has been of cardinal importance in building what we are offering today.

ALL SUGGESTIONS WILL BE WELCOME!
María Eugenia Wachtendorff
Chile
Local time: 23:19
English translation:new site requried? :)
Explanation:
We may assert that the [results] and progress [achieved] by our company in FY02 has prepared it to take up successfully the challenges of doing business in a complex environment, based on the experience and creditworthiness gained in recent years.

In performing our tasks, we are proud to have been able to count on, as in previous years, the ongoing effort, kindness, and professionalism of our staff, whose commitment to the organization’s objectives has been crucial in building what we offer today.

This is a bit rewritten but I used to write this sort of thing and therefore this is how I would say it. Take what you like...IKs this now a speech or still the letter?

Cheers
Selected response from:

Jane Lamb-Ruiz (X)
Grading comment
Jane, I'll take your rewriting, because my own translation was too literal. I've been working simultaneously on three projects for different clients...
Thanks a lot for giving me just what I needed!

4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
5Una sugerencia
Ramon Somoza
5just a few changes you might find useful
asusisu (X)
5new site requried? :)
Jane Lamb-Ruiz (X)


Discussion entries: 2





  

Answers


1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
Una sugerencia


Explanation:
María Eugenia,

a mí me parece correcto dividirlo, aunque, para el segundo párrafo, sugeriría la siguiente alternativa:

"We are proud with the contribution to our performance, as for previous years, through the constant effort, ...."

Ramon Somoza
Spain
Local time: 05:19
Native speaker of: Native in SpanishSpanish, Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in pair: 146

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  Jane Lamb-Ruiz (X): we are proud OF...check your grammar
5 hrs
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4 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
just a few changes you might find useful


Explanation:
Hello Maria just a few changes to your original text
The progress and results accomplished by XXX for the FY02 allows us to declare that the Company is prepared to successfully face business in a complex environment, based on the experiences and creditworthiness it has gained in recent years.

In our performance,as in previous years, we are proud to have counted on the constant effort, kindness, and professionalism of our staff, whose commitment to the organization’s objectives has been of paramount importance in building what we are offering today.
... you could omit of paramount importance and replace with fundamental

asusisu (X)
Local time: 04:19
PRO pts in pair: 15
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7 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
new site requried? :)


Explanation:
We may assert that the [results] and progress [achieved] by our company in FY02 has prepared it to take up successfully the challenges of doing business in a complex environment, based on the experience and creditworthiness gained in recent years.

In performing our tasks, we are proud to have been able to count on, as in previous years, the ongoing effort, kindness, and professionalism of our staff, whose commitment to the organization’s objectives has been crucial in building what we offer today.

This is a bit rewritten but I used to write this sort of thing and therefore this is how I would say it. Take what you like...IKs this now a speech or still the letter?

Cheers

Jane Lamb-Ruiz (X)
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish, Native in PortuguesePortuguese
PRO pts in pair: 7709
Grading comment
Jane, I'll take your rewriting, because my own translation was too literal. I've been working simultaneously on three projects for different clients...
Thanks a lot for giving me just what I needed!
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)



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