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You have to see this one

English translation: Una sugerencia de edición

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17:17 Dec 3, 2003
Spanish to English translations [PRO]
/ Tourism and heritage
Spanish term or phrase: You have to see this one
La mejora de las infraestructuras y los servicios es una premisa básica; sobre ella, el diseño de un turismo apoyado en los valores de sostenibilidad propuestos ha de incorporar las medidas necesarias para racionalizar la actividad, pensando, al tiempo que en el control del impacto sobre el patrimonio, en el efecto inverso, esto es, en la influencia de la riqueza patrimonial, en sentido amplio, sobre el visitante, convirtiendo la simple noción de espectáculo en verdadera experiencia cultural, a partir de elementos de permeabilización como los apuntados, para posibilitar el encuentro y el diálogo.

I'm beyond help. Just shoot me please.
Lorna O'Donoghue
Local time: 03:02
English translation:Una sugerencia de edición
Explanation:
La mejora de las infraestructuras y los servicios es una premisa básica a la hora de diseñar el turismo. Éste debe apoyarse en unos valores que permitan racionalizar la actividad, pensando tanto en el control del impacto sobre el patrimonio como en la influencia sobre la riqueza patrimonial. Asimismo, debe tener en cuenta al visitante, convirtiendo la simple noción de espectáculo en verdadera experiencia cultural a partir de elementos de ¿¿¿permeabilización??? como los apuntados que hagan posible el encuentro y el diálogo.

A partir de ahí a lo mejor puedes salir del atolladero. Good luck!!

P.S: Your source text is crap. You have noticed already
Selected response from:

marox79
Local time: 04:02
Grading comment
Many thanks to all!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4 +10Una sugerencia de edición
marox79
5 +3First try to break it up a bit...
Russell Gillis
4 +2Shoot the client!
Olaf Reibedanz
4Yikes!!
Hardy Moreno
3Fight fire with fire
Ari Nuncio


  

Answers


3 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
Yikes!!


Explanation:
I did a translation recently in which every paragraph was practically the same as your sentence above. There were 7 pages worth. I couldn't do it alone.

I had to have a colleague help me. Thank God.

Hardy Moreno
Local time: 21:02
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish, Native in SpanishSpanish
PRO pts in pair: 75
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10 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5 peer agreement (net): +3
First try to break it up a bit...


Explanation:
There are a couple of spots where you can create new sentences:

1. Where this semi-colon is used: "es una premisa básica;"

2. Where the phrase starts "esto es". A new idea is introduced here.

This will make it easier for the client to read. I often have to do this in legal texts (when possible). I just look for where a sentence break could potentially be placed.

Russell Gillis
Local time: 20:02
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in pair: 667

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  María Eugenia Wachtendorff: Yes, Lorna. Spanish composition is terribly in most business areas (and particularly in marketing). The final reader will be grateful if you make the text more intelligible.
23 mins
  -> Thanks María! My experience is that most Spanish texts use very long sentences, so it just comes with the territory!

agree  Todd Field: yes... go for economy... English commercial language is usually a lot more concise (and less formal) than formal Spanish... don't be afraid to totally rearrange word order and sentence structure to make it intelligible
1 hr
  -> Thanks Todd and Monica!

agree  brendaskye: So many words, yet so little meaning. Whoever translated that text that you have...surely has no idea of meaning nor context. ooof
1 hr
  -> Thanks Brenda!
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15 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +10
Una sugerencia de edición


Explanation:
La mejora de las infraestructuras y los servicios es una premisa básica a la hora de diseñar el turismo. Éste debe apoyarse en unos valores que permitan racionalizar la actividad, pensando tanto en el control del impacto sobre el patrimonio como en la influencia sobre la riqueza patrimonial. Asimismo, debe tener en cuenta al visitante, convirtiendo la simple noción de espectáculo en verdadera experiencia cultural a partir de elementos de ¿¿¿permeabilización??? como los apuntados que hagan posible el encuentro y el diálogo.

A partir de ahí a lo mejor puedes salir del atolladero. Good luck!!

P.S: Your source text is crap. You have noticed already

marox79
Local time: 04:02
Native speaker of: Native in SpanishSpanish
PRO pts in pair: 8
Grading comment
Many thanks to all!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  George Rabel: Excellent!. The original apperas to be already a translation. I hate those!
2 mins
  -> Thanks. So do I.

agree  Andy Watkinson: V.Good. But the impact on the visitor is missing. "en la influencia de la riqueza patrimonial, en sentido amplio, sobre el visitante" - acc.to the author (?) this is what creates the "verdadera experiencia cultural".
6 mins

agree  Guiri: Yuo, sometimes they need translating to the source language first, but you only get paid for one translation :^(
9 mins
  -> It's a great pity

agree  Teresita Garcia Ruy Sanchez: Al menos ahora tiene más sentido
14 mins

agree  Mariana Solanet: this is the way...
33 mins

agree  María Eugenia Wachtendorff: "based on market penetration elements such as the aforementioned/above-mentioned, that facilitate contact and dialog. (Just a fast suggestion -I'm sure you can improve composition)
53 mins

agree  Juan Alamo Rosales: Hay gente que no sabe redactar. Estoy de acuerdo con Rabel, tiene pinta de ser una traducción automática no revisada, tómatelo con calma.
53 mins

agree  Olaf Reibedanz
1 hr

agree  asun: para ¿¿?? quizá pegue "sensibilización???" una sugerencia...
1 hr

agree  margaret caulfield
1 day 11 hrs
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30 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
Shoot the client!


Explanation:
Instead of shooting yourself, I suggest YOU SHOOT THE CLIENT for sending you something like this, or at least tell him that this sentence is UNTRANSLATABLE. I wouldn't even TRY translating it. I hope the whole text is not like this sentence... Anyway, good luck, Lorna!!!

:)

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Note added at 2003-12-03 18:39:44 (GMT)
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Don\'t shoot the client yet - I hadn\'t seen the preceding suggestion made by marox79!

:-)

Olaf Reibedanz
Colombia
Local time: 22:02
Native speaker of: Native in GermanGerman
PRO pts in pair: 115

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  María Eugenia Wachtendorff: C'mon, Olaf! With your philosofy, I should have shot at least 50 people over the past 14 years... EVERYTHING can be translated. You may have to take regular breaks and relay on aspirin, but you can do it -that's what Kudoz is for!
10 mins
  -> Hi María Eugenia, you are probably right :-)

agree  Ari Nuncio: Instead of shooting them, though, you could try charging them through the nose. Everything may be translatable, but that doesn't mean we have to pay for client's sins.
1 hr
  -> Good suggestion :-)
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2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
Fight fire with fire


Explanation:
Let's start with my suggestion: "Improvement of infrastructure and services is a basic premise. Tourism models based on the kind of sustainability we propose must include ways to rationalize the activity. In other words, they must address the environmental impact as well as the influence of the region’s cultural and environmental wealth on visitors. This implies a shift in strategy, from ‘spectacles’ for tourists to a genuine cultural interchange, based on the points of contact we have discussed."

It's still gobbledygook, but at least it sounds OK.

But seriously, Olaf's suggestion, apart from the legal implications, is sound. Except that if you're going to fire the client, you ought to do it before you accept the job.

I offer different rates for edited and unedited work. The job you have definitely qualifies as unedited.

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Note added at 2003-12-03 19:43:55 (GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Notice that I dropped the last clause, \"para posibilitar el encuentro y el diálogo.\" My substitute, \"genuine cultural interchange,\" covers both concepts.

Voltaire once said that the best way to be boring is to leave nothing unsaid. The writer you\'re translating has thrown everything but the kitchen sink into this text!

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Note added at 2003-12-03 19:54:48 (GMT)
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One last note. I seriously doubt that this is a translation of another text, and certainly not of an English text. This job has all the telltale signs of Spanish Third Sector bureaucratese: the run-on sentences are a dead giveaway.

Jargon busters, unite!

Ari Nuncio
United States
Local time: 21:02
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in pair: 90
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