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See phrase below

English translation: who make up the main beneficiaries for whom an attempt is being made to improve ...

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
Spanish term or phrase:quienes se constituyen en los beneficiarios principales a quienes se pretende mejorar
English translation:who make up the main beneficiaries for whom an attempt is being made to improve ...
Entered by: Michael Powers (PhD)

17:32 Jul 28, 2007
Spanish to English translations [PRO]
Medical - Social Science, Sociology, Ethics, etc. / funding proposal
Spanish term or phrase: See phrase below
Is my brain giving out or does this sentence make little, if any, sense?

Son los casos nuevos baciliferos, los multidrogoresistentes, las personas que conviven con el VIH/SIDA, *quienes se constituyen en los beneficiarios principales a quienes se pretende mejorar* condiciones de salud con mejor acceso a servicios de salud previamente fortalecidos, con el objetivo de...

Any suggestions?

TIA
Elizabeth Joy Pitt de Morales
Local time: 21:27
who make up the main beneficiaries for whom an attempt is being made to improve ...
Explanation:
health conditions with better access to previously strengthened health services, ...

Mike :)
Selected response from:

Michael Powers (PhD)
United States
Local time: 15:27
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4 +3who make up the main beneficiaries for whom an attempt is being made to improve ...
Michael Powers (PhD)
5The new cases ... are the people to whom we're mainly trying to bring better conditions of health ..
Bubo Coroman (X)
4are the principal beneficiaries of the [work] of the people who are trying to improve health
Patricia Rosas
3redundancy?
Lia Fail (X)


  

Answers


15 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +3
who make up the main beneficiaries for whom an attempt is being made to improve ...


Explanation:
health conditions with better access to previously strengthened health services, ...

Mike :)


Michael Powers (PhD)
United States
Local time: 15:27
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 106
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Marsha Wilkie: Here goes another agree, but I would prefer 'who become the main...'
32 mins
  -> Thank you, Marsha - I agree, it is better since it is "constituirse en" to be translated as "who become the main ... " - thank you for your constructive criticism to make this a better translation. - Mike :)
agree  María T. Vargas
1 hr
  -> Thank you, María - Mike :)
agree  Francisco Rocha
9 hrs
  -> Thank you, Francisco - Mike :)
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2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
The new cases ... are the people to whom we're mainly trying to bring better conditions of health ..


Explanation:
;-)

Bubo Coroman (X)
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 167
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2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
redundancy?


Explanation:
las personas ..... quienes se constituyen en los beneficiarios principales a quienes se pretende mejorar condiciones de salud.....

Its talking about improving healthcare for people described as beneficiaries - describing as beneficiaries people who are already implied to benefit is tautological.

people .... who will be the main beneficiaries of improved healthcare ....

OR

people ... for whom improved healthcare will be provided



Lia Fail (X)
Spain
Local time: 21:27
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 13
Notes to answerer
Asker: Yes, the redudancy is what bothers here. I chose Mike's answer because he got it first, but I really thank you for confirming the repetition.

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5 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
are the principal beneficiaries of the [work] of the people who are trying to improve health


Explanation:
The people with the new cases are the principal beneficiaries of the [work] of the people who are trying to improve health through greater access to services ...

that's my take on it...

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 9 days (2007-08-07 14:43:03 GMT) Post-grading
--------------------------------------------------

Elizabeth--You gave the points to me by mistake; I think you intended them for Mike. Do you want to ask a moderator to make the change?
Patricia

Patricia Rosas
United States
Local time: 12:27
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 56
Notes to answerer
Asker: Yes, I'm working on it right now! Thank you, Patricia. :-)

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