|Hindi to English: Literature|
General field: Art/Literary
|Source text - Hindi|
cesjer leyeerÙele efyeieÌ[leer Ûeueer pee jner Leer~ Kewj, Gceü Yeer nes Ûegkeâer Leer~ hetje peerJeve og:Ke Deewj keâ°eW ceW iegpeje Lee~
Deewj Deepe peye peerJeve keâer Debeflece meebmeW Ûeue jner nQ, hetjs peerJeve keâer og:Keo Ùee$ee Skeâ og:mJehve yevekeâj cesjer DeebKeeW kesâ meeceves mes iegpej jner nw~
peye mes nesMe mecYeeuee Lee ncesMee yes-F&ppeleer mener Leer~ pees peneb efceuelee, oglkeâejlee~ peye Yeer keâesF& osKelee eflejmkeâej keâer vepejeW mes ner osKelee~
keâceeue nw! Fleveer DeJensuevee menves kesâ yeeJepeto mJeYeeJeiele keâYeer efkeâmeer hej Deheveer veejepeieer lekeâ Øekeâš veneR keâj heeÙee Lee~ yeme, ceve-ner-ceve peuelee jne Lee~
uesefkeâve Deepe peerJeve kesâ Fme Debeflece heÌ[eJe hej nj G"eÙee ngDee keâ°, nj mene ngDee Deheceeve yeÌ[e JÙeefLele keâj jne Lee~ neueebefkeâ Ùen yeele Deueie nw efkeâ Deepe keâer JÙeLee hetCe&le: efYeVe Leer~ GmeceW Skeâ meyekeâ Yeer Meeefceue Lee~
Deye lekeâ ceQves peerJeveYej Deheves meeLe nes jns ogJÙe&JenejeW kesâ efueÙes otmejeW keâes ner oes
|Translation - English|
My health was receding with each passing day, so was my life. Sorrows and suffering have been my companions throughout. Now when I am about to take my last breath, whole life voyage is in my eyes like a bad nightmare.
As maturity came long it brought along the bitter experiences of disgrace. I have always been treated with scorn regardless of person or place. Every single person looked at me with disdain.
Strikingly! Even after facing such contempt I never revealed my resentment to anyone, though I was deeply enraged inside.
But today on this last stone of my life every suffering, every disregard which I faced is causing me with distress. But this distress was a different one altogether. It involved a lesson.
Till date I had always held others responsible for the all the oddities occurring to me, because of which I had suffered a lot.
I always thought that the world is full of evils. It’s not worthy of me. Honest don’t have a place here. Have lived my life facing thousands of such sufferings.
But today on my deathbed I have understood that I was equally responsible for my atrocities. With the blink of this thought I was annoyed with myself.
Being hit by this very thought I was a completely changed person. I began exploring for frailties within me.
The gist is – suffering was still there but its barometer was different. Annoyance was still there but the target was not someone else but myself.
Today when the death was knocking at door, I began thinking, are only others responsible for all the contempt and atrocities I faced? Am I myself not responsible? Or the way of my being itself is to blame for all my failures?
Certainly fault was mine. My own persona was liable. I was such a moron. I couldn’t understand simplest of things. I was not capable of doing a single job properly.
This was the sole reason that I couldn’t achieve anything. Have been kicked and abused lifelong. And because of these weaknesses I have been living on complaisance of others.