ProZ.com Translation Forums

How the Internet Began... | Thanks for sharing!

Kathi Stock — Fri, 05 Jul 2002 14:54:00 +0000

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Topic: How the Internet Began...
Poster: Kathi Stock
Post title: Thanks for sharing!

I enjoyed reading those little stories

How the Internet Began... | Ode to the Works of William of Gates

Jack Doughty — Fri, 05 Jul 2002 04:22:00 +0000

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Topic: How the Internet Began...
Poster: Jack Doughty
Post title: Ode to the Works of William of Gates

THE WINDOWS OF CHANGE

Long, long ago, in ancient times, in 1991,

I bought my first computer and was pleased with what Id done.

My Amstrad 1640 now enabled me to start

Word processing, which up to then had been an unknown art.

Corrections could be made on screen before I printed out,

And paragraphs within my work could now be moved about.

Word processing went on from there and reached another stage,

When What You See is What You Get showed how it looked on page.

My Amstrad wasnt brilliant with Word Perfect Five Point One.

It coped, but now it seemed a chore, where once it had been fun.

And so I got a three-eight-six to put affairs to rights.

Its hard disc memory contained two hundred megabytes,

Which was enough to get me into Microsofts new heaven,

Where icons could be clicked upon in Windows Three-Eleven.

And then there came the Internet, another dawning age.

It took me twenty minutes just to load a single page!

My next one was a Pentium, my fortunes to revive.

This one was good enough to cope with Windows Ninety-Five.

It was a great improvement, the neatest version yet,

And now at last I had my chance to reach the Internet.

To do that more efficiently, and at a faster rate,

I thought I would upgrade once more, to Windows Ninety-Eight.

The Pentium could handle this, it served for quite a while,

But programs got still bigger, to give more class and style.

I added Word 2000 and Uninstaller Six.

Of great size and complexity, they did fantastic tricks -

But did them sluggishly, because the Pentium was slow.

It was well past its sell-by date, and so it had to go.

The new ones much more powerful, with massive memory.

Its Windows is Millennium, known better as M-E.

It handles all my programs and could cope with many more.

Ill love it for about three years, or maybe even four;

But then Ill want another change, and so it will proceed,

For bytes build up to kilobytes to meet our growing need,

And kilobytes have Megabytes upon their backs to bite em,

And Megabytes have Gigabytes, and so ad infinitum!

How the Internet Began... | Auh y Cecilia: son geniales!

MikeGarcia — Thu, 04 Jul 2002 23:02:00 +0000

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Topic: How the Internet Began...
Poster: MikeGarcia
Post title: Auh y Cecilia: son geniales!

Ni todos los pergaminos del Mar Muerto y los profetas podran lograr una descripcin tan ajustada de la mayor droga del mundo de hoy, que es la Web.

Adems, que capacidad satrica que tienen ambas! Deberan pensar en comercializarla,aunque suene algo materialista.
[addsig]

How the Internet Began... | Wow

SusanP — Thu, 04 Jul 2002 17:39:00 +0000

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Topic: How the Internet Began...
Poster: SusanP
Post title: Wow

Me encanta!!!

How the Internet Began... | Of the Fate of William of Gates

Parrot — Thu, 04 Jul 2002 16:41:00 +0000

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Topic: How the Internet Began...
Poster: Parrot
Post title: Of the Fate of William of Gates

And it came to pass that, after many years of stunning success, William of Gates was summoned by his Maker, of Whom he had precious little idea, as it had never concerned him too well.

-- Oh William, I am in a great dilemma. I do not know if you have done good or evil, since you have invented a Monster called Windows, and yet you have made life easier for many. I will thus allow you to choose: do you wish to go to Heaven or to Hell?

-- Lord, I had never thought about it...

-- Well, look, I will let you see both, and you yourself will choose.

-- So be it, Lord.

So William went up to Heaven and saw the choirs of angels singing and thought, \"what a drag\". And thereafter he went down to Hell, where a white, sandy beach opened up to his vision, with clear blue waters, shady palms and beautiful nymphs playing amidst the waves.

-- Lord, send me to hell!

Thus it was decreed. One year later, as the Maker walked through the Eternal Spheres, He found Brother William chained to a flogging post under a relentless sun, with blood and sweat dripping from his brow, and He asked:

-- How goeth it, Brother?

-- Badly, Lord, whatever happened to the sandy beach, the blue waters, the shady palms and the lovely nymphs?

-- Beach? Waters? Nymphs? Aaaah ... the screen-saver ... !

How the Internet Began... | Esta jovencita...

Carlos Moreno — Thu, 04 Jul 2002 15:50:00 +0000

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Topic: How the Internet Began...
Poster: Carlos Moreno
Post title: Esta jovencita...

Siempre introduciendo el desorden!!!!!!!!!

How the Internet Began... | and I always thought it was Al Gore (or so he claimed!)

swisstell — Thu, 04 Jul 2002 15:34:00 +0000

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Topic: How the Internet Began...
Poster: swisstell
Post title: and I always thought it was Al Gore (or so he claimed!)

Quote:

On 2002-07-04 13:47, lmolea wrote:

this is good!

How the Internet Began... | LOL

Lydia Molea — Thu, 04 Jul 2002 13:47:00 +0000

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Topic: How the Internet Began...
Poster: Lydia Molea
Post title: LOL

this is good!

How the Internet Began...

Aurora Humarán (X) — Thu, 04 Jul 2002 13:31:00 +0000

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Topic: How the Internet Began...
Poster: Aurora Humarán (X)

I really did not know where to post this.

It was not written by Emily Dickinson or Jane Austen or William Blake.

It is anonymous but worth reading!!!!

Aurora

How the Internet Began

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader

by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a

young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a

comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.

Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, \"Why doth thou

travel far from town to town with thy goods when

thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?\"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were

several saddle bags short of a camel load, but

simply said, \"How, Dear?\"

And Dot replied, \"I will place drums in all the

towns and drums in between to send messages saying

what you have for sale and they will reply telling

you which hath the best price. And the sale can be

made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah\'s Pony

Stable (UPS).\"

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot

have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and

were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the

goods he had at the top price, without ever moving

from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named

Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham\'s drum

and was accused of insider trading. And the young

men did take to Dot Com\'s trading as doth the greedy

horsefly take to camel dung. They were called

Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or

NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the

new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no

one noticed that the real riches were going to the

drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought

up every drum company in the land. And indeed did

insist on making drums that would work only with

Brother Gates\' drumheads and drumsticks.

Dot did say, \"Oh, Abraham, what we have started is

being taken over by others.\"

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel,

or as it came to be known \"eBay\" he said, \"We need a

name that reflects what we are,\"

and Dot replied, \"Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner

Operators.\"

\"YAHOO\", said Abraham.

And that is how it all began.