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Have a heart | Thanks for cheering up this drab day

Angela Arnone — Fri, 15 Nov 2002 21:45:00 +0000

Forum: Off topic
Topic: Have a heart
Poster: Angela Arnone
Post title: Thanks for cheering up this drab day

I won\'t get involved in this thread as I have a repertoire that doesn\'t bear thinking about but ....

Three lunatics were in the waiting room, waiting for their turn to see the doctor.

One says:

\"I\'m Napoleon and I\'m very important so I\'m going in first\"

Another replies:

\"No, I\'m going in first, I\'m far more important than you - I\'m Moses and God gave me the Ten Commandments\"

And third voice says:

\"what is it I\'m supposed to have given you?\"

Have a heart | Not to mention cases like this one

Jacek Krankowski (X) — Fri, 15 Nov 2002 09:58:00 +0000

Forum: Off topic
Topic: Have a heart
Poster: Jacek Krankowski (X)
Post title: Not to mention cases like this one

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim

suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom & stayed there.

Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled

Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary\'s heroic act, he

immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now

considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Mary the news he said, \"Mary, I have good news & bad

news. The good news is you\'re being discharged because, since you were

able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you\'ve

regained your senses.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hanged himself with his

bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am sorry, but he\'s dead.\"

Mary replied \"He didn\'t hang himself, I put him there to dry.\"

Have a heart | More medical problems to deal with

Jacek Krankowski (X) — Fri, 15 Nov 2002 09:47:00 +0000

Forum: Off topic
Topic: Have a heart
Poster: Jacek Krankowski (X)
Post title: More medical problems to deal with

OLDER MOTHERHOOD

With the miracle of fertility treatment, a woman was able to have a baby at the age of 65. When she was discharged from hospital,

her relatives came to visit.

\"Can we see the baby?\" they asked.

\"Not yet, \" said the 65 year-old mother.

Twenty minutes later, they asked again.

\"Can we see the baby?\"

\"Not yet,\" said the mother.

Another twenty minutes later, they asked again \"Can we see the baby?\"

\"Not yet,\" said the mother.

Growing very impatient, they said

\"Well,when can we see the baby then?\"

\"When it cries.\"

\"Why do we have to wait until the baby cries? \"

\"Because I forgot where I put it.\"

Have a heart

Francesco Volpe — Fri, 15 Nov 2002 08:37:00 +0000

Forum: Off topic
Topic: Have a heart
Poster: Francesco Volpe

I\'ve received this from a friend. I want to share it with you.

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a

look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, \"Hey Doc can I ask you a question?\"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the

motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, \"So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix\'em, put \'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.

So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks,

when you and I are doing the same thing?

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic..... \"Try doing it with the engine running!\"