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What does it mean? | What kind of joke?

two2tango — Sat, 07 Dec 2002 17:47:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: two2tango
Post title: What kind of joke?

Quote:

On 2002-11-20 13:58, jacek wrote:

A bad taste joke?

A very bad taste joke?

A politically incorrect joke?

A good one, Jacek!

EC
[addsig]

What does it mean? | Cow capitalism (to remedy the food shortage)

Jacek Krankowski (X) — Wed, 04 Dec 2002 16:17:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Jacek Krankowski (X)
Post title: Cow capitalism (to remedy the food shortage)

Another joke which is non-discriminatory because it could potentially

offend almost everyone, so I hope no one gets offended. I slightly edited it (a) just in case, (b) not to overemphasize one of the countries.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

ENRON-STYLE VENTURE CAPITALISM:

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows

are transferred via an intermediary to a

Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company

owns eight cows, with an option on one

more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION

A farmer has two cows.

You take over his farm, eat both cows and wait for the international

community to supply more.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

and produce twenty times the milk. You

then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,

and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don\'t know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.

You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the

newsman who reported the numbers.

(...)

What does it mean? | A great joke!

Alexandra Tussing — Sun, 01 Dec 2002 22:19:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Alexandra Tussing
Post title: A great joke!

Maybe an equal opportunity, too. And really funny! ) As the Russians say, every joke has a grain of joke in it

What does it mean? | First rate lode

Arthur Borges — Tue, 26 Nov 2002 02:15:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Arthur Borges
Post title: First rate lode

This is precious raw material for culture lessons to teach Asian students about how firstworlders view each other and \"the rest of the world\".

What does it mean? | I am french

lien — Sat, 23 Nov 2002 01:27:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: lien
Post title: I am french

and I think this is a very good joke

What does it mean? | Comment

Jacek Krankowski (X) — Thu, 21 Nov 2002 10:45:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Jacek Krankowski (X)
Post title: Comment

A Polish commentator on the radio this morning: Let us hope American military pilots\' familiarity with geography is better.

What does it mean? | This is where this type of joke comes from:

Gillian Searl — Thu, 21 Nov 2002 10:35:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Gillian Searl
Post title: This is where this type of joke comes from:

[url removed]

What does it mean? | An excellent joke!

Alexandru Pojoga — Wed, 20 Nov 2002 22:25:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Alexandru Pojoga
Post title: An excellent joke!

.

What does it mean? | Good joke!

PaulaMac (X) — Wed, 20 Nov 2002 15:20:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: PaulaMac (X)
Post title: Good joke!

Quote:

On 2002-11-20 13:58, jacek wrote:

A bad taste joke?

A very bad taste joke?

A politically incorrect joke?

I think the degree of generalization is such (who is \"they\" in the Middle East? in South America? in Africa?) that it cannot offend anyone.

[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-11-20 14:43 ]

I would call it an equal opportunity joke!

What does it mean? | Well Jacek...

Gillian Searl — Wed, 20 Nov 2002 15:13:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Gillian Searl
Post title: Well Jacek...

a sense of humour is a funny thing - everyone I\'ve sent it to found it very funny - but they were all native British. I\'m sure you have jokes in your language that I wouldn\'t find funny either! Why not smile anyway - after all we all need a reason to smile every now and again and laughing is supposed to be good for you!

What does it mean? | You name it

Elías Sauza — Wed, 20 Nov 2002 14:36:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Elías Sauza
Post title: You name it

I\'d say a real joke.

What does it mean? | Remember it's a joke.

Jacek Krankowski (X) — Wed, 20 Nov 2002 13:58:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Jacek Krankowski (X)
Post title: Remember it's a joke.

A bad taste joke?

A very bad taste joke?

A politically incorrect joke?

I think the degree of generalization is such (who is \"they\" in the Middle East? in South America? in Africa?) that it cannot offend anyone.

[ This Message was edited by: on 2002-11-20 14:43 ]

What does it mean?

Gillian Searl — Wed, 20 Nov 2002 13:13:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Gillian Searl

In Africa they didn\'t know what \"food\" meant. = Africans don\'t eat anything

In Eastern Europe they didn\'t know what \"honest\" meant. = Eastern Europeans are dishonest

In Western Europe they didn\'t know what \"shortage\" meant. = Western Europeans never have shortages

In China they didn\'t know what \"opinion\" meant. = The Chinese don\'t have opinions

In the Middle East they didn\'t know what \"solution\" meant. = In the Middle East they don\'t find solutions

In South America they didn\'t know what \"please\" meant. = South Americans don\'t say please

In the USA they didn\'t know what \"the rest of the world\" meant. = And the Americans have no idea about the rest of the world.

It really could insult just about anyone!

What does it mean?

Jacek Krankowski (X) — Wed, 20 Nov 2002 12:22:00 +0000

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Topic: What does it mean?
Poster: Jacek Krankowski (X)

From [url removed]

Translation/Language Joke

*************************

This joke is non-discriminatory because it could potentially

offend almost everyone. Remember it\'s a joke.

United Nations Survey

Last month, a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only

question asked was...

\"Would you please give your honest

opinion about solutions to the food

shortage in the rest of the world?\"

The survey was a huge failure because...

In Africa they didn\'t know what \"food\" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn\'t know what \"honest\" meant.

In Western Europe they didn\'t know what \"shortage\" meant.

In China they didn\'t know what \"opinion\" meant.

In the Middle East they didn\'t know what \"solution\" meant.

In South America they didn\'t know what \"please\" meant.

In the USA they didn\'t know what \"the rest of the world\" meant.

From Global Village - The Times Colour Supplement 24/08/02