ProZ.com translation contests »
9th ProZ.com Translation Contest: "Business" » English to Japanese

Competition in this pair is now closed.

Source text in English

I remember reading once that some fellows use language to conceal thought, but it's been my experience that a good many more use it instead of thought.

A businessman's conversation should be regulated by fewer and simpler rules than any other function of the human animal. They are:

Have something to say.

Say it.

Stop talking.

Beginning before you know what you want to say and keeping on after you have said it lands a merchant in a lawsuit or the poorhouse, and the first is a short cut to the second. I maintain a legal department here, and it costs a lot of money, but it's to keep me from going to law.

It's all right when you are calling on a girl or talking with friends after dinner to run a conversation like a Sunday-school excursion, with stops to pick flowers; but in the office your sentences should be the shortest distance possible between periods. Cut out the introduction and the peroration, and stop before you get to secondly. You've got to preach short sermons to catch sinners; and deacons won't believe they need long ones themselves. Give fools the first and women the last word. The meat's always in the middle of the sandwich. Of course, a light butter on either side of it doesn't do any harm if it's intended for a man who likes butter.

Remember, too, that it's easier to look wise than to talk wisdom. Say less than the other fellow and listen more than you talk; for when a man's listening he isn't telling on himself and he's flattering the fellow who is. Give most men a good listener and most women enough note-paper and they'll tell all they know. Money talks -- but not unless its owner has a loose tongue, and then its remarks are always offensive. Poverty talks, too, but nobody wants to hear what it has to say.

The winning entry has been announced in this pair.

There were 12 entries submitted in this pair during the submission phase, 4 of which were selected by peers to advance to the finals round. The winning entry was determined based on finals round voting by peers.

Competition in this pair is now closed.


Entries (12 total; 4 finalists) Expand all entries

Entry #10307
Winner
Voting points1st2nd3rd
194 x41 x21 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry2.632.50 (8 ratings)2.75 (8 ratings)
Entry tagging:
 
 
  • 2 users entered 6 "like" tags
  • 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
+1
「自分の考えている事を隠すため言葉を使う人がいる」と言う文章を昔読んだことがある。
Flows well
I like the​ use of th​e parenthe​sis.
Mika Jarmusz
そこで
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
ビジネスでは、自分が何を言いたかを自覚する前にしゃべり出したり、言いたいことを言った後もしゃべり続けたりすると、訴えられたり、破産したりしすることがある
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
訴えられることは、破産への近道だ
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
+1
主題以外のことを言う前に止める
Flows well
could be a​meliorated​, but no o​ther entri​es point t​his out co​rrectly.
Minoru Kuwahara
サンドイッチのように一番言いたいことは真ん中に持ってくる
Other
ポイントを文末に回し​ているので、本来の意​図が伝わっている
Mika Jarmusz
Entry #10154
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
142 x43 x20
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.153.10 (10 ratings)3.20 (10 ratings)
Entry tagging:
 
 
  • 3 users entered 13 "like" tags
  • 3 users agreed with "likes" (5 total agrees)
  • 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
自分の考えを隠すためにことばを使う人がいる
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
+2
はるかに多い
Good term selection
Good trans​lation of ​"good many​ more"
Krzysztof Łesyk
ビジネスマンの会話というのは、人間という動物が持つ他のどの機能よりも、より少なくより単純なルールで規制されるべきであろう。
Flows well
Krzysztof Łesyk
+1
1
人間という動物
Good term selection
conveying ​the source​ expressio​n. -
Minoru Kuwahara
+2
1
言うべきことがあれば、
Flows well
The system​ won't let​ me select​ multiple ​lines, but​ I like th​e 3 rules
Krzysztof Łesyk
商人たるもの
Good term selection
Krzysztof Łesyk
商人たるもの、なにを言いたいのかまとまらないうちから喋り出し、
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
維持するのに非常に金がかかるが、お陰で訴訟は防げている。
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
式の会話でもよいのだが、
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
-1
罪びとの心を掴むにはお説教は短くなければならない
Flows well
Krzysztof Łesyk
罪びとの心を掴むには
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
ただ、実際に知恵を語るよりは、賢そうなふりをするほうが簡単だ
Flows well
Captures t​he point w​ell
Mika Jarmusz
相手も喜ぶ。
Flows well
一案ですね。
Mika Jarmusz
Entry #9629
Emi Jones
Emi Jones
Australia
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
123 x400
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry2.842.56 (9 ratings)3.11 (9 ratings)
Entry tagging:
 
 
  • 3 users entered 6 "like" tags
ビジネスマンの会話というのは、人間がもつ他の機能に比べて、より少ない単純なルールが適用されてしかるべきだ。つまり、こうだ。
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
前後に
Good term selection
This is VE​RY importa​nt terming​ in the co​ntext.
Minoru Kuwahara
分別のある会話をするのはなかなか難しいが、分別があるように見せるのは簡単だ
Flows well
Mika Regan
分別のある会話をするのはなかなか難しいが、分別があるように見せるのは簡単だ。
Flows well
Mika Jarmusz
金はものを言う…ただし、持ち主の口が軽ければの話だがね。それも、言ったら言ったでしゃくにさわることばかりだ。貧乏も、ものを言う。だが、誰も聞きたがらないのさ。
Flows well
good flow ​plus preci​se interpr​etation.
Minoru Kuwahara
女性なら片っ端から
Flows well
相手が男性なら、女性​なら、という語順も効​果的。
Mika Jarmusz
Entry #10037
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
301 x21 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry2.502.33 (9 ratings)2.67 (9 ratings)
Entry tagging:
 
 
  • No "like" tags


ProZ.com translation contests

ProZ.com translation contests offer a fun way to take a break from your normal routine while testing and honing your skills with fellow translators.


ProZ.com Translation Contests. Patent pending.

Your current localization setting

English

Select a language

All of ProZ.com
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search