Sojeong Kim - Korean to English translator. Translation services in Government / Politics

Working languages:

Korean to English

Sojeong Kim
Current Affairs, and Cultural area

Ridgewood, New Jersey, United States

Local time: 20:50 EST (GMT-5)

Native in: Korean

Send email

Feedback from
clients and colleagues
on Willingness to Work Again

No feedback collected

2 following

Freelance translator and/or interpreter,

Verified site user

This person has a SecurePRO™ card. Because this person is not a ProZ.com Plus subscriber, to view his or her SecurePRO™ card you must be a ProZ.com Business member or Plus subscriber.

This person is not affiliated with any business or Blue Board record at ProZ.com.

Translation, Interpreting, Editing/proofreading, Software localization, Voiceover (dubbing), Training

Specializes in:
Law: Contract(s)	Medical: Health Care
Government / Politics	Law: Patents, Trademarks, Copyright

Sample translations submitted: 2

Korean to English: Nonprofit fundraser newsletter
Source text - Korean Sallang News(2009 Feb) Draft_02132009 by PHYR [Save the Date!] 뉴욕아름다운재단 3주년 기념행사 일시: 2009년 5월 15일 (금) 저녁 6시 30분 장소: DoubleTree Hotel (Fort Lee, NJ) 주제: 나눔, 자선을 넘어 변화로(Beyond Charity Toward Change) 2006년 창립이래 지난 3년간 희망의 길을 함께 걸어오신 여러분, 참 감사합니다. 함께 걸어온 지난 길을 되돌아 보니, 행복한 순간, 아름다운 기억들이 가득합니다. 함께 뿌린 나눔의 씨앗이 푸르르게 자라고 있습니다. 그 나무가 푸르게 자라서 울창한 숲을 이루는 꿈이 단순히 꿈이 아닌 현실이 되어가고 있습니다. 올 한 해에도 함께 이 아름다운 길을 동행해 주실 여러분을 뉴욕아름다운재단 3주년 창립행사에 초대합니다. [아름다운 사업 하나] [img] photo 첫 정기이사회 및 ‘찬찬찬’정기적금약정식 뉴욕아름다운재단은 지난 2월 6일 저녁 6시, 재단 사무실에서 2009년 첫 정기이사회를 가졌습니다. 지난 2년간 뉴욕/뉴저지 한인사회의 기부문화 확산을 통한 건강한 커뮤니티를 만들기 위해 활발한 활동을 진행해 온 뉴욕아름다운재단은 올해의 신년목표를 “나눔, 자선을 넘어 변화로(Beyond Charity Toward Change)”로 삼고 올 해의 첫발을 디뎠습니다. 또한 첫 정기이사회에 참석하신 모든 이사님들께서 최근 신한뱅크아메리카가에서 실시한 기부프로그램 ‘찬찬찬’적금(link)의 적극적인 홍보를 위해, 한자리에 모여 적금 약정을 하는 뜻깊은 시간을 가졌습니다. [관련 사업 link] [관련 기사 link] [아름다운 사업 두울] [img] Seed of Giving 책자 발간 및 배부 지난 2008년 미주 한인 사회 최초로 실시한 “지역사회 욕구 설문조사”와 “한인커뮤니티 비영리단체 역량 조사”프로젝트 조사 결과뿐 아니라 한인 지역사회 내 비영리단체의 역량강화를 위해 진행하였던 컨퍼런스 Seed of Giving 발표자료를 포함한 책자 Seed of Giving: Community Capacity Building Program Report 2008 를 지난 2009년 1월 발간, 각 주요단체들에게 배부하고 있습니다. 이 책자는 좀더 효율적으로 지역사회의 요구를 충족시키기 위한 전략적인 계획 및 프로그램을 계발하고 앞으로 좀더 지속적인 한인 커뮤니티 지원활동의 구체적인 목표와 방향설정, 나아가 한인 커뮤니티의 역량을 강화하는 데 매우 유용한 길잡이가 될 것입니다. [관련기사 link] [아름다운 사업 세엣] [img] “제2회 아름다운 신한인을 찾습니다” 뉴욕 아름다운재단이 지난 2008년부터 신한뱅크아메리카(행장:김명철)와 함께 진행하고 있는 “아름다운신한인상(Shinhan Beautiful Spirit Award) ” 후보를 찾습니다. 신한인상은 남에게 알리지 않고 묵묵히 아름다운 나눔을 실천, 본받을 만한 귀감사례를 찾고자 하는 취지입니다. 제 2회 신한인은 오는 5월 15일(금) 뉴욕 아름다운재단의 3번째 연례만찬 “나눔, 자선을 넘어 변화로 - I love 나눔”의 밤에서 수여될 예정입니다. [아름다운 소식 하나] [img]: 재단식구와 아름다운가게 재활용 디자인 메아리팀 송기호 국장 Destination: Seoul 한국 나눔의 가게의 재활용 디자인 메아리팀에서 제작하고 있는 상품들이 Moma Design shop에서 소개되고 있습니다. 사진은 이 날 함께한 뉴욕아름다운재단 이사님들과 한국에서 아름다운가게 재활용 디자인 메아리팀 대표로 온 송기호 국장과 찍은 것입니다. [관련 site link] [아름다운 소식 하나] [img] 유란씨 사진 & 은종씨 사진 새식구가 왔어요! 지난 1월 한달동안 매일 아침 9시 반부터 5시까지 늘 변함없이 함께 해 주던 장유란씨에 이어, 상큼한 봄내음과 함께 씩씩한 걸음으로 들어온 새식구 장은종씨를 소개합니다. 현재 경희대 NGO대학원에 재학을 하고 있으며, 사회적 기업에 대한 깊은 관심을 가지고 이미 5명으로 구성된 사회적 기업을 하고 있는 당당한 CEO랍니다 앞으로 약 두 달 정도 저희 재단에서 함께 일하게 된 은종씨, 반갑습니다!! [아름다운 1% 나눔 참여] [donation NOW]_online (?) / http://web.networkforgood.org/gspromo 아름다운 습관, 누구나 함께 하는 1% 나눔 나눔은 지갑을 여는 게 아니라 마음을 여는 것입니다. 아름다운 1% 나눔은 생활속의 즐거운 습관입니다. 1%는 내가 나눌 수 있는 가장 편하고 부담없는 것으로 누구나 쉽게 참여할 수 있는 나눔을 의미합니다. 내가 가진 것의 1%를 수치적으로 계산하는 것이 아니라 내가 나누고 싶은 마음입니다. 생활 속의 작은 것부터 시작하여 꾸준히 실천함으로써 익숙한 습관처럼 되는 나눔의 방법입니다. [자세한 내용 및 참여방법 Click] [나눔참여 Click]	Translation - English [Save the Date!] 3rd Annual Gala, I love Nanum When: Friday, May 15, 2009 (6:00 pm) Where: DoubleTree Hotel (Fort Lee, G.W.B.) Theme: Beyond Charity Toward Change We would like to cordially invite you to the third annual gala of the Foundation. Thanks to your continuous support since the establishment 2006, the Foundation has witnessed how the seed of giving have grown up to be giving trees, soon promising to be a giving. Your prolonged encouragement enables the Foundation to come true the vision for the community, to cultivate a giving culture in the community. Come and Join us to the 3rd annual gala, and let us spur together the vision of giving to reach out and achieve more! Board of Directors, The First Regular Meeting 2009 Joined ShinHan’s Giving Product all together. The Board of Directors assembled on Feb. 6th (6:00 pm) to have the first regular meeting of this year. At the meeting, the Board reviewed its 2008 efforts to spread the giving practice and strengthen the community’s capacity. Taking the phrase “Beyond Charity Toward Change” as a guiding goal, the Board vowed to strive to transform the community into a better place to live through its philanthropic entrepreneurship. At the meeting, all directors opened a Super Flex C/D Account of ShinHan Bank, also known as Chan Chan Chan account to promote the ShinHan Bank’s giving pledge to donate 2 dollar per each Super Flex C/D Account. To learn more about Super Flex C/D Account, Chan Chan Chan Account, click the link. To read more about related news coverage, click the link. New Publication- Seed of Giving 2008 The Foundation is pleased to announce that it has published Seed of Giving- Community Capacity Building Program Report 2008 (Seed of Giving hereinafter) for distribution. Seed of Giving gathered the Foundation’s stewardship in strengthening community’s capacity during the last year 2008. The publication includes the proceedings of the Seed of Giving Conference, a conference to explore ways to strengthen financial capacity of community-based organizations, and the analysis from Community Need Assessment Project, an environment scanning project to assess the public needs within the metro New York Korean-American Community. Through the publication of Seed of Giving, the Foundation envisions to open a new discussion within the key-community stakeholders about how to establish efficient strategies and programs to meet the imminent needs of the community and to sustain community service with the philanthropic resources. Seed of Giving is now being distributed to major government and civic organizations across the country. ShinHan Beautiful Spirit Award: the Second Awardees Wanted Thanks to the partnership with ShinHan Bank America( Myungchul Kim, CEO), the Foundation is looking for extraordinary individuals with giving spirits. The ShiHan Beautiful Spirit Award is designated to search and award the unknown but outstanding neighbors who have given themselves for the others. The award will be given on Friday, May 15, at the third annual gala of The Beautiful Foundation USA, Beyond Charity Toward Change – I Love Nanum,. director of the Eco Party Mearry, Recycling Fashion Brand, at the Beautiful Store, and Staffs of the BF USA. [관련 site link] Visit Moma Design Shop and find the environment-friendly fashion items from the Beautiful Store, Korea! The Beautiful Store, a sister non-for-profit organization of the Beautiful Foundation, strives to help those in needs through collecting, repairing and selling second-hand items. The Beautiful Store has won the privilege to introduce its recycling fashion items through MoMa’s Destination: Design project. Starting from February 10, you can purchase the recycling fashion items from the Beautiful Store at MoMa. Mr. Giho Song, director of the Eco Party Mearry, the recycling fashion grand at the Beautiful Store, visited the Foundation and shared the message that recycling is not only necessary but also beautiful. A New Face at the Foundation! A month ago, the Foundation had a great pleasure to introduce our endearing new intern, Ms. Yooran Chang. Again, we have another delightful piece of news to share with you. Ms. Eunjong Chang(a.k.a. Silver Bell Chang  ) has joined the Foundation all the way from the Korea. Eunjuong, currently studying Non-profit management at the graduate school of NGO Studies, Kyunghee University, is excited to learn about philanthropic deeds in the metro New York area. Eunjong is also a co-founder of a social enterprise that aims to assist those mentally and physically challenged in Korea to lead independent lives through financial self-support. Like the warm Spring breeze coming to us around this time of year, Eunjong is expected to bring more animated spirits with her expertise in non-profit management. One Percent Giving is a beautiful habit that anyone can join. Opening your heart not your wallet is the very start of this beautiful habit. Sharing your One Percent pleases and enriches your life. One Percent stands for the amount that you can willingly share without feeling any burden. You can draw your one percent not from mechanically calculating your income but from voluntarily measuring your sharing spirits. Though the beginning small, this beautiful habit can yet sustain to achieve greatly.
Korean to English: Daniel Prayer Meeting- Day 7 by Youngsuh Kim Detailed field: Religion
Source text - Korean 0:00:05,310 --> 00:00:08,240 오늘 간증을 들으면서 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:13,660 특별히 많은 목회자들이 너무 큰 충격을 받을 것 같아서요 3 00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:14,910 제가 이 자리에 올라왔습니다 4 00:00:14,910 --> 00:00:23,480 특별히 목사님들에게 좀 양해를 구하고 싶어서 올라왔습니다 5 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,290 오늘 간증을 듣다 보게 되면 6 00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:29,410 행여나 우리 목회자들 중에서는 7 00:00:29,410 --> 00:00:32,320 아니 왜 이런 간증을 해서 성도들로 하여금 8 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:38,170 목회자에게 이런 부정적인 인식과 편견을 갖도록 만들어 주지 9 00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:42,830 뭐 이런 생각을 충분히 할 수 있기 때문이죠 10 00:00:42,830 --> 00:00:47,030 그러나 오늘 우리가 이 작가님을 강사로 모신 것은 11 00:00:47,030 --> 00:00:50,410 우리 성도들로 하여금 목회자에 대해서 어떤 부정적인 인식과 12 00:00:50,410 --> 00:00:54,300 편견을 갖도록 하기 위함이 아닙니다 13 00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:58,560 성도들은 목회자를 존중히 여기고 14 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:02,180 또 기도해야 될 줄로 믿습니다 15 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:06,280 그렇지만 목회자도 사람이고 16 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:10,050 또 우리 모두가 다 연약한 인간이기 때문에 17 00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:13,060 우리 안에 죄성을 다스리지 못하면 18 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:17,670 누구라도 사탄의 도구가 될 수 있다는 사실이죠 19 00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:20,500 그렇기 때문에 우리는 목회자를 위해서 20 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:23,190 특별히 더 많은 기도가 필요하고 21 00:01:23,190 --> 00:01:27,940 이 시대를 살아가는 우리들이 더 많은 누군가를 위하여 22 00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:31,390 기도를 해야 될 때가 되었다는 것이죠 23 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:36,320 자 오늘 우리가 이 강사님을 보신 두 번째 이유는 24 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:42,080 다름이 아니라 선으로 악을 이기도록 하기 위함입니다 25 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,320 여러분 선으로 악을 이긴다고 하는 게 말은 쉽지만 26 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:48,230 실제로 정말 어렵습니다 27 00:01:48,230 --> 00:01:51,200 그런데 오늘 우리 강사님을 통해서 28 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,880 선으로 악을 이긴다는 것이 무엇인지 29 00:01:54,880 --> 00:02:02,160 실제로 어떻게 하면 우리가 선으로 악을 이길 수 있는지 30 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:07,260 이런 부분들에 대한 간증을 들으면서 도전을 받고 31 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,000 또한 이러한 아픔을 가지고 32 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,120 이런 트라우마를 가지고 살아가는 수많은 사람들이 33 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:18,590 오늘 이 간증을 통해서 정말 그 결박을 풀고 34 00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:22,270 진리 안에서 자유함을 얻을 수 있도록 하기 위해서 35 00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:25,820 우리 작가님을 모셨습니다 36 00:02:25,820 --> 00:02:29,850 오늘 저녁에 악에게 지지 말고 선으로 악을 이기라고 하는 37 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,480 제목으로 말씀을 전해주실 때에 38 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:36,870 우리 모두 큰 은혜 받는 시간 되시기를 바랍니다 39 00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:39,100 자 우리 김영서 작가님 나오실 때에 40 00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:41,670 힘찬 박수로 환영하며 맞이하겠습니다 41 00:02:52,840 --> 00:03:00,000 안녕하십니까 42 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:07,710 악에게 지지 말고 선으로 악을 이기라 이 말씀이 그냥 생각이 났어요 43 00:03:07,710 --> 00:03:15,460 다니엘기도회에 와서 좀 삶을 나눠주십시오 라는 말을 들었을 때 44 00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:21,840 그래 선으로 악을 이겼던 경험을 나눠야겠다 라는 생각을 하면서 45 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,970 계속 기도하면서 준비했고요 46 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:29,220 또 이곳에서도 계속 중보하면서 기도해주셨다고 들었는데 47 00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:35,220 제 친구들도 계속 각자의 삶 속에서 계속 기도해 주셨습니다 48 00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:39,520 그래서 오늘 이야기 나누려고 하는데요 49 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:44,220 `악에게 지지 말고 선으로 악을 이기라`는 제목으로 50 00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:46,400 오늘 저는 제 삶에서 51 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,120 하나님께서 행하셨던 선을 나누고자 합니다 52 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,230 먼저 주님께 머리 숙여 기도들이고 53 00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:55,250 제가 오늘 준비해 온 이야기를 나누도록 하겠습니다 54 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:58,050 기도하겠습니다 55 00:03:58,050 --> 00:04:04,560 주님 지금 다니엘기도회에 참석하는 모든 분들의 삶을 56 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,260 저는 하나도 모릅니다 57 00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:11,900 하지만 주님은 아시죠 58 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:19,490 각자 믿음으로 살고 계신 각자의 삶 속에 함께 해주십시오 59 00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:23,650 악한 상황 가운데 선하신 주님을 믿고 60 00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:28,220 지금까지 살아오신 분들이 많습니다 61 00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:30,250 하나님 오늘 이 자리에서 62 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:35,720 제가 어떻게 그 악을 통과하고 지금까지 살아올 수 있었는지 63 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,630 이야기 나눌 때 64 00:04:37,630 --> 00:04:42,720 이 시간을 통해 하나님이 어떤 분이셨는지 드러나길 바랍니다 65 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:47,620 악한 상황 가운데서도 선으로 악을 이길 수 있도록 인도하시고 66 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:51,710 함께 해주셨던 그 시간들을 기억합니다 67 00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:56,480 이 시간 함께하는 모든 분들이 주님의 선한 힘을 알고 68 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,450 기억할 수 있는 시간이 되게 해 주십시오 69 00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:03,680 자신들의 삶 속에서 선으로 악을 이기고 70 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,010 살아갈 수 있기를 바랍니다 71 00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:11,000 제게 선물처럼 은혜로 보내주셨던 선한 사람들 72 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,180 선한 공동체 선한 만남들 73 00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:17,600 선하신 주님을 느낄 수 있었던 74 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,940 그 순간들을 오늘 다 나눌 수는 없지만 75 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,540 주님께서 저의 삶을 통해 76 00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:27,030 주님의 선하심을 드러내실 수 있기를 간절히 바랍니다 77 00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:30,920 주님 오늘 이 시간 함께 하는 분들 중에 저와같이 힘들고 78 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,730 아픈 삶을 사는 분들이 있다면 구해주시고 79 00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:37,410 악한 상황을 바꿔주시고 80 00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:43,680 새로운 선한 삶을 시작할 수 있도록 인도해 주시길 기도 합니다 81 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,270 주님 제게는 믿음이 있습니다 82 00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:50,530 주님께서 악을 이길 수 있는 선이라는 진리 83 00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:56,160 하나님 시작부터 끝날 때까지 제 입술을 지켜주십시오 84 00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,430 저 혼자 이곳에 세워두지 마시고 저와 함께 해주십시오 85 00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:05,700 예수님의 이름으로 기도드립니다 아멘 86 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:10,220 제가 첫날부터 계속 이렇게 봤어요 87 00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:15,430 퇴근하고 집에 와서 유튜브를 틀고 보고 88 00:06:15,430 --> 00:06:19,680 그러면서 정말 많은 분들의 삶이 89 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:25,310 아 정말 하나님 없이는 이 자리에 설 수 없구나 생각합니다 90 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:28,190 저 또한 그렇습니다 91 00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:36,420 저는 저희 돌아가신 외할머니께서 그런 얘기를 하셨어요 92 00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:41,420 너는 내가 50년 동안 쌓았던 새벽기도가 있어서 망할 수 없다 93 00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:47,630 너는 사람이 키우지 않고 하나님이 키웠다 이렇게 말씀하셨거든요 94 00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:49,830 그래서 제가 이 자리에 설 수 있었고 95 00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:53,050 성도님들을 만날 수 있는 거 같습니다 96 00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:58,700 음 김은호 목사님께서 따로 나와서 소개해주셔야 할 정도로 97 00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:04,960 저의 삶이 한국교회에 충격인가 봅니다 98 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:09,600 네 저희 아빠는 목사였고 99 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,510 저를 성폭력했습니다 100 00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:15,220 저를 모르시는 분들이 많으실 것 같아서 101 00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,650 제가 간단하게 제 소개를 하면요 102 00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:22,530 저는 `눈물도 빛을 만나면 반짝인다`라는 책을 썼고요 103 00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:28,060 그 얇은 책은 255페이지밖에 안 되는데 104 00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,010 거기에 사실 9년 동안의 아픔을 105 00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:36,900 9년 동안의 눈물을 다 담을 순 없었습니다 106 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:45,060 하지만 그 이야기 속에 정말 담겨 있는 것은 뭐냐면요 107 00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:51,300 하나님이 순간순간 저를 놓지 않고 살려주시고 108 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,750 제가 왜 계속 살고만 싶었겠어요 109 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:55,960 죽고 싶었던 순간도 있습니다 110 00:07:55,960 --> 00:08:01,480 그런 순간에도 하나님께서 저에게 빛을 보여주셨습니다 111 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:06,690 그 순간들을 나누고자 하는데요 112 00:08:06,690 --> 00:08:11,450 사실 저는 이 영상을 보고 계시는 수많은 분들이 113 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:15,380 각자의 삶 속에서 사실 저만큼 114 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:21,050 이 자리에 서시면 간증할 수 있는 삶을 다 살고 계시다고 생각해요 115 00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:24,000 여기에 있는 성도님들도 다 그러지 않으신가요 116 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,440 각자의 삶 속에서 하나님과 117 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,690 살고 있는 이야기들 자체가 간증이라고 생각하거든요 118 00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:39,710 그런데 제가 정말 이렇게 나와서 섰지만 굉장히 조심스럽습니다 119 00:08:39,710 --> 00:08:42,560 저는 강의를 많이 하러 다녀요 120 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:48,380 폭력 예방 전문 강사이기 때문에 그런데 그럴 때는 121 00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:53,410 저를 그냥 드러내도 되죠 제가 이래서 이렇게 해결했습니다 이렇게 122 00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:57,240 하지만 이 자리는 그런 자리가 아니잖아요 123 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:06,270 음 모두 기도하는 마음으로 함께 해주십시오 124 00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:09,460 다시 말하지만 저희 아빠는 목사였어요 125 00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:14,620 집에서 가정폭력으로 온 가족에게 폭력을 행사했고요 126 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:18,690 저에게는 성폭력까지 저질렀습니다 127 00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:22,330 초등학교 5학년이던 저는 128 00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:27,970 대학교 1학년이 될 때까지 9년이라는 참 긴 시간 129 00:09:27,970 --> 00:09:29,600 성폭력을 당했습니다 130 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,730 저는 너무 무섭고 힘들었지만 131 00:09:33,730 --> 00:09:37,090 그때는 그 이름(성폭력)을 몰랐어요 132 00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:40,670 제가 초등학교 땐 성폭력에 대한 어떤 교육을 하지도 않았고 133 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:44,090 요즘은 학교에서 또는 어린이집에서 134 00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:47,380 직장에서 그런 교육들을 하잖아요 135 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:49,290 저는 교회 안에서도 많이 136 00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:53,760 그런 교육들이 좀 진행이 됐으면 좋겠는데요 137 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:59,700 저 때는 그 저에게 일어나는 이 폭력적인 상황이 너무 끔찍하고 138 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,050 죽고 싶고 힘든데 139 00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:06,020 무엇이라고 이렇게 명명할 수 있는 이름이 없었어요 140 00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:10,250 그 막막함을 여러분 상상이 되시나요 141 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:15,740 그래서 그때는 제가 계속해서 하나님한테 기도하면서 물어봤어요 142 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,550 하나님이 이게 뭐예요 죽을 것 같아요 143 00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:24,510 하나님 이게 뭐예요 너무 힘들어요 사람들에게 말하지 않았어요 144 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:27,520 어떤 사람에게도 말하지 않았어요 145 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:34,360 혼자 엄청 많이 울고 기도하면서 물었어요 146 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,780 어느 정도로 기도를 했냐면요 147 00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:42,660 한번은 제가 꿈속이었나 봐요 근데 진짜 몰랐는데 148 00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:48,180 제가 강대상에 혼자 이렇게 올라가서 전 방언을 사실 못하거든요 149 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:52,580 그런데 꿈에서 방언으로 계속 울면서 기도를 하고 있는 거예요 150 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:55,680 저는 제 영혼을 이렇게 기도로 151 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:58,410 하나님이 살려주셨다고 생각을 해요 152 00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:02,560 그래서 제가 막 땀을 뻘뻘 흘리면서 눈물을 펑펑 쏟으면서 153 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:06,780 그렇게 기도하고 새벽에 딱 일어났었는데 154 00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:13,070 그때 그랬어요 나 혼자 기도하지 않는구나 155 00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:15,490 나 혼자 두시지 않는구나 156 00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:20,670 그래서 저는 계속 기도를 했는데요 157 00:11:20,670 --> 00:11:23,030 여러분 얼마나 기도를 했냐면요 158 00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:29,600 100일 기도를 초등학교 학생이 시작해서 159 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,720 100일 기도를 17번을 했습니다 160 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,940 그냥 하나밖에 없었어요 161 00:11:35,940 --> 00:11:39,410 하나님 이 악한 상황을 바꿔주십시오 162 00:11:39,410 --> 00:11:42,020 하나님 이게 뭔지 모르겠는데 163 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:47,630 너무 악하고 너무 무서운데 이 상황을 바꿔주세요 바꿔주세요 164 00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:49,660 그 기도를 했어요 165 00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:55,740 여러분 근데 100일 기도 이렇게 작성하고 해보셨죠 166 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:58,730 참 길죠 길지 않나요 167 00:11:58,730 --> 00:12:01,750 그런데 그거 열일곱 번 해보신 분 계세요 168 00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:05,580 내가 똑같은 기도 제목으로 열입곱 번 100일 기도를 해봤다 169 00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:13,920 1,700일이거든요 중단할 수 없었어요 170 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:21,150 중단하면 그냥 차라리 죽는 게 나을 것 같았기 때문에 171 00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:27,900 저는 계속해서 기도하고 기도했습니다 172 00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:31,240 그때 사람에게 어떻게 말해야 될지 몰라서 173 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:36,740 도움을 청할 수도 없었잖아요 174 00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:40,420 그 얇은 책에는요 175 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:45,330 사실 9년 동안을 255페이지에 담을 수 있었을까요 176 00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:49,480 `눈물도 빛을 만나면 반짝인다` 라는 그 얇은 책에 177 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:54,720 9년의 시간을 9년의 고통을 다 담을 수 있을까요 178 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,500 못 담았습니다 179 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,860 다 담았으면 아마 책이 한 180 00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:04,480 제가 이제 친구들하고 농담처럼 그래요 한 열 권 나오지 않을까 181 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,480 이러면서 너무도 많았고 182 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,010 차마 글로 표현하고 싶지도 않고 183 00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:13,660 표현할 수도 없는 일들이 저의 인생에 있었고 184 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:19,000 그런 가운데서 사실은 악에게 집어삼킴을 당하지 않기 위해서 185 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:24,580 저는 더 하나님을 붙들어야 했습니다 186 00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:28,470 오늘 나누고 싶은 이야기에 뼈대가 되는 말씀을 187 00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:34,020 제가 표준새번역으로 한 번 다시 읽어볼게요 188 00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:40,300 기뻐하는 사람들과 함께 기뻐하고 우는 사람들과 함께 우십시오 189 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:44,910 서로 한마음이 되고 교만한 마음을 품지 말고 190 00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:47,650 비천한 사람들과 함께 사귀고 191 00:13:47,650 --> 00:13:51,840 스스로 지혜가 있는 체하지 마십시오 192 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:54,460 아무에게도 익을 악으로 갚지 말고 193 00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:58,590 모든 사람이 보기에 선한 일을 하려고 애쓰십시오 194 00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:00,300 여러분 쪽에서 할 수 있는 대로 195 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:04,380 모든 사람과 더불어 화평하게 지내십시오 196 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:08,720 사랑하는 여러분 여러분은 스스로 원수를 갚지 말고 197 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:12,320 그 일은 하나님의 진노하심에 맡기십시오 198 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:16,300 성경에도 기록되기를 원수 갚는 것은 내가 할 일이니 199 00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:20,790 내가 갚겠다고 주님께서 말씀하신다 하였습니다 200 00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:23,470 네 원수가 주리거든 먹을 것을 주고 201 00:14:23,470 --> 00:14:26,570 그가 목말라 하거든 마실 것을 주어라 202 00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:27,960 그렇게 하는 것은 203 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:33,140 네가 그의 머리 위에다가 숯불을 쌓는 것이 될 것이다 하였습니다 204 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:39,230 악에게 지지 말고 선으로 악을 이기십시오 205 00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:45,630 이 말씀은 그냥 사실 읽기만 해도 되게 기운이 나지 않나요 206 00:14:45,630 --> 00:14:50,260 저는 악 그 자체와도 같았던 친아버지라는 사람과 207 00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:52,580 초등학교 5학년 때부터 대학교 1학년 208 00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:58,880 여름 방학에 집을 탈출할 때까지 함께 살아야 했습니다 209 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,090 여러분에게 가정은 어떤 곳인가요 210 00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:04,800 집은 퇴근하고 집에 오면 쉬고 211 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,970 가족들하고 같이 밥 먹고 이야기 나누고 드라마도 보고 212 00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:12,930 이렇게 같이 지금 다니엘기도회를 가족들과 같이 집에서 213 00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:16,060 유튜브로 보는 분들도 있을 텐데요 214 00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:19,940 저에게 가정은 그런 곳이 아니었습니다 215 00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:28,100 저에게 가정은 감옥 같았어요 216 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:34,540 그래서 저는 제가 저로 오롯이 존재할 수 있는 217 00:15:34,540 --> 00:15:39,300 시간과 공간을 미친 듯이 찾았어요 218 00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,980 어렸을 때 그래서 제가 찾았던 공간이 219 00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:46,850 학교 그리고 여자목욕탕 여자화장실이었습니다 220 00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:54,340 그곳만이라도 내가 김영서라는 사람으로 221 00:15:54,340 --> 00:16:00,450 아빠라는 사람의 어떤 폭력에도 놓이지 않는 상태로 222 00:16:00,450 --> 00:16:04,570 있을 수 있는 시간과 공간으로 만들고 싶어서 223 00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:08,220 저는 학교 다닐 때요 여기 계신 선생님들 224 00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:13,920 학교 다니면서 한 번쯤 졸아봤다 이러신 분 많이 계시죠 225 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,100 저는 못 졸았어요 226 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:20,810 그 시간밖에 내가 공부할 수 있는 시간도 없고 227 00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:25,860 그 시간만 내가 나란 사람으로 존재할 수 있는 거 같았거든요 228 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:29,820 치열했어요 절박했고 229 00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:34,450 아빠라는 사람이 내 시간과 공간 안으로 들어올 수 없는 곳이라면 230 00:16:34,450 --> 00:16:38,630 나는 거기에서 하나님이 `김영서`라고 지은 231 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:43,800 어떤 선한 그 존재로 그 자리를 지키고 싶었어요 232 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:48,640 그래서 여자 목욕탕 가면요 너무 너무 편안하고 자유로웠어요 233 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,680 거기 못 들어오잖아요 아빠가 절대 234 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:55,550 그래서 제가 그 목욕탕에 가면 235 00:16:55,550 --> 00:17:03,060 지금도 되게 되게 그 장면만 이렇게 떠올리면 눈물이 나는데요 236 00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:13,250 이렇게 목욕탕에 앉아있으면 물속에 들어가서 너무 자유롭고 237 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:19,650 이렇게만 있고 싶은 거예요 238 00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:22,530 여러분 정말 목욕탕에서만 239 00:17:22,530 --> 00:17:29,150 자유를 누릴 수 있는 삶이 어떤 건지 상상이 되시나요 240 00:17:29,150 --> 00:17:36,700 지금은 제가 정말 자유롭습니다 241 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:41,410 사실 작년에 가해자가 죽었어요 242 00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:48,060 작년에 가해자가 여기서 가해자는 저의 친아빠입니다 243 00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:54,170 죽었을 때 제가 눈물이 펑펑 나더라고요 244 00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:59,800 그 연락을 받고 눈물을 펑펑 흘리면서 근데 왜 울었는지 아세요 245 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:04,320 하나님 저한테 사과 한마디 안 했어요 246 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,300 사과 한마디 안하고 그냥 갔네요 247 00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:13,840 그게 너무 너무 마음이 힘든 거에요 기대하지는 않았지만 248 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:19,040 늘 무섭고 그 사람을 피해서 숨어서 살듯이 살았지만 249 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,860 그래도 사과는 해줬으면 하는 거 있잖아요 250 00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:26,530 내가 정말 아비로서 잘못했다 이렇게 말해줬으면 251 00:18:26,530 --> 00:18:29,900 그리고 그래도 목사였으니까 그건 해야 되는 거 아닌가 252 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,580 이런 생각을 했던 거 같은데 253 00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:37,720 그렇게 하지 않고 그 사람이 세상을 떠났어요 254 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:46,980 그런데 저는 그때부터요 255 00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:51,360 제가 지금까지 맛 볼 수 없었던 어떤 자유함을 느꼈어요 256 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:56,050 그 물리적으로 나를 누군가 이렇게 257 00:18:56,050 --> 00:18:57,990 여러분은 그런 경험 없으시죠 258 00:18:57,990 --> 00:19:03,520 그니까 누가 나를 찾아와서 죽일지도 몰라 259 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:09,400 나를 찾아와서 등에 칼을 꽂을지도 몰라라는 생각 때문에 260 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:13,140 저는 예배당에서 기도를 할 때도 어땠냐면요 261 00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:17,680 등을 이렇게 저희 제가 예전에 다니던 예배당은 262 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,560 이런 의자가 아닌 공간에서 기도를 주로 했거든요 263 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:26,620 근데 등을 벽에다 대야지만 마음이 놓였어요 264 00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:31,430 내 등을 어디 이 빈 공간에 두는 게 두려웠어요 265 00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:35,450 그런 게 어떤 건지 여러분 상상이 잘 안 되시죠 266 00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:38,210 제가 이런 이야기를 하는 건요 267 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:41,700 여러분들 주변에 있을지도 모르는 268 00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:47,260 가정폭력 성폭력 또는 성매매 피해여성들 269 00:19:47,260 --> 00:19:50,050 그들이 느끼는 두려움은요 270 00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:54,450 사실 여러분이 상상을 할 수 없는 두려움입니다 271 00:19:54,450 --> 00:19:58,050 제가 이 이야기를 왜 하냐면요 272 00:19:58,050 --> 00:20:01,740 제가 며칠 전에 이제 대학생들을 만나서 273 00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:04,280 이렇게 강연을 할 일이 있었어요 274 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,930 그런데 한 남자 대학생이 275 00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:12,260 정말 멋진 이야기를 해 줬어요 뭐였냐면 276 00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:17,280 자기가 여성들이 느끼는 두려움이 무엇인지 277 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:21,380 그리고 디지털 성범죄에 대한 것도 이 두려움이 어떤 것인지 278 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:24,530 알고 싶어서 책도 읽고 기사도 읽고 279 00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:27,710 그들의 이야기를 들으려고 열심히 노력했대요 280 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:30,560 그래서 제가 유튜브나 시리얼에서 281 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:35,240 이제 김영서 작가 이래서 강의했던 것들도 열심히 찾아봤데요 282 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,340 그리고 심지어 제 책까지 읽었대요 283 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:41,380 그런데 그 남학생이 그 얘기를 하는 거예요 284 00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:47,940 내가 아무리 노력해도 이해할 수 없다는 거를 오늘 알았어요 285 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:50,620 나는 모른다는 거를 오늘 알았어요 286 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:55,100 그게 제가 깨달은 거예요 이렇게 말하는 거예요 287 00:20:55,100 --> 00:21:02,220 여러분 저는 그 친구의 그 깨달음이 대단하다고 생각했어요 288 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:06,220 내가 읽고 듣고 어느 정도 기사 대충 훑어 보면 289 00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:08,580 이해할 수 있을 거야 라는 게 어떻게 보면 290 00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:10,420 우리들의 착각일 수 있어요 291 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:14,120 유튜브에 나오는 제가 강의했던 것도 292 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:18,440 어떻게 하면 성폭력을 당한 디지털 성범죄를 당한 여성들을 293 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,730 잘 이해할 것인가 라는 되게 짧은 영상이거든요 294 00:21:21,730 --> 00:21:24,820 근데 그런 거 잠깐 듣고 내가 이해할 수 있다 295 00:21:24,820 --> 00:21:28,010 이러면 사실은 오산이에요 296 00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:32,960 저는 선생님들께서 오늘 이 시간을 통해서 297 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:38,500 내가 정말 모르는구나 내가 정말 공감하기 어렵구나 298 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,320 내가 정말 이해하기 위해서는 299 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,810 훨씬 더 많은 노력과 기도와 공감하기 위한 300 00:21:45,810 --> 00:21:52,130 어떤 시간 그 에너지를 드려야 하는구나를 알고 가시는 것만으로도 301 00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:56,380 사실은 그 시작점이 될 수 있다고 생각합니다 302 00:21:56,380 --> 00:22:00,930 저는 대학교 일학년 때에 집을 나왔어요 303 00:22:00,930 --> 00:22:04,700 결국은 탈출한거죠 탈출에 성공을 했어요 304 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:12,450 집을 나오면 다 되는 줄 알았어요 집을 나와서요 305 00:22:12,450 --> 00:22:15,520 가정폭력하고 성폭력은 끊어냈어요 306 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:20,100 그런데 제가 집을 나오면서 얼마나 무서웠는지 몰라요 307 00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:23,210 그때 당시에는 지금은 그런 이야기들이 별로 없는데 308 00:22:23,210 --> 00:22:24,890 옛날에 제가 어릴 때만 해도 309 00:22:24,890 --> 00:22:28,500 인신매매에 대한 이야기들이 엄청 소문이 있었어요 310 00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:32,760 그러면 나도 어디로 막 끌려가서 팔려가서 311 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,480 나쁜 사람들한테 이용당하고 이러면 어떡하지 312 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,300 이런 무서움이 있었어요 313 00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:44,990 그런데 그래도 죽지 않으려고 나왔어요 314 00:22:44,990 --> 00:22:50,020 악을 끊어내고 나오느라고 탈출했어요 315 00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:56,150 그런데요 스무 살짜리 대학교 일학년 일학기 때 316 00:22:56,150 --> 00:22:58,050 여러분 고등학교 졸업하고 얼마 안 됐으면 317 00:22:58,050 --> 00:23:00,070 거의 고등학생이나 마찬가지잖아요 318 00:23:00,070 --> 00:23:03,340 세상물정 저는 그리고 1도 몰랐어요 319 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:06,350 그 세상 돌아가는 것도 모르고 320 00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:10,560 이런 상태에서 저는 집을 딱 나왔는데 뭘 봤냐면요 321 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,100 전봇대에요 이런 게 붙어 있었어요 322 00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:20,320 `월수 200 보장, 숙식제공, 가족같이 모십니다` 323 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,140 그걸 보고 제가 어 가족같이 모신대 324 00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:27,030 심지어 먹을 것도 주고 잠재워준대 저길 가야 되나 325 00:23:27,030 --> 00:23:30,140 이래서 제가 연락을 해야 되나 생각을 했었어요 326 00:23:30,140 --> 00:23:34,950 그런데 제 친한 언니한테 그래서 물어봤어요 327 00:23:34,950 --> 00:23:37,660 언니 나 사실 집을 나왔는데 328 00:23:37,660 --> 00:23:41,820 여기에 연락해서 가서 가족같이 살아볼까 봐 329 00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:45,180 뭐라 그랬을까요 330 00:23:45,180 --> 00:23:46,980 가족에 대한 환상이 있었던 거죠 331 00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:49,440 제대로 된 가족을 경험해 보지 못해서 332 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,500 가족같이 모십니다 333 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:55,040 완전 좋아 이러면서 언니가 완전 뜯어말렸어요 334 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:58,520 정말 은혜죠 그렇지 않나요 335 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,830 그때 갔으면 어떻게 됐겠어요 336 00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:02,850 정말 상상도 하고 싶지 않은데 337 00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:05,890 저는 그런 것들이 다 하나님의 어떤 338 00:24:05,890 --> 00:24:08,860 선한 인도 하심이었다고 생각합니다 339 00:24:08,860 --> 00:24:13,160 그런데요 그거 아세요 제가 논문을 쓰면서 보니까요 340 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,420 성매매를 하고 있는 성매매 피해여성들이요 341 00:24:17,420 --> 00:24:22,040 그들 중에 70% 이상이 가정폭력과 성폭력과 342 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,840 이런 것들을 어릴 때 경험하고 343 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:28,350 집을 뛰쳐나온 사람들이었다는 거예요 344 00:24:28,350 --> 00:24:35,680 저는 그래서 그때요 되게 충격을 받았어요 그 논문을 보면서 345 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,260 내가 그냥 되게 단순히 저도 사실 346 00:24:38,260 --> 00:24:40,400 어떤 포럼이나 뭐 이런 거 봤을 때 347 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,260 성매매 경험이 있는 여성이래 이러면 348 00:24:43,260 --> 00:24:48,990 그들과 가까이하는걸 되게 어, 음 이러면서 저도 어려워했어요 349 00:24:48,990 --> 00:24:54,240 그런데 그들도 그곳에 몰려간게 350 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,070 그냥 자기가 좋아서 간 게 아니고 351 00:24:56,070 --> 00:24:57,430 그들도 어떤 상처에 의해서 352 00:24:57,430 --> 00:25:00,770 거기까지 몰려갔을 수 있다는 거를 알고 353 00:25:00,770 --> 00:25:05,150 저는 그때부터도 성매매 피해여성들에 대한 나의 편견 354 00:25:05,150 --> 00:25:08,450 이런 것도 한 번 돌아보게 됐어요 355 00:25:08,450 --> 00:25:09,570 사실 생각해 보세요 356 00:25:09,570 --> 00:25:12,980 예수님의 주변에 누가 있었죠 357 00:25:12,980 --> 00:25:17,380 예 생각해보세요 창녀를 하던 분도 358 00:25:17,380 --> 00:25:19,710 같이 예수님과 동역을 했습니다 359 00:25:19,710 --> 00:25:22,370 그런데 내 주변엔 없어요 360 00:25:22,370 --> 00:25:26,340 그런 사람들을 나는 친구 리스트에 넣지 않아요 361 00:25:26,340 --> 00:25:30,050 여러분은 어떠신가요 362 00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:32,750 저는 그때부터였던 것 같아요 363 00:25:32,750 --> 00:25:37,240 계속해서 이제 거기는 위험하니까 그러며 안 갔지만 364 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,380 내가 어떻게 혼자 살아남아야 되지 365 00:25:40,380 --> 00:25:43,810 이러면서 정말 안 해본 아르바이트가 없어요 366 00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:48,220 밤 12시까지 빵을 포장해봤고요 367 00:25:48,220 --> 00:25:52,990 과외에 연구실 보조에 별거 다 했어요 368 00:25:52,990 --> 00:25:56,490 집을 나와서 내가 지금 플래시백 되고 369 00:25:56,490 --> 00:25:59,620 그 저의 트라우마로 인해서 계속 370 00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:03,920 아빠 엄마가 제 꿈에 진짜 현실로 나타나서 발로 차요 371 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,150 그런 꿈을 꾸고 있는 상황에서도 저는 어땠냐면요 372 00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:10,110 아침이면 일어나서 알바를 하러 갔어요 373 00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:14,720 학교 다녀야 되고 용돈 벌어야 되니까 374 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,740 저는 그때 어땠냐 하면요 375 00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:21,730 아 하나님 진짜 너무 힘들다고 376 00:26:21,730 --> 00:26:25,470 근데 어떤 것 하나도 포기하지 않고 학교도 다니고 377 00:26:25,470 --> 00:26:28,890 계속 치유를 위해서 상담도 받으러 다니고 378 00:26:28,890 --> 00:26:33,060 또 과외도 하고 그렇게 했어요 379 00:26:33,060 --> 00:26:40,940 저는 지금의 시대를 사는 사람들은 저처럼 380 00:26:40,940 --> 00:26:42,490 친족 성폭력을 당했건 381 00:26:42,490 --> 00:26:45,710 가정폭력을 당했건 성폭력을 당했건 382 00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:48,260 그 피해에서 벗어 나왔을 때 383 00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:53,040 저처럼 생계형 알바를 뛰며 힘들게 하지 않을 수 있는 지원들이 384 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,320 좀 우리 교회에서도 많이 지원이 되고 385 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,210 그들이 치유에 집중할 수 있는 386 00:26:59,210 --> 00:27:02,630 어떤 시간과 공간을 마련해 주는 387 00:27:02,630 --> 00:27:06,670 일들이 우리 안에 진짜 있었으면 좋겠어요 388 00:27:06,670 --> 00:27:09,630 정부에서 이제 여러 가지 대책들을 가지고 있고 389 00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:13,090 그렇지만 그것만으로는 부족하거든요 390 00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:16,790 우리 기독교인들이 그런 문제들에 대해서 391 00:27:16,790 --> 00:27:21,260 좀 더 현실적으로 지원하고 그랬으면 하는 게요 392 00:27:21,260 --> 00:27:26,330 제가 사실은 그런 가정에서 아빠가 393 00:27:26,330 --> 00:27:28,850 목사인 상황에서 그 일을 겪고 나왔는데 394 00:27:28,850 --> 00:27:33,090 교회라는 곳을 다니고 싶었겠어요 생각해 보세요 395 00:27:33,090 --> 00:27:34,340 대학생 땐 다녔어요 396 00:27:34,340 --> 00:27:39,010 그러다가 점점점점 너무 힘들고 397 00:27:39,010 --> 00:27:40,770 실망하는 일들이 생기고 398 00:27:40,770 --> 00:27:44,970 내가 정말 교회 안에서 신앙 생활하는 게 참 힘들다 이러면서 399 00:27:44,970 --> 00:27:47,690 10년 정도 교회를 떠나 있었어요 400 00:27:47,690 --> 00:27:51,920 그러던 제가 다시 교회를 다니게 된 지 401 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,910 한 이제 6년~7년 되는데요 402 00:27:54,910 --> 00:27:57,280 왜 다시 다니게 됐는지 아세요 403 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,940 되게 신기한 교회를 만났어요 404 00:27:59,940 --> 00:28:06,700 저는 한국 성폭력상담소에 이제 피해자 보호시설에서 지원도 받고 405 00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:11,360 거기에서 상담도 받고 이랬었는데요 보니까 406 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:16,900 제가 이제 거기에서 나중에는 활동가로 일을 했는데 407 00:28:16,900 --> 00:28:19,890 저희 교회 지금 제가 나가고 있는 교회의 이름이 거기 408 00:28:19,890 --> 00:28:22,110 후원자 명단에 써있는 거예요 409 00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:26,390 저는 여성단체 성폭력 피해자를 410 00:28:26,390 --> 00:28:32,540 이렇게 지원하는 시설을 후원하는 교회를 처음 봤어요 난생 처음 411 00:28:32,540 --> 00:28:37,500 제가 그래서 이게 뭐야 100주년? 뭐야 이 교회는 되게 특이하다 412 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,630 여성 단체를 후원해? 이러면서 413 00:28:39,630 --> 00:28:44,450 제가 그 교회 예배를 이렇게 유튜브로 보기 시작했어요 414 00:28:44,450 --> 00:28:48,940 그러다가 또 마침 직장에 가까이 있더라고요 415 00:28:48,940 --> 00:28:51,890 합정에 제 직장이 있었는데 거기에 교회가 있는 거예요 416 00:28:51,890 --> 00:28:55,440 그래서 가서 예배도 몰래 드려봤어요 417 00:28:55,440 --> 00:29:04,950 그런데 나의 문제에 관심을 갖는 교회가 있다는 게 418 00:29:04,950 --> 00:29:11,940 저는 정말 새로웠어요 419 00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:15,320 왜냐하면 그동안은 계속 저는 혼자서 고군분투했거든요 420 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:19,490 나의 문제에 대해서 하나님한테 기도할 때도 나 혼자 했고요 421 00:29:19,490 --> 00:29:22,360 탈출할 때도 저는 제가 혼자 했다고 생각을 했어요 422 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:29,440 하지만 지금 생각해보면 하나님이 제가 탈출할 때도요 423 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,680 정말 좋은 경찰을 만나게 해주셨고 424 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,890 그 경찰 아저씨를 사실은 10월달에 가서 만났어요 425 00:29:35,890 --> 00:29:40,640 26년 만에 그런데 426 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,900 지금도 경찰 검찰 단계에서 427 00:29:43,900 --> 00:29:46,620 2차 피해를 입는 피해자들이 많은데 428 00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:47,440 저 때는요 429 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:54,100 저를 상담해줬던 그 수사관님이 너무 화를 내면서 저에게 430 00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:56,700 아빠라고 부르지 마 431 00:29:56,700 --> 00:30:00,320 그리고 네 잘못 아니야 432 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,270 네가 부끄러워해야 할 거 아니야 433 00:30:02,270 --> 00:30:04,020 사실 저는 이 목소리에 434 00:30:04,020 --> 00:30:07,680 사실은 이제 교회가 함께해야 한다고 생각합니다 435 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:12,180 가정폭력을 입는 사람들 아동학대를 경험하는 아이들 436 00:30:12,180 --> 00:30:16,760 성폭력을 당한 여성들이 교회 안에서 부끄러워서 쉬쉬하고 437 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,930 말하지 못하고 그래야 되는 것이 아니라 438 00:30:19,930 --> 00:30:24,350 여기서 봇물 터지듯 사실은 말할 수 있어야 합니다 439 00:30:24,350 --> 00:30:29,200 교회가 아니고 어디 가서 그 이야기를 계속하도록만 할 겁니까 440 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:36,890 저는 교회가 말해도 되는 곳이 되어야 된다고 생각합니다 441 00:30:36,890 --> 00:30:42,280 제가 사실은 얼마 전에 북콘서트를 하는데 442 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:48,050 83세 드신 할아버지께서 제 북콘서트에 오셨어요 443 00:30:48,050 --> 00:30:54,500 이분이 눈물을 글썽글썽이면서 제 이야기를 들으시는 거예요 444 00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:57,980 제가 어 할아버님 강의가 끝나고 질의 응답할 때 445 00:30:57,980 --> 00:31:01,160 할아버님 제가 할아버님한테 배워야 되는데 446 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:05,210 어떻게 이 자리에 오셨어요 힘드신데 이랬더니 447 00:31:05,210 --> 00:31:09,660 그분이 눈물을 흘리시면서 448 00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:16,100 작가님 너무 멋져요 사실 우리 엄마도 449 00:31:16,100 --> 00:31:19,990 제가 어릴 때 보면 아버지한테 맞고는 했는데 450 00:31:19,990 --> 00:31:24,150 그게 가정폭력이었던 것 같아요 그때는 몰랐어요 451 00:31:24,150 --> 00:31:28,860 너무 마음이 아프고 하지만 돕지 못했어요 452 00:31:28,860 --> 00:31:34,020 그리고 사실 어디에서 말하지도 못했어요 453 00:31:34,020 --> 00:31:36,850 제가 사실 강의를 다니거나 이러면요 454 00:31:36,850 --> 00:31:40,510 수많은 할머니들께서 또 이야기하세요 455 00:31:40,510 --> 00:31:44,740 내가 어렸을 때 당했던 일이 성폭력이었어 456 00:31:44,740 --> 00:31:51,360 내가 그래서 이렇게 힘들게 지냈어 라는 이야기들을 457 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:56,880 정말 인생의 말년에 겨우 하시는 분들을 만나요 458 00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:01,900 여러분 저는 이제 교회에서 459 00:32:01,900 --> 00:32:04,830 그 이야기를 들을 준비를 하고 계시면 460 00:32:04,830 --> 00:32:11,520 저는 그 사람들이 좀 더 편안하게 안전하게 이 공간 안에서 461 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,250 이야기를 할 수 있을 거라고 생각합니다 462 00:32:15,250 --> 00:32:19,370 저는 또 이제 하고 싶은 이야기가요 463 00:32:19,370 --> 00:32:21,320 교회가 그런 준비를 하고 있을 때 464 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:26,050 사실은 내 안에 너무도 힘든 상처가 있어 465 00:32:26,050 --> 00:32:28,350 난 아무한테도 말하지 않을 거야 466 00:32:28,350 --> 00:32:33,600 내가 평생 내가 진짜 죽을 때까지 이거 그냥 하나님하고 나하고만 467 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,330 일대일로 하고 갈 거다 468 00:32:35,330 --> 00:32:40,160 이렇게 생각하고 사시는 분들이 계실 수도 있어요 469 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:46,780 좋아요 그런데요 470 00:32:46,780 --> 00:32:50,120 저는 기뻐하는 자들과 함께 기뻐하고 471 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:54,250 우는 자들과 함께 울고 거기에서요 472 00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:57,240 어떤 거에 사실은 사람이 더 걸리는지 아세요 473 00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:01,370 내가 나의 상처를 제대로 치유받지 못하고 474 00:33:01,370 --> 00:33:05,250 공감받는 경험을 하지 못하고 수용받지 못하고 475 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:09,470 사랑으로 그것이 녹는 경험을 하지 못한 사람들은요 476 00:33:09,470 --> 00:33:11,860 기뻐하는 사람을 볼 때 화가 나요 477 00:33:11,860 --> 00:33:14,750 여러분 그런 경험 아시나요 478 00:33:14,750 --> 00:33:17,340 저는요 집 처음에 나왔을 때는요 479 00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:21,160 그렇게 친구들이 고생 안 한 친구들이 되게 많았어요 480 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:25,020 제가 예전에 다녔던 교회가 좀 유복한 481 00:33:25,020 --> 00:33:28,490 그런 아이들이 다니는 애들이 많았어요 482 00:33:28,490 --> 00:33:31,930 학교도 좋고 뭐 부모님도 좋고 483 00:33:31,930 --> 00:33:36,470 자취방도 그랜드 피아노가 있었다니까요 자취방에 484 00:33:36,470 --> 00:33:39,550 그런 데를 놀러 가면요 기가 팍 죽는 거예요 485 00:33:39,550 --> 00:33:44,290 아 나는 내 부모 얘기도 못 하는데 486 00:33:44,290 --> 00:33:48,740 그래서 그들의 기뻐함을 그냥 있는 대로 기뻐할 수가 없는 거예요 487 00:33:48,740 --> 00:33:50,620 너무 힘들었어요 488 00:33:50,620 --> 00:33:53,320 차라리 남이 못 되고 상처받고 489 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,320 이런 얘기를 들으면 같이 우는 거는 되게 잘해요 490 00:33:56,320 --> 00:34:00,460 우는 거 어 위로하고 이런 것은 잘할 수 있어요 491 00:34:00,460 --> 00:34:06,040 그런데 다른 사람의 기쁨을 순수하게 기뻐하는 게 너무 힘들었어요 492 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:07,280 그런데요 여러분 493 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:14,240 여러분도 이걸 자신의 어떤 마음의 건강 기준을 494 00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:17,090 이걸로 한 번씩 체크해보세요 495 00:34:17,090 --> 00:34:24,510 하나님은요 기뻐하는 자와 기뻐할 수 있는 우리가 되기를 바라셔요 496 00:34:24,510 --> 00:34:27,370 저는 상한 마음을 가진 분들이 497 00:34:27,370 --> 00:34:31,940 그리고 상처 깊은 상처를 가진 분들이 자기의 상처를 498 00:34:31,940 --> 00:34:36,220 정말 집중해서 치유하고 상담도 받고요 499 00:34:36,220 --> 00:34:38,790 저는 이제 상담을 전공을 했는데요 500 00:34:38,790 --> 00:34:41,810 상담도 받으시고 집단 상담도 있으면 가고 501 00:34:41,810 --> 00:34:46,010 저는 치유하는 글쓰기라는 프로그램을 열심히 참여했었는데요 502 00:34:46,010 --> 00:34:47,210 사람마다 되게 달라요 503 00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:48,650 어떤 사람은 몸으로 치유하고 504 00:34:48,650 --> 00:34:52,720 어떤 사람은 미술로 어떤 사람은 음악으로 다양한 방법으로 505 00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:56,160 자신의 상처를 치유하는 과정을 506 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,740 완전 몰입해서 해보셨으면 좋겠어요 507 00:34:59,740 --> 00:35:07,550 그리고 악을 중단시키는 일을 과감하게 하셨으면 좋겠어요 508 00:35:07,550 --> 00:35:13,180 무조건 참고 또 참고 가정폭력 막 맞아 죽어요 509 00:35:13,180 --> 00:35:17,600 사실 가정폭력으로 죽는 여성들이 얼마나 되는지 510 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,730 찾아보신 적이 있으세요 그거 아세요 511 00:35:20,730 --> 00:35:25,340 여성들이 살인자로 가있는 교도소에 가서요 512 00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:29,150 이렇게 그 여성들이 어떤 사람을 죽였는지를 보면 누군지 아시나요 513 00:35:29,150 --> 00:35:30,830 짐작이 가시죠 514 00:35:30,830 --> 00:35:34,130 자신이 가정폭력으로 계속 맞다가 515 00:35:34,130 --> 00:35:36,150 또 맞을지도 모르는 어느 날 516 00:35:36,150 --> 00:35:39,050 사람이 왜 사실 너무 폭력에요 517 00:35:39,050 --> 00:35:42,780 노출이 오랫동안 되면 무기력도 해지지만 518 00:35:42,780 --> 00:35:44,790 이성적으로 어떤 것들을 판단하고 519 00:35:44,790 --> 00:35:48,860 합리적으로 대처하는 능력도 떨어질 수 있어요 520 00:35:48,860 --> 00:35:52,280 그러다 보니 진짜 얼떨결에 사람을 죽이고 521 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,450 그곳에 살인자로 가있는 경우들이 꽤 많아요 522 00:35:56,450 --> 00:35:59,550 저는 그렇게 되지 않게 하기 위해서는 523 00:35:59,550 --> 00:36:05,520 폭력을 중단시키는 그래서 그런 것들을 하고 뛰쳐나오거나 524 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,040 또는 도움을 청하는 청소년이든 525 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:13,700 아동이든 아내들이든 교회 안에 526 00:36:13,700 --> 00:36:18,240 그런 일들이 일어날 때 다시 집으로 돌려보낸다거나 527 00:36:18,240 --> 00:36:22,370 그러지 않으셨으면 좋겠어요 왜냐면요 528 00:36:22,370 --> 00:36:28,270 저 제가 사실은 기독교 상담을 전공하시는 교수님한테 529 00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:31,630 제일 처음 인간 사람한테 처음으로 말했던 사람은 530 00:36:31,630 --> 00:36:35,620 기독교 상담학을 전공했던 여자 교수님이었어요 531 00:36:35,620 --> 00:36:38,360 저 좀 살려달라고 저는 지금 532 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:44,420 아빠한테 성폭력을 당하고 있다고 너무 힘들다고 얘기했는데 533 00:36:44,420 --> 00:36:48,860 그 교수님이 저 몰래 대학교 1학년 때였는데요 534 00:36:48,860 --> 00:36:50,470 집에다 전화를 했어요 535 00:36:50,470 --> 00:36:54,590 그래서 엄마 아빠가 저를 데리러 왔어요 536 00:36:54,590 --> 00:36:57,700 저 끌려가서 죽도록 맞았어요 537 00:36:57,700 --> 00:37:03,460 그래서 결국은 저 혼자서 저 혼자 힘으로 탈출해야 됐어요 538 00:37:03,460 --> 00:37:10,220 여러분 그런 일은 우리 안에 이제는 일어나지 않았으면 좋겠습니다 539 00:37:10,220 --> 00:37:16,360 그때 정말 포기하고 싶었어요 삶을 그러지 않겠어요? 540 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:22,210 겨우겨우 탈출했는데 541 00:37:22,210 --> 00:37:29,760 저는 그렇게 탈출도 하고 도움도 요청하고 542 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:34,260 그리고 이제 교회도 도움을 요청하는 이들을 받을 준비를 하고 543 00:37:34,260 --> 00:37:40,580 그런다면 저는 저희 교회 안에서 우리 그리스도인들 안에서 544 00:37:40,580 --> 00:37:43,590 정말 많은 치유와 회복의 역사 545 00:37:43,590 --> 00:37:47,830 그리고 악에게 지지 않고 선으로 악을 이기는 역사들이 546 00:37:47,830 --> 00:37:52,060 이땅 가운데 가득 일어날 거라고 생각합니다 547 00:37:52,060 --> 00:37:57,930 그 일을 지금 내가 무엇을 하면서 시작할 수 있을지 548 00:37:57,930 --> 00:38:00,320 생각해보셨으면 좋겠어요 549 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,500 내가 할 수 있는 건 뭐지 550 00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:05,060 저는 제가 할 수 있는 건 그거였어요 551 00:38:05,060 --> 00:38:06,640 저의 삶을 나눌 때 552 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:10,710 사람들이 자기 이야기를 그렇게 많이 하세요 553 00:38:10,710 --> 00:38:14,190 제가 세바시나 시리얼에 나온 영상에 사람들이요 554 00:38:14,190 --> 00:38:16,420 그렇게 자기 미투를 해요 555 00:38:16,420 --> 00:38:18,720 나도 사실 이런 일이 있었어요 556 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,520 나도 사실은 이런 일이 있었어요 557 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,550 이러면서 자기 이야기들을 하시고 558 00:38:23,550 --> 00:38:26,470 그러면 다른 사람들이 댓글을 다세요 559 00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:30,180 힘내세요 대단하세요 저희가 연대하겠습니다 560 00:38:30,180 --> 00:38:39,170 이러면서 그리고 저는 상담자로 일도 하지만 561 00:38:39,170 --> 00:38:44,980 상담하면서 만나는 내담자들이 그냥 내담자로 끝나지 않아요 562 00:38:44,980 --> 00:38:49,500 그들의 삶이 올바로 세워지고 563 00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:53,980 그들이 또 자기의 목소리를 내면서 564 00:38:53,980 --> 00:38:57,590 생명을 전파하는 일들을 하고 있어요 565 00:38:57,590 --> 00:39:03,580 제가 디지털 성범죄 피해자들을 상담하고 있는데요 566 00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:08,300 그 디지털 성범죄가 요즘 되게 끔찍한 거 여러분 다 아시죠 567 00:39:08,300 --> 00:39:11,380 N번방 사태만 봐도 인간이 이럴 수 있나 568 00:39:11,380 --> 00:39:13,070 이런 생각 많이 들지 않았어요 569 00:39:13,070 --> 00:39:16,800 근데 인간이 그렇게 악한 존재에요 570 00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,350 그걸 제어할 수 있는 것은 하나님의 선하심이에요 571 00:39:20,350 --> 00:39:24,610 그 선한 영향력을 교회가 퍼뜨려야 되고 572 00:39:24,610 --> 00:39:27,620 살려내야 되는 거예요 573 00:39:27,620 --> 00:39:31,260 저는 그 피해 영상물 속에 있는 사람을 574 00:39:31,260 --> 00:39:36,320 그냥 콘텐츠로 소비하지 않는 우리 교회가 되었으면 좋겠습니다 575 00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,540 그 안에서 계속 이미지로 돌아가고 576 00:39:40,540 --> 00:39:43,870 누군가에 의해서 재유포되고 있는 건요 577 00:39:43,870 --> 00:39:46,500 진짜 지금 여기 계시는 성도님들처럼요 578 00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:49,400 살아 있는 사람이에요 살아 있는 사람인데 579 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,550 사람들이 500원만 내면 할 수도 있고 580 00:39:52,550 --> 00:39:55,400 아니면 내가 다른 피해물을 올리면 581 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,370 나도 더 센 영상을 받을 수 있어 582 00:39:58,370 --> 00:40:02,560 이러면서 굉장히 쉽게 거래하고 있어요 583 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:11,410 영혼을 살아있는 영혼을 그냥 콘텐츠 소비하듯이 이거는요 584 00:40:11,410 --> 00:40:15,550 엄청난 죄악이에요 585 00:40:15,550 --> 00:40:19,550 지금이라도 내가 사실 나는 그때 586 00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:22,290 그거 불법 촬영물인지 몰랐어 587 00:40:22,290 --> 00:40:24,770 뭐 몰카 야동 이런 용어들부터 588 00:40:24,770 --> 00:40:27,050 우리 교회 안에서 바꿔나가야 되는데요 589 00:40:27,050 --> 00:40:31,680 몰카 아동 아니고요 불법 촬영물이에요 590 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:35,160 그런 피해물속에 있는 사람을 591 00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:39,590 정말 살아있는 영혼으로 대하는 우리 교회가 되었으면 좋겠고요 592 00:40:39,590 --> 00:40:44,640 우리 저부터도 그 사람을 만나서요 인터뷰를 하면서요 593 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,230 그런 이야기를 들었어요 594 00:40:47,230 --> 00:40:50,170 선생님 제가 살아 있는 게 이상해요 595 00:40:50,170 --> 00:40:52,220 지금 여기서 이렇게 말을 하고 있는 게 596 00:40:52,220 --> 00:40:55,970 왜냐하면 죽고 싶은 생각을 늘 하니까 597 00:40:55,970 --> 00:40:57,380 굉장히 많이 하거든요 598 00:40:57,380 --> 00:41:02,880 그 영혼들을 우리가 어떻게 살릴지를 기도하면서 준비하면서 599 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,560 그 악에 어떻게 맞설지를 600 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,390 우리 교회는 준비해야 한다고 생각합니다 601 00:41:08,390 --> 00:41:13,610 다른 게 아니라 정말 성폭력이 교회 안에서부터 602 00:41:13,610 --> 00:41:16,690 중단되어야 하지 않을까요 603 00:41:16,690 --> 00:41:19,180 우리는 피해자의 편에서야해요 604 00:41:19,180 --> 00:41:24,860 가해자의 편이 아니라 힘 있는 자의 편이 아니라 힘이 없는 605 00:41:24,860 --> 00:41:27,170 다수의 편이 아니라 소수의 606 00:41:27,170 --> 00:41:28,570 강자의 편이 아니라 607 00:41:28,570 --> 00:41:33,970 약자의 편에 서는 교회가 되어야 한다고 생각합니다 608 00:41:33,970 --> 00:41:41,600 믿습니까래 죄송합니다 이게 뭐지 그렇게 생각하세요 정말로? 609 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:49,550 저는 저의 부족한 어떤 힘을 가지고 610 00:41:49,550 --> 00:41:51,500 지금 애를 쓰고 있는 거는 611 00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:57,390 성폭력에 대한 어떤 편견들을 없애가는 일들을 하고 있어요 612 00:41:57,390 --> 00:42:00,780 수치심은 피해자의 것이 아니에요 613 00:42:00,780 --> 00:42:06,880 누구 거죠? 네 잘 아시네요 가해자의 것입니다 614 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:08,720 그 영상을 소비하는 사람들 615 00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:11,740 그리고 힘이 없는 사람을 때리고 있는 사람 616 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:15,450 힘이 없는 사람을 성폭력하고 있는 사람 617 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:21,240 동의 없이 다른 사람의 성적 결정권을 618 00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:25,330 침해하는 폭력을 행하고 있는 사람들에 대해서 619 00:42:25,330 --> 00:42:33,260 우리는 그 악과 싸워나가야 되는 거예요 620 00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:36,720 피해자들이 말할 수 있으려면요 621 00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,040 사실 저는 교회에서요 622 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:43,610 제가 대학부 때 교회를 다니면서 너무너무 감사했던 게 뭔지 알아요 623 00:42:43,610 --> 00:42:47,000 저희 교회에서는 저를 알면서도 624 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:53,860 저에 대해서 어떤 소문도 가십거리처럼 돌지 않았어요 625 00:42:53,860 --> 00:42:56,120 그리고 중보기도 제목은요 626 00:42:56,120 --> 00:43:00,040 본인 스스로 나눌 수 있게 해줬어요 627 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,780 자기의 목소리로 자기의 고통스러움과 628 00:43:03,780 --> 00:43:06,090 자기의 아픔을 나눌 수 있게 해 주세요 629 00:43:06,090 --> 00:43:08,490 내가 저 사람을 위해서 저 사람의 상처를 내가 들었으니까 630 00:43:08,490 --> 00:43:15,580 내가 얘기해줘야지 631 00:43:15,580 --> 00:43:20,120 자기의 상처는 자기가 나누고 그 상처를 나눌 때 632 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:24,800 되게 좋은 자세가 뭔지 늘 고민해 보셨으면 좋겠는데요 633 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,750 저는 그거 하나 제시할게요 634 00:43:27,750 --> 00:43:31,190 제발 다른 사람의 어떤 이야기를 들을 때요 635 00:43:31,190 --> 00:43:33,040 아 내가 이런 조언을 해줘야겠어 636 00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,740 이런 생각을 안 하고 들으시면 좋겠어요 637 00:43:35,740 --> 00:43:38,110 사실 되게 많이 하거든요 638 00:43:38,110 --> 00:43:39,780 뭐 이것 때문에 힘들어요 639 00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:41,970 그러면 나도 그런 힘든 일이 있었는데 640 00:43:41,970 --> 00:43:48,410 이러면서 얘기하기 시작하면요 나눔을 하기가 막혀요 641 00:43:48,410 --> 00:43:53,780 다른 사람의 상처를 듣는 자세 그건 경청 642 00:43:53,780 --> 00:43:55,660 공감적 경청인데요 643 00:43:55,660 --> 00:43:59,620 그 사람의 입장이 되어서 듣는 거예요 644 00:43:59,620 --> 00:44:05,220 말하자면 이런 거에요 저는 9년 동안 성폭력을 당했어요 645 00:44:05,220 --> 00:44:06,060 그 이야기를 할 때 646 00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:10,870 왜 9년이나 당했지 라고 생각하기보다는 647 00:44:10,870 --> 00:44:19,100 9년 동안 말할 수 없었던 그녀의 삶은 어땠을까 648 00:44:19,100 --> 00:44:22,610 초등학교 5학년짜리 꼬마가요 649 00:44:22,610 --> 00:44:26,060 지금 제 조카가 초등학교 5학년이 되니까 650 00:44:26,060 --> 00:44:28,290 남동생이 그런 얘기를 했어요 651 00:44:28,290 --> 00:44:31,090 누나가 저렇게 어렸었구나 652 00:44:31,090 --> 00:44:36,260 그때 그 일을 당했구나 653 00:44:36,260 --> 00:44:38,630 저도 저희 조카보면서 깜짝 깜짝 놀라요 654 00:44:38,630 --> 00:44:42,650 내가 요만할 때부터 온몸으로 맞아가면서 655 00:44:42,650 --> 00:44:49,250 기절 할 때까지 맞아가면서 성폭력을 당하고 살아남았구나 656 00:44:49,250 --> 00:44:52,770 하나님이 살려주셨구나 657 00:44:52,770 --> 00:44:57,680 여러분 근데 이제 혼자 살아남는 그 힘든 시간을 658 00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:02,540 또 다음 세대에 넘겨주지 않는 우리 세대가 되었으면 좋겠어요 659 00:45:02,540 --> 00:45:08,160 혼자 살아남느라고 정말 힘들었거든요 660 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:13,230 아무한테도 말하지 못해서 정말 힘들었어요 661 00:45:13,230 --> 00:45:21,630 말해도 안전한 말해도 나를 이상하게 보지 않는 662 00:45:21,630 --> 00:45:25,440 그런 한국교회가 된다면 663 00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:31,070 저는 교회 안에 더 많은 사람들이 664 00:45:31,070 --> 00:45:38,980 치유의 하나님을 만날 것 같아요 665 00:45:38,980 --> 00:45:46,970 저는 기뻐하는 자들과 기뻐할 수 있게 되기 시작한 게요 666 00:45:46,970 --> 00:45:50,590 얼마 안 됐는데요 667 00:45:50,590 --> 00:45:54,210 기뻐하기 시작하니까 그다음에는요 668 00:45:54,210 --> 00:45:59,100 우는 자들과 함께 우는 게요 굉장히 자연스러워졌어요 669 00:45:59,100 --> 00:46:00,480 애쓰지 않아도 됐고요 670 00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:06,020 상담을 제가 지금도 계속하고 있는데요 671 00:46:06,020 --> 00:46:10,560 정말 그 사람의 삶에 공감에서 672 00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:13,530 아파하고 울 수 있게 됐어요 673 00:46:13,530 --> 00:46:16,420 굳이 막 나도 저 일 겪어봐서 나도 아는데 674 00:46:16,420 --> 00:46:22,670 이게 아니고 정말 그 사람이 얼마나 아프고 힘들지 675 00:46:22,670 --> 00:46:27,970 그 사람의 입장이 되어서 생각할 수 있게 되는 676 00:46:27,970 --> 00:46:33,090 그런 여러분이 되어 주시기를 간절히 바랍니다 677 00:46:33,090 --> 00:46:40,780 제가 얼마 전에 제 책을 읽었던 남자분들의 이야기를 678 00:46:40,780 --> 00:46:43,500 참 많이 이렇게 듣게 되는데요 679 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:46,640 한 PD님께서 시사 프로그램의 PD님이요 680 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,300 그런 이야기를 하시더라고요 681 00:46:48,300 --> 00:46:50,580 자기는 시사 프로그램을 오래 해 왔기 때문에 682 00:46:50,580 --> 00:46:53,500 성폭력에 대해서 잘 안다고 생각하셨대요 683 00:46:53,500 --> 00:47:01,380 그런데 이 책을 보고 성폭력이 진짜 섹슈얼한 어떤 것이 아니고 684 00:47:01,380 --> 00:47:02,750 성적이 어떤 것이 아니고 685 00:47:02,750 --> 00:47:06,460 폭력이구나 를 그냥 알 수 있었대요 686 00:47:06,460 --> 00:47:09,640 눈물도 빛을 만나면 반짝인다라는 건요 687 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:14,700 제가 울고 울고 울다가 제 눈물이 빛을 만나서 688 00:47:14,700 --> 00:47:19,200 반짝이는 어떤 순간에 깨달은 건데 689 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:29,950 그 순간이 오기까지 그 폭력은요 그 악은요 690 00:47:29,950 --> 00:47:31,460 여기에 있는 어떤 분도 691 00:47:31,460 --> 00:47:36,870 사실 그 악 자체를 마주한 경험이 별로 없으실 것 같아요 692 00:47:36,870 --> 00:47:38,490 저희 전도사님이 대학부 때 693 00:47:38,490 --> 00:47:42,520 전도사님이 저한테 제가 계속 용서해야 되는데 694 00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:45,130 아빠를 미워하면 안 되는데 너무 힘든데 695 00:47:45,130 --> 00:47:48,650 이거 계속 미워하면 힘든데 이러면서 되게 힘들어할 때요 696 00:47:48,650 --> 00:47:51,750 제가 대학교 1~2학년 때 굉장히 그걸로 힘들어했거든요 697 00:47:51,750 --> 00:47:55,550 전도사님께서 저에게 그러셨어요 용서하지 마라 698 00:47:55,550 --> 00:47:59,200 그건 네가 할 수 있는 게 아니다 699 00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,770 그냥 하나님한테 던져놓고 700 00:48:01,770 --> 00:48:05,380 너는 그냥 미우면 밉다고 욕하고 701 00:48:05,380 --> 00:48:13,810 그냥 저의 감정을 속이지 않아도 되도록 해주셨어요 702 00:48:13,810 --> 00:48:16,030 그 전도사님이 너무 감사해요 703 00:48:16,030 --> 00:48:20,620 여러분 피해자들 가정폭력이든 704 00:48:20,620 --> 00:48:24,830 성폭력이든 그 피해자들에게요 용서에 대해서는 705 00:48:24,830 --> 00:48:27,970 적어도 여러분이 말하지는 말아주세요 706 00:48:27,970 --> 00:48:34,150 그들이 하나님과 독대하면서 풀어 가야 될 영역인 거 같아요 707 00:48:34,150 --> 00:48:41,380 그래서 자유함을 주는 교회가 되었으면 좋겠습니다 708 00:48:41,380 --> 00:48:48,400 그래서 피해자들이 교회를 눈치 보면서 피해가고 도망가고 709 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:52,920 이러지 않고 내가 힘든 일이 있으면 내가 나눌 것이 있으면 710 00:48:52,920 --> 00:49:00,420 찾아올 수 있는 곳으로 만들어 주셨으면 좋겠습니다 711 00:49:00,420 --> 00:49:08,290 제가 마지막으로 이야기를 드리고 싶은 게요 712 00:49:08,290 --> 00:49:11,280 상처를 치유하고 친구들과 어울려 살아가면서요 713 00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:17,390 제가 이제 삶에 굉장히 많은 사람들을 제 책을 통해서 만나잖아요 714 00:49:17,390 --> 00:49:20,550 그러면서 이런 일이 있었습니다 715 00:49:20,550 --> 00:49:26,590 지난주에 세바시 작가님께서 독자의 편지를 전해주셨어요 716 00:49:26,590 --> 00:49:28,960 근데 그 독자분이 이렇게 보내주셨습니다 717 00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:34,110 안녕하세요 `눈물도 빛을 만나면 반짝인다`의 독자입니다 718 00:49:34,110 --> 00:49:36,740 몇 년 전 제가 살던 지역에서 열린 719 00:49:36,740 --> 00:49:41,440 김영서 작가님의 북콘서트에 다녀왔던 사람 중 하나입니다 720 00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:47,440 그때 저도 친아빠에게 성폭행을 당해서 721 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:50,560 그 상처를 껴안고 어른이 되어 722 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:54,220 작가님의 콘서트에 참여했습니다 723 00:49:54,220 --> 00:49:57,070 가장 사랑하는 사람에게 이해받지 못할 때 724 00:49:57,070 --> 00:50:03,870 어떻게 하면 좋을까요 라는 질문을 포스트잇에 붙여놓았습니다 725 00:50:03,870 --> 00:50:13,540 그런데 제가 그 질문에 이런 답을 했대요 726 00:50:13,54	Translation - English 1 00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:08,240 I'm here to warn you ahead 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:13,660 that you may be shocked and possibly traumatized with today's testimony, 3 00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:14,910 especially pastors. 4 00:00:14,910 --> 00:00:23,480 I wanted to ask for special understanding from pastors. 5 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,290 Some pastors might find 6 00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:29,410 today's testimony 7 00:00:29,410 --> 00:00:32,320 biased negative against themselves 8 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:38,170 and lead congregation members to have prejudice against them. 9 00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:42,830 Some could view today's testimony that way. 10 00:00:42,830 --> 00:00:47,030 But the reason that we invited today's speaker 11 00:00:47,030 --> 00:00:50,410 was not about to persuade the congregation members 12 00:00:50,410 --> 00:00:54,300 to have prejudice about pastors. 13 00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:58,560 I believe all saints should respect pastors 14 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:02,180 and pray for them. 15 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:06,280 But I would like to emphasize that 16 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:10,050 after all, pastors are also fleshly beings, 17 00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:13,060 and can be used as tools for Satan 18 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:17,670 if we don't deal with our sinfulness within ourselves. 19 00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:20,500 That's why it is very important 20 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:23,190 for us to pray more especially for pastors, 21 00:01:23,190 --> 00:01:27,940 and we should pray for someone else 22 00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:31,390 even more as we live this time. 23 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:36,320 The second reason that we invited today's speaker 24 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:42,080 was to emphasize the necessity to overcome evil with good. 25 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,320 We say so easily about overcoming evil with good, 26 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:48,230 but to practice in real life is very difficult. 27 00:01:48,230 --> 00:01:51,200 But with today's testimony, 28 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,880 I want us to contemplate what it means to overcome evil with good 29 00:01:54,880 --> 00:02:02,160 and what actually takes to do so. 30 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:07,260 I hope today's testimony challenges us. 31 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,000 I also hope today's testimony 32 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,120 reaches up to those who live with such trauma, 33 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:18,590 unfastens their chains of pains 34 00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:22,270 and set them free in Truth. 35 00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:25,820 For those reasons, we invited Ms. Yong-seo Kim. 36 00:02:25,820 --> 00:02:29,850 When Ms. Kim shares her testimony 37 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,480 with the title, 'Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome with good.' 38 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:36,870 I hope you find yourselves amid the flourishing grace of God. 39 00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:39,100 Let's give rounds of big applauds 40 00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:41,670 to welcome, Author, Young-seo Kim. 41 00:02:52,840 --> 00:03:00,000 Hello. 42 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:07,710 I just thought about the verse, 'Don't be overcome with evil but overcome evil with good,' 43 00:03:07,710 --> 00:03:15,460 when I was invited over to speak at 21-Day Daniel Prayer Meetings. 44 00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:21,840 So, I prepared about sharing my own experience of overcoming evil with good 45 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,970 with prayers. 46 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:29,220 I also heard many of you continued to intercede and pray for me. 47 00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:35,220 My friends also prayed for me from each place of their lives. 48 00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:39,520 So I would like to start my testimony 49 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:44,220 with the title, "Do not be overcome with evil but overcome evil with good.' 50 00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:46,400 and share the good that 51 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,120 God's shown to me in my life. 52 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,230 I would like to bow my head to the Lord and pray 53 00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:55,250 before I share my testimony with you. 54 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:58,050 Let's pray. 55 00:03:58,050 --> 00:04:04,560 Lord,I don't know anything 56 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,260 about the lives of those participating in this prayer meeting tonight. 57 00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:11,900 But, Lord, You know them and You know about each of them. 58 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:19,490 Lord, please be present with each of their lives that they lead with their faith. 59 00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:23,650 There are lots of saints who relied solely on good Lord 60 00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:28,220 while they were surrounded by evil. 61 00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:30,250 Heavenly Father, 62 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:35,720 please reveal to us who You are 63 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,630 while I am sharing 64 00:04:37,630 --> 00:04:42,720 how I went through evil and survived. 65 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:47,620 I still remember those time 66 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:51,710 how you lead me to overcome evil with good and accompany me. 67 00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:56,480 Please guide each of us tonight 68 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,450 to get to know and to remember Your good power. 69 00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:03,680 I hope each of participants here to overcome evil in their life 70 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,010 with good as You accompany them. 71 00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:11,000 I probably cannot share 72 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,180 all the good community and all the good encounters, 73 00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:17,600 that you have given me as gifts, 74 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,940 the moments that I felt Your goodness, 75 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,540 but I sincerely hope that I could reveal 76 00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:27,030 Your goodness through my life. 77 00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:30,920 Lord, if there are anyone here tonight 78 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,730 who are going through the hardship and pains as I did, 79 00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:37,410 please change the situation they are facing 80 00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:43,680 and lead them to start a new good life as You walk with them. 81 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,270 Lord, I believe in 82 00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:50,530 the truth that You are good and You've overcome evil. 83 00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:56,160 Please keep my lips from the beginning to the end. 84 00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,430 Please do not let me stand here alone but stay with me. 85 00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:05,700 I pray in Jesus Christ's name, amen. 86 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:10,220 I've been watching this prayer meeting from the Day 1 87 00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:15,430 remotely via Youtube after my work. 88 00:06:15,430 --> 00:06:19,680 I realized that without God, 89 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:25,310 no speakers could stand on the stage. 90 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:28,190 It's the same for me, too. 91 00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:36,420 My deceased grandmother, my mom's side, used to say 92 00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:41,420 You would never fail as my dawn prayers have been accumulated for 50 years. 93 00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:47,630 You are not raised by humans, but God. 94 00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:49,830 And I think that's why I am here tonight 95 00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:53,050 and I can meet you all, Saints. 96 00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:58,700 Perhaps, my story is very shocking to Korean churches enough 97 00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:04,960 that Pastor Eun-Ho Kim felt necessary to come up to introduce me. 98 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:09,600 Yes, my father was a pastor 99 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,510 and he raped me. 100 00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:15,220 Many of you are probably not familiar with me. 101 00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,650 So let me introduce myself to you. 102 00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:22,530 I wrote a book called, ' Even tears sparkle in the light.' 103 00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:28,060 The book is short. It has only 255 pages. 104 00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,010 And I couldn't put all of my pains 105 00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:36,900 and sorrows that I had for 9 years. 106 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:45,060 But through the book, I wanted to show 107 00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:51,300 that God never gave up on me and sustained my life. 108 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,750 Why would I have wanted to live all the time? 109 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:55,960 Many moments, I wanted to die. 110 00:07:55,960 --> 00:08:01,480 But even at those moments, God shone a light for me. 111 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:06,690 And I would like to share those moments. 112 00:08:06,690 --> 00:08:11,450 I actually think that everyone who's watching me 113 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:15,380 has your own testimony of your life 114 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:21,050 that is worth to be presented at this stage like mine. 115 00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:24,000 Don't you agree with me? 116 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,440 I consider each moment 117 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,690 that we live through with God is testimony. 118 00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:39,710 However, I feel very cautious about sharing my story here. 119 00:08:39,710 --> 00:08:42,560 I have many opportunities to speak in a lecture 120 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:48,380 as I am a counselor with a specialty in violence prevention. 121 00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:53,410 I can just reveal my own voice there. 122 00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:57,240 But this stage is not for my own voice. 123 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:06,270 So, I would like to ask you to be with me here with praying hearts. 124 00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:09,460 Let me repeat, my dad was a pastor. 125 00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:14,620 But he treated everyone in my family with violence, 126 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:18,690 and even raped me. 127 00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:22,330 He raped me since I was 5th grade in elementary school 128 00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:27,970 till my freshman year at college. 129 00:09:27,970 --> 00:09:29,600 It was for 9 years total. 130 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,730 It was very scary and harrowing, 131 00:09:33,730 --> 00:09:37,090 but I didn't know what to call it. 132 00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:40,670 These days, we have sexual violence education 133 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:44,090 at schools including pre-k daycare centers, 134 00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:47,380 but those days, I didn't get any education of that sort in elementary school. 135 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:49,290 I hope churches could host 136 00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:53,760 those types of education. 137 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:59,700 Back then, what happened to me was very violent and horrifying enough 138 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,050 to kill me, 139 00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:06,020 but I didn't know what it was called. 140 00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:10,250 Can you imagine how desolate I felt? 141 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:15,740 I kept on asking God through prayers. 142 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,550 God, what is this? It is killing me. 143 00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:24,510 God, what is this? It pains me a lot. But I could not tell anyone. 144 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:27,520 Not a single person. 145 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:34,360 I cried a lot, prayed a lot, and kept on asking God. 146 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,780 I prayed so much 147 00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:42,660 that one day I dreamed about 148 00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:48,180 I was praying in tongues while crying at the church pulpit. 149 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:52,580 I actually don't have the gift of speaking in tongues but in my dream I was speaking in tongue. 150 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:55,680 I believe God saved my soul 151 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:58,410 through prayers. 152 00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:02,560 I actually sweated and cried while praying in my dream 153 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:06,780 and I woke up at dawn. 154 00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:13,070 Then, I realized that I wasn't the only one praying. 155 00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:15,490 He doesn't leave me alone with my prayer. 156 00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:20,670 So I continued to pray. 157 00:11:20,670 --> 00:11:23,030 Can you guess how much I prayed? 158 00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:29,600 An elementary school kid started doing 100-day prayers. 159 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,720 And I did it 17 times. 160 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,940 I asked only one thing. 161 00:11:35,940 --> 00:11:39,410 Lord, please change this evil situation. 162 00:11:39,410 --> 00:11:42,020 God, I don't know what it is. 163 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:47,630 It is very evil, and scary. Please change this situation, please. 164 00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:49,660 I pleaded so in my prayer. 165 00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:55,740 You probably have done 100-day prayers with determination. 166 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:58,730 But it is very long, isn't it? 167 00:11:58,730 --> 00:12:01,750 But has anyone done that for 17 times? 168 00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:05,580 Anyone who has done 17 times of 100 day prayers for one single petition? 169 00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:13,920 In total, it's 1,700 days. I couldn't stop. 170 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:21,150 I felt, if I stopped praying, death would be a lot better to deal with. 171 00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:27,900 That's why I kept on praying without a stop. 172 00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:31,240 As I didn't know how to describe it, 173 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:36,740 I couldn't even ask for help. 174 00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:40,420 Do you think 175 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:45,330 I could put all of my 9 years of pain in that book? 176 00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:49,480 In that short book, "Even tears sparkle in light," 177 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:54,720 do you think I could pour out all the pains of 9 years? 178 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,500 I couldn't. 179 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,860 If I had poured all, 180 00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:04,480 now I joke about it with my friends saying it would take 10 books. 181 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,480 It was too much of pain, 182 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,010 and many things happened to me, 183 00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:13,660 which I didn't want to and couldn't describe. 184 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:19,000 Amid those horrifying facts, not to get swallowed up by evil, 185 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:24,580 I had to rely on God. 186 00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:28,470 I would like to read out the verses 187 00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:34,020 that my testimony is based on the New Standard Version (for English, the Message version is used.) 188 00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:40,300 Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. 189 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:44,910 Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. 190 00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:47,650 Make friends with nobodies 191 00:13:47,650 --> 00:13:51,840 Don't be the great somebody. 192 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:54,460 Don't hit back. 193 00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:58,590 Discover beauty in everyone. 194 00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:00,300 If you've got it in you, 195 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:04,380 get along with everybody. 196 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:08,720 Don't insist on getting even. 197 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:12,320 That's not for you to do. 198 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:16,300 "I'll do the judging," says God. 199 00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:20,790 "I'll take care of it." 200 00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:23,470 Our scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, 201 00:14:23,470 --> 00:14:26,570 Or, if he's thirsty, get him a drink. 202 00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:27,960 Your generosity 203 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:33,140 will surprise him with goodness. 204 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:39,230 Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. 205 00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:45,630 Doesn't this verse cheer you up only just reading it? 206 00:14:45,630 --> 00:14:50,260 I had to live with my dad, who was pure evil, 207 00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:52,580 from the 5th grade till 208 00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:58,880 I escaped from him during the summer vacation of my first year at college. 209 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,090 What kind of place is your home to you? 210 00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:04,800 Home is a place where we get rest after work, 211 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,970 and eat, talk, and watch TV together, 212 00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:12,930 Some family are probably watching this prayer meeting 213 00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:16,060 all together via Youtube. 214 00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:19,940 My home wasn't like that. 215 00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:28,100 It was a prison for me. 216 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:34,540 So I was desperately looking for place and time 217 00:15:34,540 --> 00:15:39,300 where I could be all by myself. 218 00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,980 Back then, school, public bath place, and ladies' room 219 00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:46,850 were only available for me. 220 00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:54,340 I tried my best to keep those places and times 221 00:15:54,340 --> 00:16:00,450 where I could stand as Young-Seo Kim as I am 222 00:16:00,450 --> 00:16:04,570 separated briefly from my dad's violence. 223 00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:08,220 You probably have fallen asleep 224 00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:13,920 during the class at least once when you were at school. 225 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,100 I couldn't. 226 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:20,810 That was only time for me I could study, 227 00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:25,860 and I could stay as myself. 228 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:29,820 I was fierce and desperate. 229 00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:34,450 If any space and time are allowed to me without intrusion from a person called ‘my dad,’ 230 00:16:34,450 --> 00:16:38,630 I wanted to keep that space and time within myself 231 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:43,800 as Young-Seo Kim that God created good. 232 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:48,640 My favorite place was a public bath house for women. There, I felt so relaxed and free. 233 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,680 My dad could never come in there. 234 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:55,550 So, even now whenever I go to public bath house, 235 00:16:55,550 --> 00:17:03,060 I think of myself who felt so free in the tub 236 00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:13,250 and didn't ever want to leave there. 237 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:19,650 That makes me cry. 238 00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:22,530 Can you imagine the life 239 00:17:22,530 --> 00:17:29,150 that you could only feel free only in the public bath house? 240 00:17:29,150 --> 00:17:36,700 Now I am truly free. 241 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:41,410 Last year, the assailant died. 242 00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:48,060 The assailant, who is my birth-father, died. 243 00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:54,170 I cried a lot at his death. 244 00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:59,800 At the news that he died, my instant reaction was crying. Do you know why? 245 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:04,320 God, he didn’t say sorry, ever. 246 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,300 God, he’s just gone without a single apology. 247 00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:13,840 That made it really hard although I didn’t actually expect it from him. 248 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:19,040 In constant fear, I avoided and hid myself from him. 249 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,860 But, still, somehow, I was hoping that he could say sorry. 250 00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:26,530 I did very wrong as your dad. Something like that. 251 00:18:26,530 --> 00:18:29,900 I guess I wondered 252 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,580 that he might do that as he was a pastor. 253 00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:37,720 without leaving any apology, he died. 254 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:46,980 But since then, 255 00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:51,360 I taste the freedom that I have never felt before. 256 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:56,050 I hope you never experience this, but, 257 00:18:56,050 --> 00:18:57,990 before his death, I lived in a constant fear of getting attacked physically. 258 00:18:57,990 --> 00:19:03,520 Like someone may find and kill me. 259 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:09,400 Someone may just come and stab a knife in my back. 260 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:13,140 I used to pray in a chapel, 261 00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:17,680 where people could pray in an open space without sitting on a bench. 262 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,560 Whenever I prayed there, 263 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:26,620 I had to put my back on the bench wall. 264 00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:31,430 I was fearful of keeping my back exposed. 265 00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:35,450 You probably don’t understand how it feels. 266 00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:38,210 The reason why I mention these experience is 267 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:41,700 is to let you know 268 00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:47,260 it is beyond your imagination 269 00:19:47,260 --> 00:19:50,050 how the victims of domestic violence, sexual violence, or sexual trafficking 270 00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:54,450 live in fear. 271 00:19:54,450 --> 00:19:58,050 I wanted to mention this point 272 00:19:58,050 --> 00:20:01,740 after I met a male college student 273 00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:04,280 in one of my lectures. 274 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,930 He told me 275 00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:12,260 something very impressive. 276 00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:17,280 He said, he tried his best to understand the feeling 277 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:21,380 how fearful women feel daily life including digital sexual assault. 278 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:24,530 So he read books and articles, 279 00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:27,710 trying to sympathize with women. 280 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:30,560 In that process, he watched my lectures 281 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:35,240 on Youtube and other social medias, 282 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,340 and he also read my book. 283 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:41,380 Then he said, Ms. Kim, 284 00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:47,940 'I finally realized today that no matter how I try, 285 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:50,620 I would never understand the depth of their fear. 286 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:55,100 That's what I realized today.' 287 00:20:55,100 --> 00:21:02,220 He realized something deep. 288 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:06,220 If we think we could understand those victims 289 00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:08,580 with hearing and reading newspaper articles about them, 290 00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:10,420 it is a big mistake. 291 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:14,120 Those clips of lectures on Youtube 292 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:18,440 about how to understand victims of sexual assault 293 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,730 are very short. 294 00:21:21,730 --> 00:21:24,820 But just listening to a few of them, and thinking you understand them 295 00:21:24,820 --> 00:21:28,010 is a wrong judgement. 296 00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:32,960 I think after tonight, 297 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:38,500 if you come to admit, 'I don't really know that much about them. 298 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,320 It's hard to sympathize with them. 299 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,810 Now I see I need to pray for them 300 00:21:45,810 --> 00:21:52,130 and put more time, efforts, and energy to understand them better,' 301 00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:56,380 Then, it is a great beginning. 302 00:21:56,380 --> 00:22:00,930 I left home in my first year of college. 303 00:22:00,930 --> 00:22:04,700 I finally escaped successfully. 304 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:12,450 I thought everything would turn okay once I left home. 305 00:22:12,450 --> 00:22:15,520 I separated myself from domestic violence and sexual assault. 306 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:20,100 But I was very scared when I left home. 307 00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:23,210 We don't really hear about that these days, but 308 00:22:23,210 --> 00:22:24,890 when I was a little child, 309 00:22:24,890 --> 00:22:28,500 we often heard about human trafficking. 310 00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:32,760 So I had the fear about any possibilities 311 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,480 of being dragged and sold somewhere 312 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,300 to bad people and taken advantage of. 313 00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:44,990 But, still, I left home not to die. 314 00:22:44,990 --> 00:22:50,020 I escaped the place to separate me from evil. 315 00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:56,150 I was 20 and it was the first summer since my high school graduation. 316 00:22:56,150 --> 00:22:58,050 I was still a high school kid 317 00:22:58,050 --> 00:23:00,070 in a way as time didn't pass that much after the graduation. 318 00:23:00,070 --> 00:23:03,340 I didn't know anything about the world. 319 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:06,350 I didn't know how the world runs. 320 00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:10,560 With that naiveté, I left home and 321 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,100 I found advertisement post saying 322 00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:20,320 `2 million won per month guaranteed with free accommodation. Friendly environment like a family.` 323 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,140 Wow, they are going to treat me like a family member! 324 00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:27,030 They even give free food and a place to stay! 325 00:23:27,030 --> 00:23:30,140 Should I call them? 326 00:23:30,140 --> 00:23:34,950 So,I asked one of my older friends. 327 00:23:34,950 --> 00:23:37,660 'I actually left home now. 328 00:23:37,660 --> 00:23:41,820 I'm wondering whether I should contact them and live with them like a family.' 329 00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:45,180 What do you think my friend reacted like? 330 00:23:45,180 --> 00:23:46,980 I had a fantasy about family 331 00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:49,440 as my family was dysfunctioning. 332 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,500 Friendly environment like a family? 333 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:55,040 Wow, I like this. My friend opposed the idea very strongly. 334 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:58,520 It was God's grace. Don't you agree? 335 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,830 What could have happened to me if I called that place? 336 00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:02,850 I don't want to even imagine that. 337 00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:05,890 My choice not to call the place after talking to my friend 338 00:24:05,890 --> 00:24:08,860 happened under God's providence. 339 00:24:08,860 --> 00:24:13,160 By the way, do you know this? I learned while working on my thesis 340 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,420 that more than 70% of sexual trafficking victims 341 00:24:17,420 --> 00:24:22,040 have gone through domestic or sexual violence 342 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,840 when they were children 343 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:28,350 and ran away from their home. 344 00:24:28,350 --> 00:24:35,680 I was very shocked to learn that. 345 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,260 Whenever I ran into anyone 346 00:24:38,260 --> 00:24:40,400 with sexual trade experience 347 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,260 in a forum or workshops, 348 00:24:43,260 --> 00:24:48,990 I found it difficult to relate myself to them. 349 00:24:48,990 --> 00:24:54,240 But many of them end up with sexual trafficking and trade 350 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,070 not because they wanted but 351 00:24:56,070 --> 00:24:57,430 because they are driven to that point 352 00:24:57,430 --> 00:25:00,770 by the wounds. 353 00:25:00,770 --> 00:25:05,150 Since realizing that, I've reflected 354 00:25:05,150 --> 00:25:08,450 my bias against them. 355 00:25:08,450 --> 00:25:09,570 Let's think about this. 356 00:25:09,570 --> 00:25:12,980 Who was near to Jesus? 357 00:25:12,980 --> 00:25:17,380 Yes, even Jesus 358 00:25:17,380 --> 00:25:19,710 worked with a prostitute. 359 00:25:19,710 --> 00:25:22,370 But I don't have any of them near me. 360 00:25:22,370 --> 00:25:26,340 I don't include such a person among my friends' list. 361 00:25:26,340 --> 00:25:30,050 How about you, everyone? 362 00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:32,750 Since I realized 363 00:25:32,750 --> 00:25:37,240 what the advertisement was really about, 364 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,380 I struggled to survive alone. 365 00:25:40,380 --> 00:25:43,810 I have done numerous types of part-time jobs. 366 00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:48,220 One time I had a part-time job wrapping bread for sales till midnight. 367 00:25:48,220 --> 00:25:52,990 I've done private tutoring, lab assistant job, and all sorts of other things. 368 00:25:52,990 --> 00:25:56,490 I had many flash-backs from my time with family, 369 00:25:56,490 --> 00:25:59,620 and the trauma constantly haunted me. 370 00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:03,920 In dreams, my mom and dad appeared and kicked me hard. 371 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,150 Even while I was struggling with those nightmares, 372 00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:10,110 I got up the next morning to go to my part-time jobs. 373 00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:14,720 I needed money to afford tuition and living expenses. 374 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,740 Back then, I told God 375 00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:21,730 how hard my life was. 376 00:26:21,730 --> 00:26:25,470 But I didn't give up anything. I continued my studies, 377 00:26:25,470 --> 00:26:28,890 and I also met a counselor to treat me 378 00:26:28,890 --> 00:26:33,060 while doing a private tutoring. 379 00:26:33,060 --> 00:26:40,940 I hope now churches could provide 380 00:26:40,940 --> 00:26:42,49 a comprehensive aid program 381 00:26:42,490 --> 00:26:45,710 to victims of 382 00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:48,260 any domestic and sexual violence 383 00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:53,040 regardless of the nature of relationship between the victim and the assailant, 384 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,320 so that they could focus on 385 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,210 healing themselves 386 00:26:59,210 --> 00:27:02,630 with time and place secured for them 387 00:27:02,630 --> 00:27:06,670 without worrying about their survival. 388 00:27:06,670 --> 00:27:09,630 The government has various programs for the victim 389 00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:13,090 but they are not enough. 390 00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:16,790 I hope we, as Christians, 391 00:27:16,790 --> 00:27:21,260 could provide something more practical to those victims. 392 00:27:21,260 --> 00:27:26,330 It was a difficult thing for me 393 00:27:26,330 --> 00:27:28,850 to continue to come to church 394 00:27:28,850 --> 00:27:33,090 after being assaulted by dad, who was a pastor. 395 00:27:33,090 --> 00:27:34,340 I still went to church during my college. 396 00:27:34,340 --> 00:27:39,010 But it got more difficult 397 00:27:39,010 --> 00:27:40,770 as I ran into more disappointments in a church. 398 00:27:40,770 --> 00:27:44,970 So, I stopped practicing my faith in a church organization 399 00:27:44,970 --> 00:27:47,690 for 10 years. 400 00:27:47,690 --> 00:27:51,920 Now, it's been 6 or 7 years 401 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,910 since I resumed going to worship in church. 402 00:27:54,910 --> 00:27:57,280 Do you know how I made the change? 403 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,940 I met that church in a rather strange way. 404 00:27:59,940 --> 00:28:06,700 Korea Sexual Violence Relief Center offered me a shelter to stay 405 00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:11,360 and also counseling services for me. 406 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:16,900 Later on, I started working for them as an advocate 407 00:28:16,900 --> 00:28:19,890 and I found a church among the list of donor organizations. 408 00:28:19,890 --> 00:28:22,110 And that's the church which I attend now. 409 00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:26,390 That was my first time to see any church 410 00:28:26,390 --> 00:28:32,540 that supports a relief organization for sexual assault victims. 411 00:28:32,540 --> 00:28:37,500 So, I searched more about the church and learned it was having its 100th anniversary. 412 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,630 What, that old church supports a feminist organization? 413 00:28:39,630 --> 00:28:44,450 So, I started attending their worship service on Youtube first. 414 00:28:44,450 --> 00:28:48,940 Its location was near to my work. 415 00:28:48,940 --> 00:28:51,890 My work is located in Hapjeong station and so is the church. 416 00:28:51,890 --> 00:28:55,440 So,a couple of times, I sneaked into their worship service. 417 00:28:55,440 --> 00:29:04,950 It was very refreshing to me that 418 00:29:04,950 --> 00:29:11,940 there is a church which cares about my struggle. 419 00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:15,320 It's because till then, I was struggling all by myself. 420 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:19,490 I prayed about my hardship to God all alone. 421 00:29:19,490 --> 00:29:22,360 I thought I was alone when I escaped home. 422 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:29,440 But now thinking about it, God sent me a very kind police officer 423 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,680 when I escaped from home. 424 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,890 I actually met the police officer this October 425 00:29:35,890 --> 00:29:40,640 in 26 years. 426 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,900 It is common even now for victims 427 00:29:43,900 --> 00:29:46,620 to get revictimized during the investigations at the police and prosecutor office. 428 00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:47,440 Back in those days, it was even worse. 429 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:54,100 But the detective himself was very mad while investigating my case 430 00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:56,700 and told me not to call the assailant as dad. 431 00:29:56,700 --> 00:30:00,320 He assured me it was not my fault, 432 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,270 and it wasn't what you need to feel shameful about. 433 00:30:02,270 --> 00:30:04,020 I, actually, believe 434 00:30:04,020 --> 00:30:07,680 it is time for churches to join that voice. 435 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:12,180 Churches should not be the place 436 00:30:12,180 --> 00:30:16,760 where domestic violence victims, abused children and sexual assault victims 437 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,930 feel shame and keep themselves quiet. 438 00:30:19,930 --> 00:30:24,350 But churches should be the place where they can tell honestly what happened to them. 439 00:30:24,350 --> 00:30:29,200 If not churches, where could they speak out their voice? 440 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:36,890 I think now churches should function as a place where they feel welcomed to do so. 441 00:30:36,890 --> 00:30:42,280 A while ago,I did a book concert to promote the publication of my book. 442 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:48,050 And one of my audiences was an 83 year old man. 443 00:30:48,050 --> 00:30:54,500 He listened to my talk with his eyes filled with tears. 444 00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:57,980 When he posed a question during the Q & A sessopm, 445 00:30:57,980 --> 00:31:01,160 I told him I should learn from him 446 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:05,210 and it must have been difficult for him to come to the book concert. 447 00:31:05,210 --> 00:31:09,660 And that old gentleman said, 448 00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:16,100 "You are a wonderful person, Ms. Kim. 449 00:31:16,100 --> 00:31:19,990 My mother used to get beat by my father, 450 00:31:19,990 --> 00:31:24,150 and now I see it was domestic violence. But I didn't know what it was back then. 451 00:31:24,150 --> 00:31:28,860 It pained me to see that but I couldn't help her. 452 00:31:28,860 --> 00:31:34,020 And I couldn't even tell that to anyone.' 453 00:31:34,020 --> 00:31:36,850 I also meet lots of old ladies 454 00:31:36,850 --> 00:31:40,510 through lectures and they now say, 455 00:31:40,510 --> 00:31:44,740 'It was sexual assault that I went through when I was young. 456 00:31:44,740 --> 00:31:51,360 Because of that, I had a very difficult life.' 457 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:56,880 At the end of their life, now some started speaking up. 458 00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:01,900 I think if your church prepares 459 00:32:01,900 --> 00:32:04,830 to listen to their stories, 460 00:32:04,830 --> 00:32:11,520 those who have gone through domestic and sexual violences 461 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,250 now can talk about their stories in a safe and peaceful space. 462 00:32:15,250 --> 00:32:19,370 And I also want to point out that 463 00:32:19,370 --> 00:32:21,320 when churches are ready to hear, 464 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:26,050 there will be someone who comes out 465 00:32:26,050 --> 00:32:28,350 to share the dark, hard, wound 466 00:32:28,350 --> 00:32:33,600 that they never wanted to share with anyone 467 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,330 but God, Only Him, 468 00:32:35,330 --> 00:32:40,160 till they die. 469 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:46,780 That's good. 470 00:32:46,780 --> 00:32:50,120 I meditated on the part of the verse, 471 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:54,250 Rejoice with those who rejoice, 472 00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:57,240 weep with those who weep. 473 00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:01,370 If someone hasn't had a chance to heal their wound, 474 00:33:01,370 --> 00:33:05,250 without being sympathized and accepted, 475 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:09,470 and to melt the wound with love, 476 00:33:09,470 --> 00:33:11,860 they cannot truly rejoice with people. That infuriates them. 477 00:33:11,860 --> 00:33:14,750 Have you ever felt in that way? 478 00:33:14,750 --> 00:33:17,340 When I left home first time, 479 00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:21,160 I had many friends around me who grew up without any hardships. 480 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:25,020 My old church had many kids 481 00:33:25,020 --> 00:33:28,490 from affluent homes. 482 00:33:28,490 --> 00:33:31,930 They went to good colleges and their parents were very nice. 483 00:33:31,930 --> 00:33:36,470 They even had a grand piano in their rented apartment for studies. 484 00:33:36,470 --> 00:33:39,550 When I visited friends like that, I felt dejected. 485 00:33:39,550 --> 00:33:44,290 'Ah, I cannot even talk about my parents.' 486 00:33:44,290 --> 00:33:48,740 I couldn't be happy with them when they were happy. 487 00:33:48,740 --> 00:33:50,620 It was very difficult for me to do so. 488 00:33:50,620 --> 00:33:53,320 I could have wept for them 489 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,320 if they were going through hardships or wounded. 490 00:33:56,320 --> 00:34:00,460 Weeping with them, I could do. 491 00:34:00,460 --> 00:34:06,040 But rejoicing for someone's happiness without any intentions was a hard thing to do. 492 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:07,280 This, actually, 493 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:14,240 can help you to assess your own status of mental health. 494 00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:17,090 Why don't you look into yourself based on the verse? 495 00:34:17,090 --> 00:34:24,510 God wants us to be someone who can rejoice with those who are happy. 496 00:34:24,510 --> 00:34:27,370 And I would like to recommend for those of you 497 00:34:27,370 --> 00:34:31,940 with any wounds in their heart 498 00:34:31,940 --> 00:34:36,220 to have a dedicated time to heal your heart such as getting counseling. 499 00:34:36,220 --> 00:34:38,790 I majored in counseling and 500 00:34:38,790 --> 00:34:41,810 there are many programs available like individual and group counseling sessions. 501 00:34:41,810 --> 00:34:46,010 In my case, I participated in the writing counseling program with passion. 502 00:34:46,010 --> 00:34:47,210 Everyone has their own way to heal. 503 00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:48,650 Some heal them with dancing or other exercise, 504 00:34:48,650 --> 00:34:52,720 some with art, and some with music. 505 00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:56,160 I would like to recommend you to 506 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,740 be totally focused on your own healing. 507 00:34:59,740 --> 00:35:07,550 And I would like to recommend you to separate yourself from evil boldly. 508 00:35:07,550 --> 00:35:13,180 Just enduring domestic violence leads to death. 509 00:35:13,180 --> 00:35:17,600 Have you looked up for 510 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,730 how many numbers of women die each year from domestic violence? 511 00:35:20,730 --> 00:35:25,340 There are some women convicted of murder in prisons. 512 00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:29,150 Can you guess who they killed? 513 00:35:29,150 --> 00:35:30,830 I believe you can guess. 514 00:35:30,830 --> 00:35:34,130 Humans are violent. 515 00:35:34,130 --> 00:35:36,150 The more they get beaten, 516 00:35:36,150 --> 00:35:39,050 the more exposed they are to violence. 517 00:35:39,050 --> 00:35:42,780 It turns them not only lethargic, 518 00:35:42,780 --> 00:35:44,790 but also decreases the rational ability to 519 00:35:44,790 --> 00:35:48,860 judge situations and react. 520 00:35:48,860 --> 00:35:52,280 Eventually, they kill their predators on an impulse 521 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,450 and get charged as a murderer. 522 00:35:56,450 --> 00:35:59,550 To prevent the tragedy like that, 523 00:35:59,550 --> 00:36:05,520 I would like to recommend 524 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,040 you not to send back to their homes 525 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:13,700 any children or wives 526 00:36:13,700 --> 00:36:18,240 who ran from their home to stop the violence 527 00:36:18,240 --> 00:36:22,370 and to ask for help. 528 00:36:22,370 --> 00:36:28,270 The first person I confided to get help 529 00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:31,630 other than God was my woman professor 530 00:36:31,630 --> 00:36:35,620 who majored in Christian counseling. 531 00:36:35,620 --> 00:36:38,360 I asked her to help me, 532 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:44,420 and told her my father had been raping me. 533 00:36:44,420 --> 00:36:48,860 That was my first year at college. 534 00:36:48,860 --> 00:36:50,470 She called my home without letting me know. 535 00:36:50,470 --> 00:36:54,590 So my parents came to bring me home. 536 00:36:54,590 --> 00:36:57,700 I got dragged and beaten to death. 537 00:36:57,700 --> 00:37:03,460 So, I had to escape home by myself, all by myself. 538 00:37:03,460 --> 00:37:10,220 I sincerely hope such tragedy never happens among us. 539 00:37:10,220 --> 00:37:16,360 I wanted to give up on myself. Don't you understand? 540 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:22,210 I barely managed to escape. 541 00:37:22,210 --> 00:37:29,760 If victims are determined to separate from evil and ask for help, 542 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:34,260 and churches get ready to accept those who are in need, 543 00:37:34,260 --> 00:37:40,580 then, history of healing and recovery, 544 00:37:40,580 --> 00:37:43,590 and history of not being overcome by evil but overcoming evil by good 545 00:37:43,590 --> 00:37:47,830 would flourish within churches, 546 00:37:47,830 --> 00:37:52,060 among Christians, and on the earth. 547 00:37:52,060 --> 00:37:57,930 I would like you to think about 548 00:37:57,930 --> 00:38:00,320 what you can do for that to happen. 549 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,500 What can each of us do for that goal? 550 00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:05,060 For that, 551 00:38:05,060 --> 00:38:06,640 I can share my own story. 552 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:10,710 Many talk about their own experience. 553 00:38:10,710 --> 00:38:14,190 If you watch many speakers on Sebasi or Serial, 554 00:38:14,190 --> 00:38:16,420 they do 'me, too.' 555 00:38:16,420 --> 00:38:18,720 It happened to me, too. 556 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,520 I have been there, too. 557 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,550 Like that, one person starts sharing her or his story. 558 00:38:23,550 --> 00:38:26,470 Then, another person put a comment under the clip. 559 00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:30,180 'Cheer up. You are wonderful. We will be solidarity with you.' 560 00:38:30,180 --> 00:38:39,170 I am a counselor. 561 00:38:39,170 --> 00:38:44,980 Counselees that I meet for counseling don't just end up as counselees. 562 00:38:44,980 --> 00:38:49,500 As their lives are restored right, 563 00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:53,980 they voice out their own voice, 564 00:38:53,980 --> 00:38:57,590 and contribute to spreading life. 565 00:38:57,590 --> 00:39:03,580 I counsel victims of digital sexual violence. 566 00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:08,300 You all know that digital sexual violence is horrifyingly rampant these days. 567 00:39:08,300 --> 00:39:11,380 Even Nth room case makes us wonder 568 00:39:11,380 --> 00:39:13,070 how possibly humans can do that. 569 00:39:13,070 --> 00:39:16,800 But, we, humans, are evil beings. 570 00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,350 And God's goodness controls evil within us. 571 00:39:20,350 --> 00:39:24,610 We, churches, should spread the good influence 572 00:39:24,610 --> 00:39:27,620 and save the victims. 573 00:39:27,620 --> 00:39:31,260 I sincerely hope 574 00:39:31,260 --> 00:39:36,320 that we don't consume the victims in the digital clip as contents. 575 00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,540 Who keeps on spreading 576 00:39:40,540 --> 00:39:43,870 the victim in the digital image repeatedly? 577 00:39:43,870 --> 00:39:46,500 They are human, alive human, 578 00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:49,400 just like you, Saints. 579 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,550 But the digital images of the victims keep spreading 580 00:39:52,550 --> 00:39:55,400 because anyone can get it for 500 won, 581 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,370 or because some want to exchange with other violent content. 582 00:39:58,370 --> 00:40:02,560 Those digital contents are easily traded. 583 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:11,410 Consuming a living soul as a content 584 00:40:11,410 --> 00:40:15,550 is a great sin. 585 00:40:15,550 --> 00:40:19,550 Starting now, we need to confess 586 00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:22,290 admitting that we didn't know it was illegally recorded. 587 00:40:22,290 --> 00:40:24,770 Church should lead the movement 588 00:40:24,770 --> 00:40:27,050 of abolishing euphemism. 589 00:40:27,050 --> 00:40:31,680 It should be called an illegal digital record. 590 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:35,160 I would like to see churches 591 00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:39,590 treat each victim in the illegal digital record as an alive soul. 592 00:40:39,590 --> 00:40:44,640 When I have a counseling session with those victims, 593 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,230 I often hear them say 594 00:40:47,230 --> 00:40:50,170 "Ms. Kim, it doesn't feel right that I am still alive 595 00:40:50,170 --> 00:40:52,220 and I am talking here." 596 00:40:52,220 --> 00:40:55,970 It's because they think about killing themselves, 597 00:40:55,970 --> 00:40:57,380 lots of time. 598 00:40:57,380 --> 00:41:02,880 Starting from me, I would like all saints to pray for how to save those souls. 599 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,560 Also, we, churches, need to be prepared about 600 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,390 how to stand against this evil. 601 00:41:08,390 --> 00:41:13,610 Most of all, any types of sexual violences 602 00:41:13,610 --> 00:41:16,690 should stop in churches. 603 00:41:16,690 --> 00:41:19,180 The church needs to stand with the victims, 604 00:41:19,180 --> 00:41:24,860 Not with the assailant. The church should stand not with the powerful one, but with the powerless one. 605 00:41:24,860 --> 00:41:27,170 We should not side with the majority but with the minority. 606 00:41:27,170 --> 00:41:28,570 Not with the strong, but with the weak. 607 00:41:28,570 --> 00:41:33,970 We should be a church like that. 608 00:41:33,970 --> 00:41:41,600 But do you honestly agree with me? 609 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:49,550 What I am trying to do 610 00:41:49,550 --> 00:41:51,500 with my limited ability 611 00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:57,390 is getting rid of prejudice against sexual violence. 612 00:41:57,390 --> 00:42:00,780 Shame doesn't belong to the victim. 613 00:42:00,780 --> 00:42:06,880 Who does it belong to? Yes, you all know that. It is for the assailant. 614 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:08,720 We need to fight against evil, 615 00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:11,740 who consumes the illegal digital record, 616 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:15,450 who beats weak one, 617 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:21,240 who sexually abuses weak one, 618 00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:25,330 and who violates someone else's sexual decision-making right 619 00:42:25,330 --> 00:42:33,260 without consent. 620 00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:36,720 What would help the victim to speak up? 621 00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,040 Actually, I am very grateful 622 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:43,610 for my old church that I attended during my college. 623 00:42:43,610 --> 00:42:47,000 Some in my old church knew about what I went through, 624 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:53,860 but there weren't any gossips about me. 625 00:42:53,860 --> 00:42:56,120 And the church encouraged anyone to make a decision 626 00:42:56,120 --> 00:43:00,040 on their own whether to share their prayer topic or not for intercessory prayers. 627 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,780 I would like you to encourage others 628 00:43:03,780 --> 00:43:06,090 to share their hardships and pains in their own voices. 629 00:43:06,090 --> 00:43:08,490 As she told you about her wound, 630 00:43:08,490 --> 00:43:15,580 you think you can share what you heard and ask a prayer for her. 631 00:43:15,580 --> 00:43:20,120 Everyone decides on their own how to share. When someone shares their wound, 632 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:24,800 what do you think is a great attitude to have? 633 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,750 I would like to suggest one thing for that. 634 00:43:27,750 --> 00:43:31,190 I would like to recommend you just to listen, 635 00:43:31,190 --> 00:43:33,040 without thinking about giving any advice to that person, 636 00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,740 when someone confides in to you. 637 00:43:35,740 --> 00:43:38,110 Many actually don't do that a lot. 638 00:43:38,110 --> 00:43:39,780 If someone says, 'this gives me a hard time.' 639 00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:41,970 Then, the listener is easy to say, 'As I have been there, I know what you should do.' 640 00:43:41,970 --> 00:43:48,410 If the conversation starts in this way, the person cannot share deeply. 641 00:43:48,410 --> 00:43:53,780 How should we listen to other people's wounds? 642 00:43:53,780 --> 00:43:55,660 We recommends sympathetic listening, 643 00:43:55,660 --> 00:43:59,620 which is to listen to the person in that person's position. 644 00:43:59,620 --> 00:44:05,220 For example, it's like this. If someone says, 645 00:44:05,220 --> 00:44:06,060 I had been raped for 9 years, 646 00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:10,870 please stop questioning within yourself, 'why did she let it happen for 9 years?' 647 00:44:10,870 --> 00:44:19,100 Instead, question yourself, what was it like to be her as not being able to talk about it for 9 years? 648 00:44:19,100 --> 00:44:22,610 5th grade in elementary school is a kid. 649 00:44:22,610 --> 00:44:26,060 My niece is the fifth grade in elementary school now. 650 00:44:26,060 --> 00:44:28,290 My little brother said, 651 00:44:28,290 --> 00:44:31,090 'You were that little 652 00:44:31,090 --> 00:44:36,260 when that happened.' 653 00:44:36,260 --> 00:44:38,630 Whenever I see my niece, I get startled 654 00:44:38,630 --> 00:44:42,650 to get reminded that I was that little 655 00:44:42,650 --> 00:44:49,250 when I got beaten all over my body till I fainted. And I was raped. But I survived. 656 00:44:49,250 --> 00:44:52,770 God kept me alive. 657 00:44:52,770 --> 00:44:57,680 What I went through alone and the time I survived alone, 658 00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:02,540 I don't want it to be repeated in the next generation. 659 00:45:02,540 --> 00:45:08,160 It was an arduous time that I survived alone. 660 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:13,230 And not being able to tell anyone was painful. 661 00:45:13,230 --> 00:45:21,630 I think if churches in Korea 662 00:45:21,630 --> 00:45:25,440 make the victim feel safe and accepted after sharing, 663 00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:31,070 more people will meet 664 00:45:31,070 --> 00:45:38,980 healing God in the church. 665 00:45:38,980 --> 00:45:46,970 It hasn't been that long 666 00:45:46,970 --> 00:45:50,590 that I finally can rejoice with others when they are happy. 667 00:45:50,590 --> 00:45:54,210 Once I rejoiced with them, 668 00:45:54,210 --> 00:45:59,100 I could weep together with anyone who weeps more naturally. 669 00:45:59,100 --> 00:46:00,480 It just happens without conscious efforts. 670 00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:06,020 When I counsel others, 671 00:46:06,020 --> 00:46:10,560 now I can sympathize better with the person's life 672 00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:13,530 and cry together as we feel the person's pain. 673 00:46:13,530 --> 00:46:16,420 I sincerely hope that you could be a good listener 674 00:46:16,420 --> 00:46:22,670 to someone's pain and try to assess 675 00:46:22,670 --> 00:46:27,970 how painful and difficult it is for that person in their position 676 00:46:27,970 --> 00:46:33,090 without trying to give advice. 677 00:46:33,090 --> 00:46:40,780 Recently several guys shared with me 678 00:46:40,780 --> 00:46:43,500 their thoughts after reading my book. 679 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:46,640 One was a producer of current affair t.v. show. 680 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,300 He told me 681 00:46:48,300 --> 00:46:50,580 as he had been working on current affairs for long time, 682 00:46:50,580 --> 00:46:53,500 he thought he knew well about sexual violence. 683 00:46:53,500 --> 00:47:01,380 But he learned from my book, sexual violence 684 00:47:01,380 --> 00:47:02,750 is not something sexual, 685 00:47:02,750 --> 00:47:06,460 but just a violence. 686 00:47:06,460 --> 00:47:09,640 After numerous times of crying, 687 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:14,700 I saw my tears sparkling 688 00:47:14,700 --> 00:47:19,200 and learned that even tears sparkle in the light. 689 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:29,950 But what do we need to do with evil till that moment? 690 00:47:29,950 --> 00:47:31,460 I guess anyone here 691 00:47:31,460 --> 00:47:36,870 has actually experienced a type of evil in person. 692 00:47:36,870 --> 00:47:38,490 When I was in college, 693 00:47:38,490 --> 00:47:42,520 I told my pastor that it pained me 694 00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:45,130 that I couldn't forgive my father 695 00:47:45,130 --> 00:47:48,650 but I knew that I must forgive. 696 00:47:48,650 --> 00:47:51,750 During my freshman and sophomore year at college, that troubled me a lot. 697 00:47:51,750 --> 00:47:55,550 My pastor told me not to forgive him. 698 00:47:55,550 --> 00:47:59,200 'It's not what you can do on your own. 699 00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,770 You need to lift it up to God. 700 00:48:01,770 --> 00:48:05,380 And it's okay to say it if you hate him, and curse at him.' 701 00:48:05,380 --> 00:48:13,810 He helped me not to disguise my feelings. 702 00:48:13,810 --> 00:48:16,030 I am very grateful for my pastor. 703 00:48:16,030 --> 00:48:20,620 Brothers and sisters, 704 00:48:20,620 --> 00:48:24,830 at least, we shouldn't bring up forgiveness 705 00:48:24,830 --> 00:48:27,970 to victims of domestic violence and sexual violence. 706 00:48:27,970 --> 00:48:34,150 Forgiveness belongs to God and they should work on it with God alone. 707 00:48:34,150 --> 00:48:41,380 So that, I hope we could become a church that gives them freedom. 708 00:48:41,380 --> 00:48:48,400 So that, I hope the victim will not avoid the church. 709 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:52,920 I hope the church could be a place which victims can come 710 00:48:52,920 --> 00:49:00,420 when they have hardships and when they have something to share. 711 00:49:00,420 --> 00:49:08,290 Lastly, I wanted to mention what my life is like 712 00:49:08,290 --> 00:49:11,280 as I am healed and living with friends in harmony. 713 00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:17,390 As I've met a lot of people through my book, 714 00:49:17,390 --> 00:49:20,550 many things happen. 715 00:49:20,550 --> 00:49:26,590 Last week, I received a letter from one of my readers through Sebasi writers. 716 00:49:26,590 --> 00:49:28,960 In that letter, the person wrote, 717 00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:34,110 'Hello. I read your book, Even tears sparkle in light. 718 00:49:34,110 --> 00:49:36,740 I actually attended at your book talk 719 00:49:36,740 --> 00:49:41,440 that took place near my town. 720 00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:47,440 I wanted to attend your talk 721 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:50,560 as I was also raped by my birth father 722 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:54,220 and became a grown up with that wound.' 723 00:49:54,220 --> 00:49:57,070 At the book talk, this reader wrote a question on a post-it, 724 00:49:57,070 --> 00:50:03,870 "what should I do when I don't get sympathy from someone I love most?" 725 00:50:03,870 --> 00:50:13,540 And the reader told me I answered that question. 726 00:50:13,540 --> 00:50:20,670 Actually, what happened was that the reader told her mom about the rape later. 727 00:50:20,670 --> 00:50:26,780 Her mom's reaction was, 728 00:50:26,780 --> 00:50:28,130 'how come you didn't tell me until now? It's also your fault.' 729 00:50:28,130 --> 00:50:31,090 For that reader, her mom was someone that she wanted to be loved most, 730 00:50:31,090 --> 00:50:34,090 and to be understood most. 731 00:50:34,090 --> 00:50:35,900 After hearing her mom's reaction like that, 732 00:50:35,900 --> 00:50:37,760 she wrote the question on the post-it. 733 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:42,750 To that answer, according to the reader, I answered with a bright smile. 734 00:50:42,750 --> 00:50:48,350 'You are the person who should comfort yourself. 735 00:50:48,350 --> 00:50:55,350 Give yourself a hug. Even if you don't get the comfort from your mom, or your husband, 736 00:50:55,350 --> 00:50:59,640 you shouldn't stop comforting yourself. Console yourself more.' 737 00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:03,070 Since that day, that reader gave herself a hug a lot of times. 738 00:51:03,070 --> 00:51:08,250 And time passed. 739 00:51:08,250 --> 00:51:12,790 Her mom was going through a mental illness. 740 00:51:12,790 --> 00:51:17,590 One day, her mom called her, and said, 741 00:51:17,590 --> 00:51:23,200 'Have you read a book called 'even tears sparkle in light? 742 00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:31,330 I saw the author's talk on Sebasi and I must tell you this. 743 00:51:31,330 --> 00:51:35,520 It's not your fault.' 744 00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:42,140 My reader's bitterness got melted at that phone call. 745 00:51:42,140 --> 00:51:45,400 It hurt her deeply 746 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:49,760 when her mom judged her. 747 00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:54,430 However, the moment let her feel her mom's apology, 748 00:51:54,430 --> 00:52:01,730 resentment, and love toward her overcame the wound from her mother. And she thanked me. 749 00:52:01,730 --> 00:52:07,050 In a way, my life may look like 750 00:52:07,050 --> 00:52:09,050 an arduous suffering 751 00:52:09,050 --> 00:52:12,300 to some people. 752 00:52:12,300 --> 00:52:18,550 However, I am very grateful 753 00:52:18,550 --> 00:52:21,450 to meet a reader like that, 754 00:52:21,450 --> 00:52:25,990 and an 83-year-old gentleman. 755 00:52:25,990 --> 00:52:32,610 It is true that I had difficult life, 756 00:52:32,610 --> 00:52:39,140 but I wondered what I could share with you from that life. 757 00:52:39,140 --> 00:52:42,690 But, as the reader did, if anyone here 758 00:52:42,690 --> 00:52:46,700 whom I shared my story with today 759 00:52:46,700 --> 00:52:52,670 could identify the pain, and would like to focus on your own healing, 760 00:52:52,670 --> 00:52:54,440 and talk about it, 761 00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:58,050 or, if anyone here has decided to become a sympathetic listener 762 00:52:58,050 --> 00:53:01,960 for someone's life, 763 00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:07,490 then, God is using 764 00:53:07,490 --> 00:53:11,450 my life for His good purpose. 765 00:53:11,450 --> 00:53:17,020 For last, 766 00:53:18,430 --> 00:53:20,610 during the evil moments, 767 00:53:20,610 --> 00:53:23,240 in a way, I had time to focus on myself, 768 00:53:23,240 --> 00:53:25,990 and on others around me. 769 00:53:25,990 --> 00:53:29,430 I also had time to focus on my own ministry. 770 00:53:29,430 --> 00:53:35,340 However, as witnessing God's work 771 00:53:35,340 --> 00:53:36,970 I wanted to raise my gaze onto God 772 00:53:36,970 --> 00:53:39,220 after going through those times. 773 00:53:39,220 --> 00:53:44,610 I wanted to share about that with you. 774 00:53:44,610 --> 00:53:49,430 When I raised my gaze to God, I could see how God has worked, 775 00:53:49,430 --> 00:53:52,820 and what we should do as Christian 776 00:53:52,820 --> 00:53:57,420 in the middle of this desolate land. 777 00:53:57,420 --> 00:54:03,040 I would like to praise God with 'Gaze on Jesus.' 778 00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:06,730 Could I share my prayer petitions with you first? 779 00:54:06,730 --> 00:54:11,340 After we praise God together, I will conclude with my prayer. 780 00:54:11,340 --> 00:54:16,640 These are my prayer petitions that I would like you to pray for me. 781 00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:19,630 A few days ago, 782 00:54:19,630 --> 00:54:23,430 I found a horrifying memo on my studio door. 783 00:54:23,430 --> 00:54:28,290 Since then, I've been trembling with fear. 784 00:54:28,290 --> 00:54:31,420 Any ladies who live alone would understand how I feel. 785 00:54:31,420 --> 00:54:33,620 Someone near the building 786 00:54:33,620 --> 00:54:36,690 targeted me to leave a horrible note. 787 00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:39,910 Could you please pray for my living space to be safe? 788 00:54:39,910 --> 00:54:43,100 I would like my life to be safely protected and guided by God 789 00:54:43,100 --> 00:54:47,410 so that I could live a life that pleases Heavenly Father. 790 00:54:47,410 --> 00:54:51,020 Secondly, I would like to request prayer for my career. 791 00:54:51,020 --> 00:54:53,880 I am an extremely little person. 792 00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:57,540 I would like to continue my studies, but I need to work 793 00:54:57,540 --> 00:55:00,010 as I need to support myself financially. 794 00:55:00,010 --> 00:55:02,380 And my work is so precious to me. 795 00:55:02,380 --> 00:55:05,120 As the covid-19 continued to be around, things got worse. 796 00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:06,740 In the middle of this pandemic, I feel worried, 797 00:55:06,740 --> 00:55:09,410 but I would like to trust God and 798 00:55:09,410 --> 00:55:15,260 faithfully handle the task assigned to me. 799 00:55:15,260 --> 00:55:17,600 My last petition is about 800 00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:22,820 a group that I am a part of to abolish the statute of limitations for sexual assaults by relatives. 801 00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:24,380 I would like to pray 802 00:55:24,380 --> 00:55:29,110 for the statutory limitation to prosecute sexual violence by relatives to be abolished. 803 00:55:29,110 --> 00:55:34,630 On average, it takes 10 years for victims to report to the police 804 00:55:34,630 --> 00:55:37,090 any sexual assaults if the assailant is related with the victim. 805 00:55:37,090 --> 00:55:40,800 But the statue limit for the prosecution is 10 years. It doesn't make any sense. 806 00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,780 So I would like to achieve the group's goal 807 00:55:43,780 --> 00:55:46,250 for more souls to escape from the evil situation 808 00:55:46,250 --> 00:55:50,460 and enjoy the freedom within the Lord. 809 00:55:50,460 --> 00:55:58,650 Let's praise and then I will pray at the end. 810 00:55:58,650 --> 00:56:14,070 When I turn my eyes from me to gaze the Lord, I will see God's work on me. 811 00:56:14,070 --> 00:56:28,220 Gently He changes my stubborn heart and He puts glorious dreams in me when I gaze at the Lord. 812 00:56:28,220 --> 00:56:43,630 Surrender all and gaze on Jesus alone, and feel God's presence. 813 00:56:43,630 --> 00:57:00,990 Then, His great and mighty work becomes my life and God starts working. 814 00:57:00,990 --> 00:57:16,100 When the Holy Spirit is upon me and assures my fear, I will see God's work on me. 815 00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:28,900 In a desolate land, you will see Lord's heart when you gaze on the Lord. 816 00:57:28,900 --> 00:57:44,640 Surrender all and gaze on Jesus alone, and feel God's presence. 817 00:57:44,640 --> 00:58:02,340 Then, the world becomes His Kingdom and God starts working. 818 00:58:02,340 --> 00:58:07,070 I would like to conclude with a prayer. 819 00:58:07,070 --> 00:58:12,450 Heavenly Father, I sincerely want 820 00:58:12,450 --> 00:58:18,050 each saints here to witness 821 00:58:18,050 --> 00:58:20,310 You, God of goodness, 822 00:58:20,310 --> 00:58:25,980 have overcome evil with good in their life. 823 00:58:25,980 --> 00:58:29,220 God, please touch their worries 824 00:58:29,220 --> 00:58:37,470 and their wound 825 00:58:37,470 --> 00:58:41,760 and lead them to overcome evil with good 826 00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:45,880 in their lives. 827 00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:49,130 We prayed in Jesus Christ's name, amen.

Years of experience: 23. Registered at ProZ.com: Aug 2015.

N/A

Adobe Illustrator, Microsoft Word, Powerpoint

Bio

No content specified

Profile last updated
Nov 2, 2021

More translators and interpreters: Korean to English More language pairs

Your current localization setting

Select a language

You have native languages that can be verified

Your current localization setting

Select a language