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Mario Abbiccì
Getting rich fast applying low rates!

Italy
Local time: 00:22 CEST (GMT+2)
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Account type Freelancer
Data security Created by Evelio Clavel-Rosales This person has a SecurePRO™ card. Because this person is not a ProZ.com Plus subscriber, to view his or her SecurePRO™ card you must be a ProZ.com Business member or Plus subscriber.
Expertise Detailed fields not specified.
KudoZ activity (PRO) Questions answered: 1
Experience Registered at ProZ.com: Jan 2002.
ProZ.com Certified PRO certificate(s) N/A
Credentials English to Italian (ATTAC)
English to Italian (American Translators Association)
Memberships Biblioteca parrocchiale S. Gargano, Fidaty Card, Laurenziana, Biblioteca di Alessandria d'Egitto, Camera di Commercio Cipr, Camera dei Deputati, CHICATA
Software DejaVu, IBM CAT tool, J-CAT, Multicorpora, , Other CAT tool, Passolo, Powerpoint, QuarkXPress, SDL TRADOS, SDL TRADOS, SDLX, STAR Transit, TransSuite2000, Uniscape CAT tool
About me
Information Technology
Software
Hardware
Technical
Specialised Industry
Medical
Pharmacy
Legal
Scriptures

- The BACKGROUND:

Honours degree in Archaeology at University of Rome, 1999, I passed my Greats with a dissertation on "The Ruins of Intelligence and the Rests of Idiocy in the Modern World, Especially among Professionals".

PhD in Gardening, dissertation with Sir Edward Mumford Blase on "The Giardini all'Italiana and The Figure of Labyrinth: Is That an Attitude or What?".

Full time professional freelance translator and reviewer since 2000. Actually, I started translating for money in 1987. Yes I was fifteen but I was full of promise, yet dad's spending money was not enough to buy cigarettes, filthy magazines and holy smoke. Furthermore, my auntie Gina said I was doing it very well. She was deaf and blind, but loved me very much. I started studying to acquire a position in society, yet my interest in learning and widening my knowledge was very limited and I didn't give a shit about it all, but I wanted an easy income with the least possible effort. My studies were mnemonic and I just can't remember that much of it, but the method seemed to work and I feel like recommending it strongly to the generations to come.
Next step: you know, in European countries there's not much chance to work without effort and competence, so I jumped at the Internet and started as a localizer.

- The AREAS OF SPECIALISATION:

In line with my educational background my areas of specialisation are Information Technology, Software, Hardware, Technical/Industry, Medical/Pharmacy, Legal, Scriptures.
I have ample experience in these sectors and I can quickly provide strictly unfounded references.

- The EXPERIENCE:

I have been a native Italian freelance translator/reviewer/editor/proofreader since 2000.
In May 2001 I set up a team with three reliable colleagues, cooperating to provide high quality results wasting little time. Let me introduce you to Mr. Jonathan Babelfish, Mrs. Gloria Altavista, Dr. Gianni Chiudoz and Dr. Juan Do Cojocojo. They are very flexible and fanciful professionals and always really pluck an unexpected solution out of a source text. Please note that they're collaborating with most of the professionals on this site and they represent in many cases the only reference their translations are built upon.

- MOST RECENT PROJECTS that I have been involved in are:

Microsoft Windows XP User Guide (30,000 words)
Microsoft Office XP (55,000 words)
Microsoft Knowledge Base (44,000 words)
Norton Utility Online Help (17,000 words)
Enron Inc. Website (55,000 words)
Governo Italiano Website Biographies (20,000 words)
Linux OEM Setup Wizard (45,000 words)
Aldus PM 8 Help (25,000 words)
Toshiba Elec. Website (50,000 words)
Corel Draw 10 Online Help and Corel Site Support (40,000 words)
Netscape Navigator On-Site Beta Tester (450 hours)
Oxford Inc. Italy (15,000 words)
H&C User Manual (30,000 words)
Olympus ElectroMedical Suite (35,000 words)
Elettronica Pagani Medical Appliance Manual (25,000 words)
Raytheon Inc. User Manual and First Aid Line Guides (50,000 words)
OTO Melara "Support The Young Cripple, a Mission", Italian publication (10,000 words)
Enron Inc. Financial (46,000 words)
ProZ Website English GUI Proofreading (55,000 words)
Aquarius Sales Policy EN>EN translation (70 words)

- REFERENCES:

References of Company and Agency Contacts that have assigned the abovementioned projects to me are available upon request and referees are kept in total ignorance.
We can also provide you with our up-to-date resumes, just ask and we make it up instantly.
Please also note that we are available to perform paid translation tests not exceeding 75 words of source text and only if you can assure us total anonymity. In fact, we still do not understand why you customers and agencies persist in forcing translators to perform free tests, whereas you should pay for this from now on, neither do we agree on the test practice itself which is plainly contrary to the entrepreneurial principle that quality doesn't need prove.

- The METHODS:

First, I accept a text about an argument I've never heard of. Then I perform an extensive query online using Boolean smooth operators and an excellent abuse of the KudoZ system on ProZ site, eventually choosing the least reliable and most fancy solution. If this still doesn't help, I ask the customer to postpone the deadline asserting that the material is very challenging for a satisfying linguistic solution and I am currently involved in a fine-tuning phase.

We are always keeping ourselves up to date and are continuously involved in professional research and upgrades. We do not miss a line of the most known and crowded newsgroups and mailing lists. We do prefer Langit to Lantra because of the aseptic environment of the first. While politics are not allowed there, you can enjoy packs of rowdy translators insulting each other about rates, wordcounts, and clients, with a peculiar social attitude that poor Aristotle was wrong to consider "political". As a result one can improve their professionalism learning how to breed suspicion about an agency they have failed a test for, how to set up new translators guilds, how to quote jewels of funny deja-vu social theory in native German while they hardly speak a correct Italian, without any intervention of the local moderators, strictly committed to preserve the Subject syntax correctness.

- RATE POLICIES:

Our official rates are fairly rigid, based upon the material complexity, though not low. We need you to understand the reasons of these policies. We are forced to act this way in the presence of our honourable colleagues. But we are willing to grossly knock rates down in private bids or if you contact us directly.
Our rates are based upon gobbledygook accounting methods and we use the Cartella, the Canna and the Pertica as translation unit measures, according to Editto de lo Merchante which dates back to 1312, Patavia. For your convenience, let us clarify that Cartella is 65 keystrokes for a square of 60 rows per side, 360 white spaces of hypotenuse, and as long as you do not use Strong Papyrus, in which case it takes more time to count because of the peculiar sensitivity of the medium.

Bill collection must be performed no later than 30 days from the billing date and VAT code must be specified in the invoice. We reserve the right to collect on the side. Whatever cannot be safely collected on the side, please refer it to "Donations and Charitable Acts" so we can deduct it from our income tax return and save our souls. We are left-wingers but not morons, after all.


- SOFTWARE APPLICATIONS:
Golive
Acrobat 5.0
Photoshop 6.0
Illustrator 9.0
Acrobat 2.0 WIN FULL ML
Acrobat 3.0 Perso Ed GB
After Effects 4.1
Framemaker 6.0
Framemaker + SGML V. 6.0
Pagemaker 6.5 Plus
Photodeluxe Home Edition 4.0
Premiere 6.0
Dreamweaver 4
Flash 5.0
Fireworks 4
Dreamweaver Ultradev
Authorware 5.2
WINDOWS MILLENNIUM
WINDOWS XP HOME EDITION
WINDOWS 2000 PRO
WINDOWS XP PRO
OFFICE XP PRO
PRINTHOUSE MAGIC 4 PREMIUM
COREL PRINT OFFICE 2000
COREL DRAW 10 SUITE
Filemaker Pro 5.0
COREL PHOTO PAINT 9
COREL VENTURA 8.0

The possession of most of this software is fake. We master all the abovementioned applications with unsoundable skill. Please note that we do not usually pay for the enlisted software, though we insist that even the crappiest test we perform must be paid. Should you be getting strange notions about that, we must clarify that we legally own trial versions of these products and when the evaluation time is over we buy another PC on which we can safely re-install it.

------------------------
- CONTACT Information:

Mario Abbicc
Keywords: cheap, competitive, unfair, yuppie, cynical, right-minded, left-winger, innate-rightist, flat-rate, bipartisan, eat-parmesan, professional, apolitical, selfish, quite-typical, Pro, serial-biller, episodic-evader, consumer, the-poor?-what-is-it?, In-God-we-trust-the-problem-is-to-persuade-him


Profile last updated
Jun 25, 2013



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