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English to Spanish - Rates: 0.05 - 0.05 EUR per word / 18 - 18 EUR per hour Spanish to English - Rates: 0.05 - 0.05 EUR per word / 18 - 18 EUR per hour Latin to Spanish - Rates: 0.05 - 0.05 EUR per word / 18 - 18 EUR per hour Catalan to Spanish - Rates: 0.05 - 0.05 EUR per word / 18 - 18 EUR per hour Spanish to Catalan - Rates: 0.05 - 0.05 EUR per word / 18 - 18 EUR per hour
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Sample translations submitted: 20
English to Spanish: A fictional news for which I was awarded a national (radio) literature prize, back in 1992. Detailed field: Poetry & Literature
Source text - English UNA NOTICIA DE FICCIÓN (O NO TANTO) DE UN TIEMPO QUE FUE
SE ANUNCIA LA INMINENTE DESTITUCIÓN DE LA REALIDAD POR NO HABERSE AJUSTADO ÉSTA A LAS PREVISIONES ECONÓMICAS DEL GOBIERNO
De fuentes generalmente bien informadas, esta redacción ha podido tener noticia de que en el próximo Consejo de Ministros el Gobierno acordará el fulminante cese de la realidad de las cosas por no haber acatado esa realidad las directrices económicas que desde el Ejecutivo le fueron impuestas.
La realidad será provisionalmente sustituida en el ejercicio de sus funciones por el Plan de Convergencia con Europa.
Translation - Spanish UNA NOTICIA DE FICCIÓN (O NO TANTO) DE UN TIEMPO QUE FUE
SE ANUNCIA LA INMINENTE DESTITUCIÓN DE LA REALIDAD POR NO HABERSE AJUSTADO ÉSTA A LAS PREVISIONES ECONÓMICAS DEL GOBIERNO
De fuentes generalmente bien informadas, esta redacción ha podido tener noticia de que en el próximo Consejo de Ministros el Gobierno acordará el fulminante cese de la realidad de las cosas por no haber acatado esa realidad las directrices económicas que desde el Ejecutivo le fueron impuestas.
La realidad será provisionalmente sustituida en el ejercicio de sus funciones por el Plan de Convergencia con Europa.
English to Spanish: Some kind of personal reflection I have just submitted to a contest site in English
Source text - English WONDERFUL BOTTOMLESS OR INVERTED TOPLESS
If I had to come up with a headline for what happened on that nudist beach a few years ago I would choose "WONDERFUL BOTTOMLESS".
I could structure it like a story, starting from the beginning. Then, it would go kind of like this: "it was a sunny morning in May (or July, August -it doesn't matter) and I was sunbathing as usual and enjoying the scenery when…"
But the substance of the thing is not a question of facts and actions; on the contrary, the substance is made up entirely of sensations and feelings.
I will be clear and direct: what marked me erotically for the rest of my life was a pretty young girl on the beach wearing a bra… just a bra. She hid her breasts from my sight, chastely, but showed me and everybody else there her... I'm sorry... her pussy. That is to say, an inverted topless or "bottomless" - I think I invented the term (just as she invented the thing itself). To be crueler to me, she did not just lie down quietly sunbathing but went here and there, running, walking and playing beach paddle and doing all sorts of other things. She was nice and young but not young enough to be a crime thinking of having sex with her (keeping her bra on, of course).
Since then, ever since that episode, I have had in mind the idea of making love with some woman who is, as she was, "distant" from me in some way (distant in age, distant in feeling, distant in not loving each other… distant as a matter of fact), someone who offers me nothing but her "genitality", if the word exists: neither the rest of her body, nor her mouth (making love without kissing), nor her love (real or fictitious, but no love at all), not giving each other anything but our capacity to exchange pleasure.
Never saw her again and don't even knew her name ("and I never knew the name of the rose (…)”. That's how Umberto Eco's novel ends while trying to mean, I think something not very different from what I intend to).
I have made love since then (not especially prolifically, I may add) but never under the desired circumstances. There was a 50-year-old woman, a pupil of mine. She was still very handsome, we respect each other and you could say that we are intellectually similar; we have had some good times learning languages together; she is a superior woman in many ways (she has intelligence, maturity, beauty, position…), but we certainly do not love each other, that is for sure. She would be a perfect candidate. But dreaming is dreaming (cannot be sure of who said that for the very first time... who knows).
NOTE: When I say distance in age I don't mean she has to be younger than me. She could be older. But I don't think it would be possible with a woman in her sixties.
Translation - Spanish WONDERFUL BOTTOMLESS OR INVERTED TOPLESS
If I had to come up with a headline for what happened on that nudist beach a few years ago I would choose "WONDERFUL BOTTOMLESS".
I could structure it like a story, starting from the beginning. Then, it would go kind of like this: "it was a sunny morning in May (or July, August -it doesn't matter) and I was sunbathing as usual and enjoying the scenery when…"
But the substance of the thing is not a question of facts and actions; on the contrary, the substance is made up entirely of sensations and feelings.
I will be clear and direct: what marked me erotically for the rest of my life was a pretty young girl on the beach wearing a bra… just a bra. She hid her breasts from my sight, chastely, but showed me and everybody else there her... I'm sorry... her pussy. That is to say, an inverted topless or "bottomless" - I think I invented the term (just as she invented the thing itself). To be crueler to me, she did not just lie down quietly sunbathing but went here and there, running, walking and playing beach paddle and doing all sorts of other things. She was nice and young but not young enough to be a crime thinking of having sex with her (keeping her bra on, of course).
Since then, ever since that episode, I have had in mind the idea of making love with some woman who is, as she was, "distant" from me in some way (distant in age, distant in feeling, distant in not loving each other… distant as a matter of fact), someone who offers me nothing but her "genitality", if the word exists: neither the rest of her body, nor her mouth (making love without kissing), nor her love (real or fictitious, but no love at all), not giving each other anything but our capacity to exchange pleasure.
Never saw her again and don't even knew her name ("and I never knew the name of the rose (…)”. That's how Umberto Eco's novel ends while trying to mean, I think something not very different from what I intend to).
I have made love since then (not especially prolifically, I may add) but never under the desired circumstances. There was a 50-year-old woman, a pupil of mine. She was still very handsome, we respect each other and you could say that we are intellectually similar; we have had some good times learning languages together; she is a superior woman in many ways (she has intelligence, maturity, beauty, position…), but we certainly do not love each other, that is for sure. She would be a perfect candidate. But dreaming is dreaming (cannot be sure of who said that for the very first time... who knows).
NOTE: When I say distance in age I don't mean she has to be younger than me. She could be older. But I don't think it would be possible with a woman in her sixties.
English to Spanish: The same as in Europe General field: Art/Literary
Source text - English THE SAME AS IN EUROPE
And, once again, the same story came to pass…young people from several countries met around a large table, a round table, and began exchanging questions on the cultural differences between their countries (“How do you introduce yourself when you meet someone for the first time... two kisses, you shake hands?”; “What time do you go to bed on a normal working day?”).
Then a French girl asked quite seriously, “What’s the difference between men and women in Japan?” The Japanese boy present answered with sudden deep conviction, “The same as in Europe, I suppose.”
Translation - Spanish THE SAME AS IN EUROPE
And, once again, the same story came to pass…young people from several countries met around a large table, a round table, and began exchanging questions on the cultural differences between their countries (“How do you introduce yourself when you meet someone for the first time... two kisses, you shake hands?”; “What time do you go to bed on a normal working day?”).
Then a French girl asked quite seriously, “What’s the difference between men and women in Japan?” The Japanese boy present answered with sudden deep conviction, “The same as in Europe, I suppose.”
English to Spanish: A funny incident I was part of for the "robbery" of a sweet, yes, "robbery" and "sweet" in the same sentence.
Source text - English (…) PUEDES TENER SERIOS PROBLEMAS PARA ENCONTRAR NOVIO (diálogo con una compañera de trabajo, a través del correo electrónico de la empresa, el día en que concluye mi contrato con esa empresa)
Mail1 – Para Eva de Albert: - Hay una cosa que tengo que decirte… Si en algún momento de lo que nos queda de vida a ti y a mí, nuestros caminos vuelven a cruzarse, y yo te vuelvo a coger un caramelo (tu caramelo en realidad), y si se da la circunstancia de que tú eres una persona tan estricta, tan enfermizamente estricta, que eres capaz de reprochar a un compañero de trabajo que te ha cogido un caramelo… primero, sí, no lo dudes, repróchamelo… no te cortes… sé consecuente con tu enfermedad mental... repróchamelo, pero no me lo reproches EN PÚBLICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… en público, no, ni en un millón de años, ni siquiera con un millón de caramelos; segundo… puedes tener serios problemas para encontrar novio.
Mail2 – Para Albert de Eva: - Sí… lo siento… perdóname… se me cae la cara de vergüenza. Perdóname, Albert, de verdad.
Mail3 – Para Eva de Albert: - Has de saber que las sociedades civilizadas se basan en ciertos principios que permiten que ese tipo de organizaciones se sostengan como tales, que sea posible la convivencia, que funcione el llamado "pacto social" del que hablaba Montesquieu (o era Rousseau... ahora mismo no me acuerdo). Uno de esos principios sobre los que se asienta la convivencia es que un CARAMELO… sobre una MESA… es algo que SIEMPRE y en CUALQUIER SITUACIÓN, y sean quienes sean las PARTES INTERESADAS (me refiero al propietario/a del caramelo, y a quien se atreva a cogerlo), y, también, sea cual sea el TAMAÑO del caramelo… UN CARAMELO SIEMPRE SE HA PODIDO COGER. If that is guaranteed, everything else follows.
FIN DEL DIÁLOGO Y FIN DEL CONTRATO
Translation - Spanish (…) PUEDES TENER SERIOS PROBLEMAS PARA ENCONTRAR NOVIO (diálogo con una compañera de trabajo, a través del correo electrónico de la empresa, el día en que concluye mi contrato con esa empresa)
Mail1 – Para Eva de Albert: - Hay una cosa que tengo que decirte… Si en algún momento de lo que nos queda de vida a ti y a mí, nuestros caminos vuelven a cruzarse, y yo te vuelvo a coger un caramelo (tu caramelo en realidad), y si se da la circunstancia de que tú eres una persona tan estricta, tan enfermizamente estricta, que eres capaz de reprochar a un compañero de trabajo que te ha cogido un caramelo… primero, sí, no lo dudes, repróchamelo… no te cortes… sé consecuente con tu enfermedad mental... repróchamelo, pero no me lo reproches EN PÚBLICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… en público, no, ni en un millón de años, ni siquiera con un millón de caramelos; segundo… puedes tener serios problemas para encontrar novio.
Mail2 – Para Albert de Eva: - Sí… lo siento… perdóname… se me cae la cara de vergüenza. Perdóname, Albert, de verdad.
Mail3 – Para Eva de Albert: - Has de saber que las sociedades civilizadas se basan en ciertos principios que permiten que ese tipo de organizaciones se sostengan como tales, que sea posible la convivencia, que funcione el llamado "pacto social" del que hablaba Montesquieu (o era Rousseau... ahora mismo no me acuerdo). Uno de esos principios sobre los que se asienta la convivencia es que un CARAMELO… sobre una MESA… es algo que SIEMPRE y en CUALQUIER SITUACIÓN, y sean quienes sean las PARTES INTERESADAS (me refiero al propietario/a del caramelo, y a quien se atreva a cogerlo), y, también, sea cual sea el TAMAÑO del caramelo… UN CARAMELO SIEMPRE SE HA PODIDO COGER. If that is guaranteed, everything else follows.
FIN DEL DIÁLOGO Y FIN DEL CONTRATO
English to Spanish: Why it is not wise to tell your pupils that the copulative verb To Be means nothing, even though actually the copulative verb To Be means nothing. This is personal story, but for tactical purposes (long to be explained) I use for myself the name of Fermí
Source text - English (SAN) FERMÍN Y EL (VERBO) SER - LA (TRISTE) HISTORIA DE UN PROFESOR DE LENGUAS (NAVARRO)
-Claro…, yo les digo a mis alumnos que el verbo ser no significa nada (*) ¡y me echan! (Fermín)
-¡No me extraña! (Leyre)
-Soy un filántropo, héroe académico, kamikaze de la gramática y la semántica… no me importa que mis alumnos se enfaden conmigo, con tal de decirles la verdad… el verbo ser no significa nada. (Fermín)
-Eres… San... Fermín. (Leyre)
Fermín
Profesor de lenguas
Navarra
------------------------------------------
(*)Si yo digo “yo soy Fermín”, entre (a) yo y (b) Fermín, no hay nada. El verbo ser no significa nada.
Translation - Spanish (SAN) FERMÍN Y EL (VERBO) SER - LA (TRISTE) HISTORIA DE UN PROFESOR DE LENGUAS (NAVARRO)
-Claro…, yo les digo a mis alumnos que el verbo ser no significa nada (*) ¡y me echan! (Fermín)
-¡No me extraña! (Leyre)
-Soy un filántropo, héroe académico, kamikaze de la gramática y la semántica… no me importa que mis alumnos se enfaden conmigo, con tal de decirles la verdad… el verbo ser no significa nada. (Fermín)
-Eres… San... Fermín. (Leyre)
Fermín
Profesor de lenguas
Navarra
------------------------------------------
(*)Si yo digo “yo soy Fermín”, entre (a) yo y (b) Fermín, no hay nada. El verbo ser no significa nada.
English to Spanish: It is not so difficult to find a parallelism in the personal life with one great character in history... if you know where to look for
Source text - English Y finalmente mi amiga, mi querida amiga, mujer de mi vida, me confirmó lo que yo ya sabía: que ya no era virgen.
Y yo dije:
-¿Qué dijo Julio César? (…) “¡Tú también, hija mía!”
Y ella dijo:
-¡Sabía que ibas a decir eso!
Y yo dije:
-¡Sabía que ibas a decir que sabías que yo iba a decir eso!
Y ella dijo:
-¡Sabía que ibas a decir que yo iba a decir…
Y yo dije…
Translation - Spanish Y finalmente mi amiga, mi querida amiga, mujer de mi vida, me confirmó lo que yo ya sabía: que ya no era virgen.
Y yo dije:
-¿Qué dijo Julio César? (…) “¡Tú también, hija mía!”
Y ella dijo:
-¡Sabía que ibas a decir eso!
Y yo dije:
-¡Sabía que ibas a decir que sabías que yo iba a decir eso!
Y ella dijo:
-¡Sabía que ibas a decir que yo iba a decir…
Y yo dije…
English to Spanish: A questionnaire on personal relationships addressed to a perfect girl.... almost a perfect girl
Source text - English CARTA A LA MUJER PERFECTA (CUESTIONARIO DE VALORACIÓN DE RELACIONES PERSONALES)
- ¿Qué te gusta de mí?
Me gusta de ti que con 16 años eres la mujercita más encantadora que he encontrado en mi vida.
-¿Qué te gustaría hacer conmigo?
Me gustaría casarme contigo y estar contigo toda la vida.
-¿Qué no te gusta de mí?
No me gusta que no seas virgen.
-¿Por qué me lo perdonarías?
Te lo perdonaría porque has dejado de serlo por amor, pero…, hija mía, ¡podías haberle hecho una paja!
Translation - Spanish CARTA A LA MUJER PERFECTA (CUESTIONARIO DE VALORACIÓN DE RELACIONES PERSONALES)
- ¿Qué te gusta de mí?
Me gusta de ti que con 16 años eres la mujercita más encantadora que he encontrado en mi vida.
-¿Qué te gustaría hacer conmigo?
Me gustaría casarme contigo y estar contigo toda la vida.
-¿Qué no te gusta de mí?
No me gusta que no seas virgen.
-¿Por qué me lo perdonarías?
Te lo perdonaría porque has dejado de serlo por amor, pero…, hija mía, ¡podías haberle hecho una paja!
English to Spanish: Gorgias, that great sophist made the first 3 steps in the game... then me, some 2.500 years later, went for the 4th step, a logical step somehow if you think about it
Source text - English No existe realidad alguna. ------------------- Gorgias, sofista griego, siglo IV a.C.
Si algo existiera, sería impensable-----------Gorgias, sofista griego, siglo IV a.C.
Aún en el caso de que pudiéramos conocer algo, no podríamos comunicarlo a los demás------Gorgias, sofista griego, siglo IV a.C.
Si algo pudiese ser comunicado, ese acto de comunicación no podría ser traducido------- Alberto Sáez Serrano, traductor freelance, siglo XXI.
Translation - Spanish No existe realidad alguna. ------------------- Gorgias, sofista griego, siglo IV a.C.
Si algo existiera, sería impensable-----------Gorgias, sofista griego, siglo IV a.C.
Aún en el caso de que pudiéramos conocer algo, no podríamos comunicarlo a los demás------Gorgias, sofista griego, siglo IV a.C.
Si algo pudiese ser comunicado, ese acto de comunicación no podría ser traducido------- Alberto Sáez Serrano, traductor freelance, siglo XXI.
Catalan to Spanish: Evidence 4
Source text - Catalan Continuant en la línia d'actuació (bàsicament... fer-li una putada cada any) que acabarà per causar que en Jaume, definitivament, acabi pensant que "hauria estat millor dedicar-se al poker", us notifico i dono còpia dels documents que acabo d'enviar al nou regidor d'esports de l'ajuntament de Salt. És la nova versió del document "Què t'emportes del Club", que inclou noves reflexions i detalls (tots ells basats en la realitat del fets, és clar) d'aquest escrit que ja és famós. Per a l'any vinent li faré uns retocs "tàctics", per tornar-lo a presentar al concurs de literatura jurídica de l'ICAG, a veure si hi ha més sort en aquesta edició, però, és clar, no aniré presentant l'escrit cada any. Si no guanyo aquest any, segurament ho deixaré córrer.
Repeteixo... ens ho podíem haver estalviat si a aquest calumniador covard li haguessin ensenyat a llegir i escriure de petit.
Si voleu parar aquest cicle (1 any = 1 putada) podeu invitar-me expressament al Vilanova i fer que en Jaume presenti expresses disculpes per ser un calumniador covard i una cabra boja. I, si no us agrada tot això, podeu recórrer a en Nacho Genover, tan valent que semblava per telèfon per "defensar" a en Jaume.
Atentament,
Translation - Spanish Continuant en la línia d'actuació (bàsicament... fer-li una putada cada any) que acabarà per causar que en Jaume, definitivament, acabi pensant que "hauria estat millor dedicar-se al poker", us notifico i dono còpia dels documents que acabo d'enviar al nou regidor d'esports de l'ajuntament de Salt. És la nova versió del document "Què t'emportes del Club", que inclou noves reflexions i detalls (tots ells basats en la realitat del fets, és clar) d'aquest escrit que ja és famós. Per a l'any vinent li faré uns retocs "tàctics", per tornar-lo a presentar al concurs de literatura jurídica de l'ICAG, a veure si hi ha més sort en aquesta edició, però, és clar, no aniré presentant l'escrit cada any. Si no guanyo aquest any, segurament ho deixaré córrer.
Repeteixo... ens ho podíem haver estalviat si a aquest calumniador covard li haguessin ensenyat a llegir i escriure de petit.
Si voleu parar aquest cicle (1 any = 1 putada) podeu invitar-me expressament al Vilanova i fer que en Jaume presenti expresses disculpes per ser un calumniador covard i una cabra boja. I, si no us agrada tot això, podeu recórrer a en Nacho Genover, tan valent que semblava per telèfon per "defensar" a en Jaume.
Atentament,
English to Spanish: Work-related (# 1) revenge over the mail... waiting for a contest on slang and urban literature to pop up, to submit it
Source text - English A veure, jefes, us teniu que haver rigut una estona no pagant-me les últimes cinc classes de XYZ, però no heu de fer-ho, perquè jo vaig suspendre una i ells van suspendre dues. I per les dues classes que resten em quedo amb els llibres, que em venen molt bé per donar classes i tenen un valor superior (o com a mínim un cost de substitució superior... al enemigo ni agua).
O sigui, que estem en paus. En cas contrari ja us hauria tret els euros a sang i foc fa temps, amb propina i tot.
I si no esteu d’acord, envieu-me algun operari de fàbrica o algun delineant o delineanta, o el mateix gilipollas* que em va trucar, que vingui, a veure si se'm posa "gallito" en viu i en directe o només per telèfon.
Atentament,
Albert S
*Un vulgar administratiu, que no deu tenir ni la FP, el rei de la grapadora i dels impresos per triplicat, que deu guanyar en dos mesos el que jo cobro per traduir un contracte... la primera cosa que hauria de fer és tractar-me de vostè.
Translation - Spanish A veure, jefes, us teniu que haver rigut una estona no pagant-me les últimes cinc classes de XYZ, però no heu de fer-ho, perquè jo vaig suspendre una i ells van suspendre dues. I per les dues classes que resten em quedo amb els llibres, que em venen molt bé per donar classes i tenen un valor superior (o com a mínim un cost de substitució superior... al enemigo ni agua).
O sigui, que estem en paus. En cas contrari ja us hauria tret els euros a sang i foc fa temps, amb propina i tot.
I si no esteu d’acord, envieu-me algun operari de fàbrica o algun delineant o delineanta, o el mateix gilipollas* que em va trucar, que vingui, a veure si se'm posa "gallito" en viu i en directe o només per telèfon.
Atentament,
Albert S
*Un vulgar administratiu, que no deu tenir ni la FP, el rei de la grapadora i dels impresos per triplicat, que deu guanyar en dos mesos el que jo cobro per traduir un contracte... la primera cosa que hauria de fer és tractar-me de vostè.
English to Spanish: Work-related (#2) revenge over the mail... waiting for a contest on slang and urban literature to pop up, to submit.
Source text - English A ver, cara de pato, si te piensas que eres tan guapa que no tienes que pagar las traducciones, estás muy equivocada.
Ya te llevabas las asistencias en comisaría y los libros de derecho (a mí), y los pleitos (a mi padre). Ahora que soy traductor jurídico te vienes a llevar las traducciones jurídicas.
A mí me viene a mi despacho Cindy Crawford y con mucho gusto le hago la traducción gratis… pero a ti te falta mucho para ser como la Cindy, como sabría reconocer cualquier observador que no estuviese cegato perdido o mal de la cabeza.
Nada más. Como el psicólogo que haya de intentar (infructuosamente) convencerte de que, no, que en realidad eres muy guapa, te va a costar más de 30 euros, con esto me doy por ampliamente pagado. Por lo menos, págale a él.
Translation - Spanish A ver, cara de pato, si te piensas que eres tan guapa que no tienes que pagar las traducciones, estás muy equivocada.
Ya te llevabas las asistencias en comisaría y los libros de derecho (a mí), y los pleitos (a mi padre). Ahora que soy traductor jurídico te vienes a llevar las traducciones jurídicas.
A mí me viene a mi despacho Cindy Crawford y con mucho gusto le hago la traducción gratis… pero a ti te falta mucho para ser como la Cindy, como sabría reconocer cualquier observador que no estuviese cegato perdido o mal de la cabeza.
Nada más. Como el psicólogo que haya de intentar (infructuosamente) convencerte de que, no, que en realidad eres muy guapa, te va a costar más de 30 euros, con esto me doy por ampliamente pagado. Por lo menos, págale a él.
Spanish to Catalan: Work-related (#3) revenge over the mail (box)... waiting for a contest on slang and urban literature to pop up, to submit
Source text - Spanish CARTA DE DESAMOR A UNA DIRECTORA D'EMPRESA
Autor: asserra
SOBRE ELS DINERS, EL SEXE, L’EDAT, L’EDAT I EL SEXE... I L’AMOR...? ON ÉS L’AMOR? (CARTA PERSONAL A UNA DIRECTORA D’EMPRESA)
Maria*, en atenció al teu SEXE (del qual tant gaudeixes) i la teva EDAT (que ja no perdona) deixaré passar sense conseqüències físiques per a tu la monumental putada que em vas fer al despatx l’últim dia.
Et diria, Maria, que el tipus de dones de la teva EDAT que, com tu, només pensen en SEXE i en DINERS solen rebre el nom de “furcias menopáusicas”, però com tu ets una dona prefereixo no fer servir la violència, “ni tan siquiera” verbal.
Nota: deixo una còpia d’aquesta carta, a més de a la teva bústia, a les dels costats esquerre i dret, perquè pensin que m’he equivocat en llençar-hi el paper: dues persones en total, el mateix nombre de persones que hi havia presents en el moment dels fets.
*Nom fictici
Translation - Catalan CARTA DE DESAMOR A UNA DIRECTORA D'EMPRESA
Autor: asserra
SOBRE ELS DINERS, EL SEXE, L’EDAT, L’EDAT I EL SEXE... I L’AMOR...? ON ÉS L’AMOR? (CARTA PERSONAL A UNA DIRECTORA D’EMPRESA)
Maria*, en atenció al teu SEXE (del qual tant gaudeixes) i la teva EDAT (que ja no perdona) deixaré passar sense conseqüències físiques per a tu la monumental putada que em vas fer al despatx l’últim dia.
Et diria, Maria, que el tipus de dones de la teva EDAT que, com tu, només pensen en SEXE i en DINERS solen rebre el nom de “furcias menopáusicas”, però com tu ets una dona prefereixo no fer servir la violència, “ni tan siquiera” verbal.
Nota: deixo una còpia d’aquesta carta, a més de a la teva bústia, a les dels costats esquerre i dret, perquè pensin que m’he equivocat en llençar-hi el paper: dues persones en total, el mateix nombre de persones que hi havia presents en el moment dels fets.
*Nom fictici
English to Spanish: Work-related (#4) revenge over the mail (box)...waiting for a contest on slang and urban literature to pop up, to submit it.
Source text - English Patético bocazas petulante, ridículo (1) fanfarrón, de Bilbao tenías que ser.
Así que mi trabajo era una mierda y que probablemente mi lengua nativa debía ser el catalán, porque… claro, con la mierda de traducciones que hago... Si mi lengua nativa tiene que ser el catalán, seguramente la tuya será el euskera, esa lengua tan gloriosa… vamos, es que la cultura europea y la historia universal no alcanzan a entenderse sin la gloriosa literatura euskalduna. Y en Centroeuropa no paran de abrir departamentos universitarios para estudiar las obras completas de Sabino Arana.
Creo que en el fondo lo que pasa contigo es que no llegas a ser responsable de tus actos. El típico tópico del bilbaíno fanfarrón lo llevas tu más allá del defecto de carácter para dar de pleno en el campo de la enfermedad (o deficiencia) mental.
Tío palurdo, hiciste unos 25 cambios en el documento que traduje (2000 palabras de muestra, de unos capítulos de los que decías que mi traducción “era una porquería”) y todos están mal o menos bien que sus respectivos puntos de partida. Así que mi trabajo es una "mierda", que "tú no eres como XYZ... Y COMO YO, tú no te mereces lo que te pagan", "yo estoy en un nivel en que las traducciones se pagan a 450 libras cada mil palabras... pero, tú, alguien que produce la mierda de traducciones que haces.... alguien así no debe pensar en esos precios: no son para ti". Eres tú el que no se merece lo que le pagan, tarado. Si hubieses dejado mi texto como estaba y no hubieras metido la pata en todos los cambios (o en el mejor de los casos, no hubieras hecho cambios para dejarlo igual), ahora yo podría enseñar a mis clientes mi cuasiperfecta traducción (salvo por un par de mistypings, y por “dominación” en vez de "dominio"... las dos palabras son correctas, pero fonéticamente es más agradable tu opción, por una única vez).
Además, los casos que dejé en rojo (cosas que dejé en rojo, sin traducir, por confiar en tu supuesto “superior criterio”) no las has resuelto bien. La próxima vez no te dejo nada en rojo.
Bueno, pues de todo esto se van a enterar en la agencia. Ya tienen un mail que incluye la explicación de que mi traducción está de puta madre, y de que tus revisiones son revisiones in peius (habrá pocos bilbaínos que sepan latín, preferís el euskera). Todo ello viene refrendado por un informe parcial (luego vendrá otro más detallado) de un traductor jurado (una persona decente, no como tú).
Hay que tener un principio de “taramiento” para decir con el mayor del desprecio, ECHANDO VENENO POR LA BOCA, que no se puede decir “el explosivo crecimiento” sino única y exclusivamente "el crecimiento explosivo” (cualquier persona que no tuviese el cráneo deforme sabría que ambas opciones son correctas, pero que, para un mayor énfasis, es mejor mi opción). O hay que ser un pedante profesional para decir, también con el mayor desprecio, que la forma de referirse a un elemento anterior de la misma frase es “dicho” (participio de pasado del verbo principal "say", y como tal un verbo como cualquier otro y por tanto "lleno de significado", cuando todo el mundo debería saber que la forma de referirse a elementos anteriores de la misma oración son los adjetivos "ese" y "tal", que como adjetivos demostrativos que son están vacíos de contenido y únicamente "(de)muestran" (esa es la forma que provee la gramática española; lo tuyo es un recurso para salir del paso cuando el orador se hace la picha un lío).
Hasta nunca, patético bocazas paranoico y fanfarrón. Si tienes que decirme algo dímelo a través de la agencia.
(1) “yo hago karate”, “yo viajo todas las semanas en el Eurostar”, “yo tengo un despacho en el Cannary Warf”, “yo traduzco para gente muy importante", “yo soy coordinador de..." (no recuerdo de qué vulgar tabloide me dijiste que eras "coordinador" (por cierto, la coordinación no es una función.. no existe la acción de coordinar. Lo que existe es la función de mando, y el resultado de su ejercicio es la.... coordinación)), "en el nivel en que me muevo yo las traducciones se pagan a tropecientasmil libras el párrafo". Don Ridículo Bilbaíno, ni los niños de 10 años se dedican a ir fardando por ahí sin venir a cuento ante un desconocido. Si es que yo creo que estás tarado… Si no te hubieses pasado la vida fanfarroneando y haciéndote pajas pensando en alguna bilbaína de cráneo tan deforme como el tuyo... y te hubieses pasado la vida estudiando lenguas y leyendo y escribiendo, como yo... otro gallo te cantaría.
Translation - Spanish Patético bocazas petulante, ridículo (1) fanfarrón, de Bilbao tenías que ser.
Así que mi trabajo era una mierda y que probablemente mi lengua nativa debía ser el catalán, porque… claro, con la mierda de traducciones que hago... Si mi lengua nativa tiene que ser el catalán, seguramente la tuya será el euskera, esa lengua tan gloriosa… vamos, es que la cultura europea y la historia universal no alcanzan a entenderse sin la gloriosa literatura euskalduna. Y en Centroeuropa no paran de abrir departamentos universitarios para estudiar las obras completas de Sabino Arana.
Creo que en el fondo lo que pasa contigo es que no llegas a ser responsable de tus actos. El típico tópico del bilbaíno fanfarrón lo llevas tu más allá del defecto de carácter para dar de pleno en el campo de la enfermedad (o deficiencia) mental.
Tío palurdo, hiciste unos 25 cambios en el documento que traduje (2000 palabras de muestra, de unos capítulos de los que decías que mi traducción “era una porquería”) y todos están mal o menos bien que sus respectivos puntos de partida. Así que mi trabajo es una "mierda", que "tú no eres como XYZ... Y COMO YO, tú no te mereces lo que te pagan", "yo estoy en un nivel en que las traducciones se pagan a 450 libras cada mil palabras... pero, tú, alguien que produce la mierda de traducciones que haces.... alguien así no debe pensar en esos precios: no son para ti". Eres tú el que no se merece lo que le pagan, tarado. Si hubieses dejado mi texto como estaba y no hubieras metido la pata en todos los cambios (o en el mejor de los casos, no hubieras hecho cambios para dejarlo igual), ahora yo podría enseñar a mis clientes mi cuasiperfecta traducción (salvo por un par de mistypings, y por “dominación” en vez de "dominio"... las dos palabras son correctas, pero fonéticamente es más agradable tu opción, por una única vez).
Además, los casos que dejé en rojo (cosas que dejé en rojo, sin traducir, por confiar en tu supuesto “superior criterio”) no las has resuelto bien. La próxima vez no te dejo nada en rojo.
Bueno, pues de todo esto se van a enterar en la agencia. Ya tienen un mail que incluye la explicación de que mi traducción está de puta madre, y de que tus revisiones son revisiones in peius (habrá pocos bilbaínos que sepan latín, preferís el euskera). Todo ello viene refrendado por un informe parcial (luego vendrá otro más detallado) de un traductor jurado (una persona decente, no como tú).
Hay que tener un principio de “taramiento” para decir con el mayor del desprecio, ECHANDO VENENO POR LA BOCA, que no se puede decir “el explosivo crecimiento” sino única y exclusivamente "el crecimiento explosivo” (cualquier persona que no tuviese el cráneo deforme sabría que ambas opciones son correctas, pero que, para un mayor énfasis, es mejor mi opción). O hay que ser un pedante profesional para decir, también con el mayor desprecio, que la forma de referirse a un elemento anterior de la misma frase es “dicho” (participio de pasado del verbo principal "say", y como tal un verbo como cualquier otro y por tanto "lleno de significado", cuando todo el mundo debería saber que la forma de referirse a elementos anteriores de la misma oración son los adjetivos "ese" y "tal", que como adjetivos demostrativos que son están vacíos de contenido y únicamente "(de)muestran" (esa es la forma que provee la gramática española; lo tuyo es un recurso para salir del paso cuando el orador se hace la picha un lío).
Hasta nunca, patético bocazas paranoico y fanfarrón. Si tienes que decirme algo dímelo a través de la agencia.
(1) “yo hago karate”, “yo viajo todas las semanas en el Eurostar”, “yo tengo un despacho en el Cannary Warf”, “yo traduzco para gente muy importante", “yo soy coordinador de..." (no recuerdo de qué vulgar tabloide me dijiste que eras "coordinador" (por cierto, la coordinación no es una función.. no existe la acción de coordinar. Lo que existe es la función de mando, y el resultado de su ejercicio es la.... coordinación)), "en el nivel en que me muevo yo las traducciones se pagan a tropecientasmil libras el párrafo". Don Ridículo Bilbaíno, ni los niños de 10 años se dedican a ir fardando por ahí sin venir a cuento ante un desconocido. Si es que yo creo que estás tarado… Si no te hubieses pasado la vida fanfarroneando y haciéndote pajas pensando en alguna bilbaína de cráneo tan deforme como el tuyo... y te hubieses pasado la vida estudiando lenguas y leyendo y escribiendo, como yo... otro gallo te cantaría.
English to Spanish: The same story on "translating is impossible", but in English.
Source text - English TRANSLATING IS IMPOSSIBLE - THE LOGIGAL (FINAL) 4TH STEP IN A 2.5K-YEAR JOURNEY (EXISTING... KNOWING... COMMUNICATING... AND TRANSLATING) - THE HISTORY OF PHILOSOPHY IN 4 STEPS.
From Gorgias, a Greek philosopher (sophist) to Albert Sáez, a freelance translator
Nothing exists. ------------------- Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything existed, it could not be known-----------Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything did exit, and could be known, it could not be communicated.------Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything could be communicated, that act of communication couldn't ever BE TRANSLATED------- Albert Sáez, a freelance translator, XXI century.
Translation - Spanish TRANSLATING IS IMPOSSIBLE - THE LOGIGAL (FINAL) 4TH STEP IN A 2.5K-YEAR JOURNEY (EXISTING... KNOWING... COMMUNICATING... AND TRANSLATING) - THE HISTORY OF PHILOSOPHY IN 4 STEPS.
From Gorgias, a Greek philosopher (sophist) to Albert Sáez, a freelance translator
Nothing exists. ------------------- Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything existed, it could not be known-----------Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything did exit, and could be known, it could not be communicated.------Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything could be communicated, that act of communication couldn't ever BE TRANSLATED------- Albert Sáez, a freelance translator, XXI century.
English to Spanish: A funny "caso práctico" (criminal case) lived on my own, submitted to a legal literature contest from the Girona Barr Association. You have ancillary documents for this case marked as EVIDENCE 1, EVIDENCE 2, etc.
Source text - English
"WHAT ARE YOU TAKING FROM HERE?! "WHAT ARE YOU TAKING FROM HERE?! "WHAT ARE YOU TAKING...!? OR HOW TO COMMIT SEVERAL CRIMES IN JUST 3 MINUTES
A first-hand account of an amusing criminal case study (with a hint of civil and administrative law) by a former lawyer (happily) turned legal translator
Author's pen-name: asserra
TO THE COUNCILMAN OF SPORTS AND CULTURE, GIRONA'S TOWN A CITY HALL
Dear Councilman,
The purpose of this letter, an informal letter with (almost) no legal effect, is to make you aware of various acts of misconduct (most of them of a criminal nature) perpetrated by CHARACTER A, Chairman of SPORTING ASSOCIATION A, an association based in premises owned by the City Hall of GIRONA'S TOWN A and which is granted direct and indirect subsidies from it. All of said crimes were committed back in 2001 and, therefore, are well past the statute of limitations. That legal expiration of criminal liability is thus one of the reasons for addressing you now, as this document will have no legal general relevance nor, more specifically, any criminal-law related relevance, and issues related to proof of facts are also irrelevant. This is just to share with you CHARACTER A's level of moral integrity, his respect for the truth, his sense of gratitude, and his level of sanity, someone who did not hesitate to commit slander, public disturbances, attempted misappropriation, inducement of minors to commit crimes, and threats (well, in actuality for a threat to be considered a real crime, the threatened person ought to feel at least some fear, and this did not happen as a matter of fact) against a former member of said sporting association. This is also someone who, with the best of intentions (doing a favour for said person, with whom I had a good relationship some time ago) volunteered selflessly to perform a very specific function (to write the documents for SPORTING ASSOCIATION A).
Narrating the whole series of events could well be somewhat exhausting, and it may even seem that it is me simply explaining to you (part of) my life. So, should you wish to skip ahead to the criminal offences, these are depicted in the paragraph bulleted as 5th, highlighted in bold, just in case you prefer to know those facts first and the subsequent the chain of events. Said events involved unfulfilled verbal agreements, of which personal relationships were the cause and serve as a background for the legally punishable offences committed by CHARACTER A, either directly or through other people (most of them minors), while exploiting and misusing the association's premises (property of the City Hall you represent) and the connections with the club's members and children residing in GIRONA'S TOWN A.
I will split up the rest of the text into bulleted paragraphs:
1st.- I, A.S.S., became a member of the SPORTING ASSOCIATION A back in 1996. I had a good personal relationship with CHARACTER A and at that time I was doing a range of small favours for said association, in the form of little back office tasks: assignments to be done, serving as a commissioner for teams at competitions, giving away books related to SPORTING ACTIVITY A, and, of particular interest, WRITING UP ALL OF THE DOCUMENTATION REQUIRED BY THE SPORTING ASSOCIATION, as it turned out that its Chairman, either due to educational weaknesses or a simple lack of intelligence, was completely unable to write any coherent sentence, even if it were a 2-word-sentence; when we were dealing with just a 1-word sentence sometimes he managed to do it, I’ll give him credit for that. Those little assignments or favours, which I carried out very gladly, were all done in good spirits.
2nd.- At a certain point, around mid-1999, I had the idea (a smart one, in hindsight) of asking the Chairman to arrange for me to be appointed as Secretary of the Board of the SPORTING ASSOCIATION A, and I did that only for two reasons:
- To do him a personal favour.
- As a "selfish" reason or motive in order for me to be able to include in my future professional CV the fact that I had been the secretary of an association.
Given that I have never liked being ordered around by anyone (psychologically speaking, a pathological reluctance to receiving orders), I let the chairman know that my only duty would be WRITING UP THE DOCUMENTATION FOR THE CLUB, and that I was absolutely refusing any other duty or responsibility, no matter to what extent it was more or less “dignified” than (let's say again) writing up the documents for that association. By then I already knew the score (I knew that CHARACTER A displayed certain psychotic traits - hallucinations are not to be ruled out - and he was entirely unable to uphold personal commitments and promises or, ultimately, respect the truth and reality of things), so I explained to him, perhaps about 70 TIMES (obsessive-compulsive repetition of the terms) that I would not carry out any order other than those strictly related to the purpose of "writing up the club's documentation". I utilised every well-established pedagogical method known at the time to share with him the reality and content of such a covenant (definition a contrario sensu, analogy, case studies, questions & answers, doubts resolved, general review, etc.). I let him know in every possible and conceivable way that I only accepted his alleged authority so that he would let me know the contents of the documents I would have to write up; I even told him that I would no longer perform those little assignments and tasks that I had been doing (serving as a commissioner for teams, etc.). In any event, I informed him that, if I were going to do anything else on behalf of the club, it would be solely on an independent basis – not obeying somebody else's orders. Ultimately, it was a kind of trustee agreement (i.e. based on personal confidence) whereby, under the legal guise of my appointment as Secretary, I would simply provide professional linguistic services – free of charge, I might add, given it was a personal favour. I used lots of examples and many different ways of reasoning. For instance, I told him that there are several club members who perform small functions on behalf of it (teaching SPORTING ACTIVITY A, issuing the bank payment orders, cleaning the club premises, etc.) and the fact was that he never ordered those men to do anything other than those tasks, so he should do the same with me.
3rd.- That personal trust-based covenant was not fulfilled at all by CHARACTER A right from the beginning, as he began "firing" orders of all kinds at me, in every possible direction and with a machine-gun-like speed, each one cheekier than the last. After having spent about an hour clarifying and restating the terms of our personal commitment, I was not willing to be messed around, so I SYSTEMATICALLY DISOBEYED ALL OF THE IMPERTINENT ORDERS THAT WERE SENT MY WAY. Thus, when ordered to do task A, I was answering "I wouldn’t bet on that, old chap"; when told to do the task B, I answered: "I don’t give a shit about the club’s archiving system – I don’t have to file anything at all"; for task 3, I then answered: "Come on, will you shut up already?!"; for the subsequent orders I barely answered and simply started to flick through some papers or a magazine, or kept myself busy by staring at the ceiling while being on stand-by status, waiting to be told what had to be written-up.
In the table below you will find some examples of the dialogues and situations you could witness at the sporting association's premises:
- You have to do this, this and this, as you're the secretary.
- No, I am not. I am not the secretary. An outside observer could think I am in fact the secretary, but we should try not to be superficial observers. It does seem that I am, as there is a piece of paper which states so, but really I am not the secretary; I am the redactor of documents whose essential contents are to be presented to me in a clear fashion through the use of hyphens or other sorts of summarising statements of things to be written.
-This weekend you're gonna be the waiter at the picnic for the members of the club, as you are the secretary.
- No, you’re going to be the waiter for said event. I will be with two Swedish girls I just met, 1.80 metres tall both of them (you’d have a heart attack if you saw them). We have big plans, the three of us.
-The fair parade...? You are in charge of it for this year's celebration.
-That fair parade will need to assemble itself, by magic or some other mystical force, because I won't be doing it.
-You are the secretary of this association and you've come here to work.
-"To work"? What does that mean? When I come here, I just do not know what "to work" means. It is a verb from Chinese? Or from another non-Indo-European language? When I come here, the only action-verb I know is "writing-up written documents", and even that would need some clarification.
- This is poorly written.
- My writing is perfectly fine and you have no goddamn idea about languages. You could spend the rest of your life trying to refute a single linguistic statement I could have done with my veins sucked on adulterated crack and you'd never manage it. Please do just explain to me how to fuck a bitch or how to manage having gypsy kids doing what they are told, but never try to do that with anything related to languages... You never will manage it!
-and so on, so on, so on.
-and so on, so on, so on.
4th.- A situation like that (disobeying inappropriate orders in the most obstinate, systematic fashion) led to CHARACTER A developing an insane psychopathic hatred towards me. It has already been said above that this guy is not completely sane, and completely lacks any kind of respect for the truth. After having a good friendship it all ended with me being the target of an uninhibited hatred. One could witness quite surreal situations: shouting in public just for moving my hand away from the keyboard while writing up a document or I was told to come to the club premises and, once there (after having to walk for about half an hour), he refused to tell me what I was supposed to write... Obviously I retaliated ("How do you fancy two months without an assistant? And I don’t want any long faces, or I’ll make it three months!"; a clear example of unilateral suspension of fiduciary duties).
5th.- The aforementioned circumstances forced me to resign from my (fiduciary) position, which I let the President know verbally along with a "dose" of shouting and mocking over something aburd. That happened on a weekday in January 2001. The following day I phoned this guy at home and told him to remove my membership to the association, to which he answered: "COME HERE TO RETURN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE FROM THE CLUB AND THE KEYS". It was the following Friday evening when I went to the club. At that point there were about 35 people playing SPORTING ACTIVITY A. When he saw me stepping through the door, bag in hand (the belongings of the association I came to deliver), the Chairman starts screaming like a man possessed: "What are you taking from here!? What are you taking from here!? What are you taking...!? (an offence of libel (1), with legal and moral aggravating circumstances of premeditation and treachery), all this right in front of women, children and elderly people, a group of the population deserving of reinforced legal protection, just as what happens with shipwrecks and other disturbing situations in society (an offence of breach of the peace), with the ensuing row that came to happen, especially given the fact that this guy did not want to deliver to me a book of mine that was there, on the club premises (an offence of attempted misappropriation). Eventually I forcefully managed to get the book and headed towards the exit when the guy started shouting: "And you cannot ever come back here, not even with the copies of the keys you have made" (again, an offence of libel). One can easily see how treacherous and despicable this guy is.
______________________________
(1) In fact quite a silly offence of libel, as, in spite of the deficiencies in the education system, rather poor in humanities, people still know the difference between the concepts "entering" (inbound) and "leaving" (outbound). The position of the guy performing the movement we are considering is quite meaningful. Thus, we see that, in the centripetal incoming movement, the tip of the feet (or of the shoes) are usually directed towards the geometric center of the destination point; however, this is not strictly mandatory, as, at least theoretically, the moving subject could enter backwards or take a step back, and then it would be his heels that would be facing the destination. The way to construe all of this would be slightly different in the event that the guy performing the movement went sideways.
Since then on I started getting constant phone calls, quite late in the night most of the time (often on Fridays, right when the 2011 OPEN TOURNAMENT A was being held), obscene phone calls with the intention of being threatening (2) to my land line. My telephone number did not appear in the yellow/white pages and was not linked to me in any Internet search engine nor in other tools, and only the President had access to it (he had it in his address book (paper format) and on the association's computer: unlawful disclosure of secrets). Those phone calls were made by males, most of them underage (inducement of minors to commit felonies, threats, or rather a poor attempt to commit threats, and offences
__________________________________________________
(2) You can guess, Mr. Councilman, how terribly frightened I was becoming due to those phone calls.
against one’s moral integrity, etc.). In case I had any doubts as to where those phone calls were coming from, in some of them, before hanging up, they said: "See you in the club premises on Friday." (that is what the President and I said to each other when we got along). I am highlighting the fact that CHARACTER A was taking advantage of the club premises (belonging to the City Hall you represent), of the underage members of that association and of the information stored in the association's computer to commit crimes against someone (me) whose only crime was moving his hand away from the keyboard while writing up a document). This simple action caused the President to start shouting, which triggered me resigning from my position as (formal) Secretary. This, in turn, led to me resigning as a member of the association, which caused this guy to tell me to come back to the club premises to return those items, which triggered… ultimately, all that has been explained above.
It is worth noting that CHARACTER A is not only a (silly) delinquent and as mad as a hatter, but also an entirely cowardly individual. Since one warning message (3), laid on his post box, and a few other messages, punishing messages (that, in case they were not legally justified as an act of self-defence, with just a bit of well-deserved punishment, executed on my own accord, now would be legally expired due to the passage of the time, as all those warning/punishing messages took place before the end of 2003), never again have I had any kind of trouble with anybody in any way connected with that sporting association; not even a phone call, nor any threat, nor a bad word there when I went back to its premises to play SPORTING ACTIVITY A competitions... Nothing at all in nine whole years! (4) It just so happens that that guy, the President, is engaged in a kind of "legal marking" or follow-up (you know, a kind of legal practice to pressure people) in the world of SPORTING ACTIVITY A): he travels (5) to different towns around Gerona to ask the managers of the tournaments if I have my licence in order, and he is causing my application not to be processed for enrolment in the Tournament OPEN A, organised by that sporting association in premises owned by your City Hall, with grants from public bodies and for which the rules from the association itself and the federative rules state that it is "open" to every associated member (that is why it is an open tournament). (6) In order to put the story to bed, it is quite bold to have an email sent to me telling me that, if I wanted to play that tournament, I should apologise (yes, Mr. Councilman, you read correctly: he wrote "apologise", and if I am not wrong, with quite a big font size in that e-mail).
_______________________________________________________
(3) You can guess as well, Mr. Councilman, no big effort needed, the contents of my message to him.
(4) The contrast between some 40 or 50 phone calls, made over several weeks by a dozen different guys, and no phone call in the following nine years is so bold that would grab the attention of any statistics student, even if he/she were in his/her first year at university.
(5) He gets there in cars loaned to him by other members of the association. As he is not even able to write, there is nobody who hires him, and, therefore, he is financially unable to have a car of his own.
(6) It is obvious that, given the norm stating that the tournament is open to everybody, this rule is not to be construed in this way: "It will be open to every associated member of the Federation, save those former partners and (so-called) secretaries who resigned from the organising association and who were victims of an offence of libel, breach of the peace (...) who used a certain amount of potential violence for self-defence purposes.". Furthermore, by applying advanced procedures of legal interpretation and integration (i.e. the famous concept of hermeneutics), I believe it may be concluded that the subjective right (of each and every associated player) to take part in this tournament is a reinforced right, deserving special legal protection. As rather a theoretical or doctrinal issue would be whether or not this right should be embodied in the constitutional category of a fundamental right.
The only legal effect I am pursuing with this letter is to file a sealed copy of it for the Catalan Federation of SPORTING ACTIVITY A to be aware of the story behind this refusal to process my request for enrolment in that competition.
That aside, the purpose of this letter, as previously said, is for you to know the level of moral integrity of this guy, who did not hesitate to commit offences using the premises, means and relationships owned by or linked to the City Hall of GIRONA'S TOWN A, or even to involve minors in it all.
My intention is for you to know the facts and assess them accordingly.
As the statute of limitations has long since expired on these legal offences, I do not believe that proving them is a relevant matter. In any case if you talk to GIRONA'S TOWN A'S resident and member of the SPORTING ASSOCIATION A, THE CHARACTER B, someone whom I already brought to his senses (a clear example of a sudden and resolute waiving of criminal intentions because of a "suggestion" (7) from the interested party), he can confirm that what I say is true: he was involved in some of the relevant incidents, when he was calling my land line number with the information provided by the President of the association, and witnessed some other incidents (he was right there in the entrance of the premises at the time of that incident of "WHATAREYOUTAKINGFROMHEREWHATAREYOUTAKINGFROMHEREWHATAREYOUTAKINGFROMHERE". He is not going to deny all of this if you ask him directly.
_______________________________________________
(7) - Where are your balls now, motherfucker???
- (...) Oh, no!!!! Please don't hit me! I'm sorry! (...) It is CHARACTER A who is managing all this... it was he who gave us your telephone number... You should be going after him!!! Sniff!!!
In short, CHARACTER A has committed all of these crimes against someone (me) who can be accused of nothing more than doing him a favour, of sticking strictly to a legal covenant and of perfectly carrying out the tasks he undertook (all throughout my life I have been a professional writer, either as a lawyer, as a teacher of languages or as a translator; obviously I did not commit even a single mistake in my performance as writer for the documentation of the SPORTING ASSOCIATION A. However, in the unlikely case that I made an error in my writing, this guy would have not realised it; I already said that we are dealing with a real functionally illiterate man). Now you know who CHARACTER A is and how he pays for the favours done to him. I also wasn’t to emphasise that this story is rooted, ultimately, in the sad fact that, at this guy's home, they did not bother teaching him to read and write; had they done so, none of this would have ever happened, and that good friendship I talked about above would still be intact. And I also want to let you know that I saw everything that happened with this vile guy coming after that arduous 60-minute conversation stating (and restating) the terms of our agreement: Then I told him: "We have just made a deal, that you are not going to ask me to do anything outside of writing documents; if you do not respect this covenant, I'm gonna ignore you, and if I do, I will be the object of your uninhibited hatred and you are gonna want to see me dead in a pool of blood". That is what I told this guy, laughing (but not kidding) back when we were had a good relationship, and that's exactly what eventually happened. Allow me, Mr. Councilman, to boast a bit, just a bit, about my divination skills.
Yours sincerely,
A.S.S.
POSTAL ADDRESS A
GIR0NA'S TOWN B
ID UNDETERMINED ALPHANUMERIC CODE
Translation - Spanish
"WHAT ARE YOU TAKING FROM HERE?! "WHAT ARE YOU TAKING FROM HERE?! "WHAT ARE YOU TAKING...!? OR HOW TO COMMIT SEVERAL CRIMES IN JUST 3 MINUTES
A first-hand account of an amusing criminal case study (with a hint of civil and administrative law) by a former lawyer (happily) turned legal translator
Author's pen-name: asserra
TO THE COUNCILMAN OF SPORTS AND CULTURE, GIRONA'S TOWN A CITY HALL
Dear Councilman,
The purpose of this letter, an informal letter with (almost) no legal effect, is to make you aware of various acts of misconduct (most of them of a criminal nature) perpetrated by CHARACTER A, Chairman of SPORTING ASSOCIATION A, an association based in premises owned by the City Hall of GIRONA'S TOWN A and which is granted direct and indirect subsidies from it. All of said crimes were committed back in 2001 and, therefore, are well past the statute of limitations. That legal expiration of criminal liability is thus one of the reasons for addressing you now, as this document will have no legal general relevance nor, more specifically, any criminal-law related relevance, and issues related to proof of facts are also irrelevant. This is just to share with you CHARACTER A's level of moral integrity, his respect for the truth, his sense of gratitude, and his level of sanity, someone who did not hesitate to commit slander, public disturbances, attempted misappropriation, inducement of minors to commit crimes, and threats (well, in actuality for a threat to be considered a real crime, the threatened person ought to feel at least some fear, and this did not happen as a matter of fact) against a former member of said sporting association. This is also someone who, with the best of intentions (doing a favour for said person, with whom I had a good relationship some time ago) volunteered selflessly to perform a very specific function (to write the documents for SPORTING ASSOCIATION A).
Narrating the whole series of events could well be somewhat exhausting, and it may even seem that it is me simply explaining to you (part of) my life. So, should you wish to skip ahead to the criminal offences, these are depicted in the paragraph bulleted as 5th, highlighted in bold, just in case you prefer to know those facts first and the subsequent the chain of events. Said events involved unfulfilled verbal agreements, of which personal relationships were the cause and serve as a background for the legally punishable offences committed by CHARACTER A, either directly or through other people (most of them minors), while exploiting and misusing the association's premises (property of the City Hall you represent) and the connections with the club's members and children residing in GIRONA'S TOWN A.
I will split up the rest of the text into bulleted paragraphs:
1st.- I, A.S.S., became a member of the SPORTING ASSOCIATION A back in 1996. I had a good personal relationship with CHARACTER A and at that time I was doing a range of small favours for said association, in the form of little back office tasks: assignments to be done, serving as a commissioner for teams at competitions, giving away books related to SPORTING ACTIVITY A, and, of particular interest, WRITING UP ALL OF THE DOCUMENTATION REQUIRED BY THE SPORTING ASSOCIATION, as it turned out that its Chairman, either due to educational weaknesses or a simple lack of intelligence, was completely unable to write any coherent sentence, even if it were a 2-word-sentence; when we were dealing with just a 1-word sentence sometimes he managed to do it, I’ll give him credit for that. Those little assignments or favours, which I carried out very gladly, were all done in good spirits.
2nd.- At a certain point, around mid-1999, I had the idea (a smart one, in hindsight) of asking the Chairman to arrange for me to be appointed as Secretary of the Board of the SPORTING ASSOCIATION A, and I did that only for two reasons:
- To do him a personal favour.
- As a "selfish" reason or motive in order for me to be able to include in my future professional CV the fact that I had been the secretary of an association.
Given that I have never liked being ordered around by anyone (psychologically speaking, a pathological reluctance to receiving orders), I let the chairman know that my only duty would be WRITING UP THE DOCUMENTATION FOR THE CLUB, and that I was absolutely refusing any other duty or responsibility, no matter to what extent it was more or less “dignified” than (let's say again) writing up the documents for that association. By then I already knew the score (I knew that CHARACTER A displayed certain psychotic traits - hallucinations are not to be ruled out - and he was entirely unable to uphold personal commitments and promises or, ultimately, respect the truth and reality of things), so I explained to him, perhaps about 70 TIMES (obsessive-compulsive repetition of the terms) that I would not carry out any order other than those strictly related to the purpose of "writing up the club's documentation". I utilised every well-established pedagogical method known at the time to share with him the reality and content of such a covenant (definition a contrario sensu, analogy, case studies, questions & answers, doubts resolved, general review, etc.). I let him know in every possible and conceivable way that I only accepted his alleged authority so that he would let me know the contents of the documents I would have to write up; I even told him that I would no longer perform those little assignments and tasks that I had been doing (serving as a commissioner for teams, etc.). In any event, I informed him that, if I were going to do anything else on behalf of the club, it would be solely on an independent basis – not obeying somebody else's orders. Ultimately, it was a kind of trustee agreement (i.e. based on personal confidence) whereby, under the legal guise of my appointment as Secretary, I would simply provide professional linguistic services – free of charge, I might add, given it was a personal favour. I used lots of examples and many different ways of reasoning. For instance, I told him that there are several club members who perform small functions on behalf of it (teaching SPORTING ACTIVITY A, issuing the bank payment orders, cleaning the club premises, etc.) and the fact was that he never ordered those men to do anything other than those tasks, so he should do the same with me.
3rd.- That personal trust-based covenant was not fulfilled at all by CHARACTER A right from the beginning, as he began "firing" orders of all kinds at me, in every possible direction and with a machine-gun-like speed, each one cheekier than the last. After having spent about an hour clarifying and restating the terms of our personal commitment, I was not willing to be messed around, so I SYSTEMATICALLY DISOBEYED ALL OF THE IMPERTINENT ORDERS THAT WERE SENT MY WAY. Thus, when ordered to do task A, I was answering "I wouldn’t bet on that, old chap"; when told to do the task B, I answered: "I don’t give a shit about the club’s archiving system – I don’t have to file anything at all"; for task 3, I then answered: "Come on, will you shut up already?!"; for the subsequent orders I barely answered and simply started to flick through some papers or a magazine, or kept myself busy by staring at the ceiling while being on stand-by status, waiting to be told what had to be written-up.
In the table below you will find some examples of the dialogues and situations you could witness at the sporting association's premises:
- You have to do this, this and this, as you're the secretary.
- No, I am not. I am not the secretary. An outside observer could think I am in fact the secretary, but we should try not to be superficial observers. It does seem that I am, as there is a piece of paper which states so, but really I am not the secretary; I am the redactor of documents whose essential contents are to be presented to me in a clear fashion through the use of hyphens or other sorts of summarising statements of things to be written.
-This weekend you're gonna be the waiter at the picnic for the members of the club, as you are the secretary.
- No, you’re going to be the waiter for said event. I will be with two Swedish girls I just met, 1.80 metres tall both of them (you’d have a heart attack if you saw them). We have big plans, the three of us.
-The fair parade...? You are in charge of it for this year's celebration.
-That fair parade will need to assemble itself, by magic or some other mystical force, because I won't be doing it.
-You are the secretary of this association and you've come here to work.
-"To work"? What does that mean? When I come here, I just do not know what "to work" means. It is a verb from Chinese? Or from another non-Indo-European language? When I come here, the only action-verb I know is "writing-up written documents", and even that would need some clarification.
- This is poorly written.
- My writing is perfectly fine and you have no goddamn idea about languages. You could spend the rest of your life trying to refute a single linguistic statement I could have done with my veins sucked on adulterated crack and you'd never manage it. Please do just explain to me how to fuck a bitch or how to manage having gypsy kids doing what they are told, but never try to do that with anything related to languages... You never will manage it!
-and so on, so on, so on.
-and so on, so on, so on.
4th.- A situation like that (disobeying inappropriate orders in the most obstinate, systematic fashion) led to CHARACTER A developing an insane psychopathic hatred towards me. It has already been said above that this guy is not completely sane, and completely lacks any kind of respect for the truth. After having a good friendship it all ended with me being the target of an uninhibited hatred. One could witness quite surreal situations: shouting in public just for moving my hand away from the keyboard while writing up a document or I was told to come to the club premises and, once there (after having to walk for about half an hour), he refused to tell me what I was supposed to write... Obviously I retaliated ("How do you fancy two months without an assistant? And I don’t want any long faces, or I’ll make it three months!"; a clear example of unilateral suspension of fiduciary duties).
5th.- The aforementioned circumstances forced me to resign from my (fiduciary) position, which I let the President know verbally along with a "dose" of shouting and mocking over something aburd. That happened on a weekday in January 2001. The following day I phoned this guy at home and told him to remove my membership to the association, to which he answered: "COME HERE TO RETURN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE FROM THE CLUB AND THE KEYS". It was the following Friday evening when I went to the club. At that point there were about 35 people playing SPORTING ACTIVITY A. When he saw me stepping through the door, bag in hand (the belongings of the association I came to deliver), the Chairman starts screaming like a man possessed: "What are you taking from here!? What are you taking from here!? What are you taking...!? (an offence of libel (1), with legal and moral aggravating circumstances of premeditation and treachery), all this right in front of women, children and elderly people, a group of the population deserving of reinforced legal protection, just as what happens with shipwrecks and other disturbing situations in society (an offence of breach of the peace), with the ensuing row that came to happen, especially given the fact that this guy did not want to deliver to me a book of mine that was there, on the club premises (an offence of attempted misappropriation). Eventually I forcefully managed to get the book and headed towards the exit when the guy started shouting: "And you cannot ever come back here, not even with the copies of the keys you have made" (again, an offence of libel). One can easily see how treacherous and despicable this guy is.
______________________________
(1) In fact quite a silly offence of libel, as, in spite of the deficiencies in the education system, rather poor in humanities, people still know the difference between the concepts "entering" (inbound) and "leaving" (outbound). The position of the guy performing the movement we are considering is quite meaningful. Thus, we see that, in the centripetal incoming movement, the tip of the feet (or of the shoes) are usually directed towards the geometric center of the destination point; however, this is not strictly mandatory, as, at least theoretically, the moving subject could enter backwards or take a step back, and then it would be his heels that would be facing the destination. The way to construe all of this would be slightly different in the event that the guy performing the movement went sideways.
Since then on I started getting constant phone calls, quite late in the night most of the time (often on Fridays, right when the 2011 OPEN TOURNAMENT A was being held), obscene phone calls with the intention of being threatening (2) to my land line. My telephone number did not appear in the yellow/white pages and was not linked to me in any Internet search engine nor in other tools, and only the President had access to it (he had it in his address book (paper format) and on the association's computer: unlawful disclosure of secrets). Those phone calls were made by males, most of them underage (inducement of minors to commit felonies, threats, or rather a poor attempt to commit threats, and offences
__________________________________________________
(2) You can guess, Mr. Councilman, how terribly frightened I was becoming due to those phone calls.
against one’s moral integrity, etc.). In case I had any doubts as to where those phone calls were coming from, in some of them, before hanging up, they said: "See you in the club premises on Friday." (that is what the President and I said to each other when we got along). I am highlighting the fact that CHARACTER A was taking advantage of the club premises (belonging to the City Hall you represent), of the underage members of that association and of the information stored in the association's computer to commit crimes against someone (me) whose only crime was moving his hand away from the keyboard while writing up a document). This simple action caused the President to start shouting, which triggered me resigning from my position as (formal) Secretary. This, in turn, led to me resigning as a member of the association, which caused this guy to tell me to come back to the club premises to return those items, which triggered… ultimately, all that has been explained above.
It is worth noting that CHARACTER A is not only a (silly) delinquent and as mad as a hatter, but also an entirely cowardly individual. Since one warning message (3), laid on his post box, and a few other messages, punishing messages (that, in case they were not legally justified as an act of self-defence, with just a bit of well-deserved punishment, executed on my own accord, now would be legally expired due to the passage of the time, as all those warning/punishing messages took place before the end of 2003), never again have I had any kind of trouble with anybody in any way connected with that sporting association; not even a phone call, nor any threat, nor a bad word there when I went back to its premises to play SPORTING ACTIVITY A competitions... Nothing at all in nine whole years! (4) It just so happens that that guy, the President, is engaged in a kind of "legal marking" or follow-up (you know, a kind of legal practice to pressure people) in the world of SPORTING ACTIVITY A): he travels (5) to different towns around Gerona to ask the managers of the tournaments if I have my licence in order, and he is causing my application not to be processed for enrolment in the Tournament OPEN A, organised by that sporting association in premises owned by your City Hall, with grants from public bodies and for which the rules from the association itself and the federative rules state that it is "open" to every associated member (that is why it is an open tournament). (6) In order to put the story to bed, it is quite bold to have an email sent to me telling me that, if I wanted to play that tournament, I should apologise (yes, Mr. Councilman, you read correctly: he wrote "apologise", and if I am not wrong, with quite a big font size in that e-mail).
_______________________________________________________
(3) You can guess as well, Mr. Councilman, no big effort needed, the contents of my message to him.
(4) The contrast between some 40 or 50 phone calls, made over several weeks by a dozen different guys, and no phone call in the following nine years is so bold that would grab the attention of any statistics student, even if he/she were in his/her first year at university.
(5) He gets there in cars loaned to him by other members of the association. As he is not even able to write, there is nobody who hires him, and, therefore, he is financially unable to have a car of his own.
(6) It is obvious that, given the norm stating that the tournament is open to everybody, this rule is not to be construed in this way: "It will be open to every associated member of the Federation, save those former partners and (so-called) secretaries who resigned from the organising association and who were victims of an offence of libel, breach of the peace (...) who used a certain amount of potential violence for self-defence purposes.". Furthermore, by applying advanced procedures of legal interpretation and integration (i.e. the famous concept of hermeneutics), I believe it may be concluded that the subjective right (of each and every associated player) to take part in this tournament is a reinforced right, deserving special legal protection. As rather a theoretical or doctrinal issue would be whether or not this right should be embodied in the constitutional category of a fundamental right.
The only legal effect I am pursuing with this letter is to file a sealed copy of it for the Catalan Federation of SPORTING ACTIVITY A to be aware of the story behind this refusal to process my request for enrolment in that competition.
That aside, the purpose of this letter, as previously said, is for you to know the level of moral integrity of this guy, who did not hesitate to commit offences using the premises, means and relationships owned by or linked to the City Hall of GIRONA'S TOWN A, or even to involve minors in it all.
My intention is for you to know the facts and assess them accordingly.
As the statute of limitations has long since expired on these legal offences, I do not believe that proving them is a relevant matter. In any case if you talk to GIRONA'S TOWN A'S resident and member of the SPORTING ASSOCIATION A, THE CHARACTER B, someone whom I already brought to his senses (a clear example of a sudden and resolute waiving of criminal intentions because of a "suggestion" (7) from the interested party), he can confirm that what I say is true: he was involved in some of the relevant incidents, when he was calling my land line number with the information provided by the President of the association, and witnessed some other incidents (he was right there in the entrance of the premises at the time of that incident of "WHATAREYOUTAKINGFROMHEREWHATAREYOUTAKINGFROMHEREWHATAREYOUTAKINGFROMHERE". He is not going to deny all of this if you ask him directly.
_______________________________________________
(7) - Where are your balls now, motherfucker???
- (...) Oh, no!!!! Please don't hit me! I'm sorry! (...) It is CHARACTER A who is managing all this... it was he who gave us your telephone number... You should be going after him!!! Sniff!!!
In short, CHARACTER A has committed all of these crimes against someone (me) who can be accused of nothing more than doing him a favour, of sticking strictly to a legal covenant and of perfectly carrying out the tasks he undertook (all throughout my life I have been a professional writer, either as a lawyer, as a teacher of languages or as a translator; obviously I did not commit even a single mistake in my performance as writer for the documentation of the SPORTING ASSOCIATION A. However, in the unlikely case that I made an error in my writing, this guy would have not realised it; I already said that we are dealing with a real functionally illiterate man). Now you know who CHARACTER A is and how he pays for the favours done to him. I also wasn’t to emphasise that this story is rooted, ultimately, in the sad fact that, at this guy's home, they did not bother teaching him to read and write; had they done so, none of this would have ever happened, and that good friendship I talked about above would still be intact. And I also want to let you know that I saw everything that happened with this vile guy coming after that arduous 60-minute conversation stating (and restating) the terms of our agreement: Then I told him: "We have just made a deal, that you are not going to ask me to do anything outside of writing documents; if you do not respect this covenant, I'm gonna ignore you, and if I do, I will be the object of your uninhibited hatred and you are gonna want to see me dead in a pool of blood". That is what I told this guy, laughing (but not kidding) back when we were had a good relationship, and that's exactly what eventually happened. Allow me, Mr. Councilman, to boast a bit, just a bit, about my divination skills.
Yours sincerely,
A.S.S.
POSTAL ADDRESS A
GIR0NA'S TOWN B
ID UNDETERMINED ALPHANUMERIC CODE
English to Spanish: Evidence2
Source text - English Novament em dirigeixo a vosaltres, com a presidents dels clubs d'escacs gironins, en relació al personatge que és en Jaume García Navarra.
Ja sabeu que, per les coses que van passar, un dels propòsits que em queden a la vida, entre d'altres, és fer que aquest individu acabi pensant que hauria estat millor dedicar-se al poker, cosa que, si no he aconseguit ja, no trigaré massa en fer realitat.
A aquests efectes us passo una versió d'aquella mateixa història que us vaig explicar, però en aquest cas "optimitzada" per a un certamen literari... el concurs de literatura jurídica del Col•legi d'Advocats de Girona. És la mateixa història, però sense dades personals i explicada d'una forma que vol ser més divertida (fins al punt que, a força de divertiment, no hauria estat del tot prudent presentar-la directament al regidor de Salt).
Translation - Spanish Novament em dirigeixo a vosaltres, com a presidents dels clubs d'escacs gironins, en relació al personatge que és en Jaume García Navarra.
Ja sabeu que, per les coses que van passar, un dels propòsits que em queden a la vida, entre d'altres, és fer que aquest individu acabi pensant que hauria estat millor dedicar-se al poker, cosa que, si no he aconseguit ja, no trigaré massa en fer realitat.
A aquests efectes us passo una versió d'aquella mateixa història que us vaig explicar, però en aquest cas "optimitzada" per a un certamen literari... el concurs de literatura jurídica del Col•legi d'Advocats de Girona. És la mateixa història, però sense dades personals i explicada d'una forma que vol ser més divertida (fins al punt que, a força de divertiment, no hauria estat del tot prudent presentar-la directament al regidor de Salt).
English to Spanish: Evidence3
Source text - English Sr. President de club d’escacs (de Girona),
Em dic Albert Sáez Serrano. Abans formava part del món dels escacs, de diverses maneres. Per aquelles coses de la vida, i ja fa força anys em vaig convertir (tot i que només nominalment) en secretari del Club d’Escacs Salt i Girona. Allà hi van passar algunes històries, que teniu reflectides en la còpia de l’escrit (5 pàgines) que vaig presentar al regidor d’Esports i Cultura de l’Ajuntament de Salt.
Teniu un col•lega, el president del club esmentat, en Jaume García Navarra, al qual no li manca cap “virtut”: calumniador, cabra boja, no respecta els propis compromisos, fa servir nens per a finalitats delictives, covard com una gallina, un veritable analfabet funcional… Tot això ho podeu veure llegint la història que s’inclou en l’escrit.
Especialment colpidora és la seva condició de calumniador fastigós. Deixeu-me que jugui una mica a psicoanalista… a casa d’aquest individu, només una generació enrere, durant la Guerra (Civil), es dedicaven a robar esglésies, amb els seus camarades d’estirp política… A casa meva, durant la Guerra (Civil), més aviat feien el contrari (portar coses a l’església... un germà de la meva besàvia, mossèn i teòleg, va morir a la Guerra no sense abans ser desposseït de totes les seves pertinences –fins i tot les destinades al culte... pels amics de l’estirp d’en Jaume Garcia Navarra)… Podria ser que la “querencia”, que es diu en castellà, a calumniar-me de lladre que té aquest subjecte vingui donada pel fet que (altre cop en castellà) “le remuerde la conciencia histórica” i li cal traspassar aquest… com diria jo…. sentiment de culpa i vergonya a la meva persona.
Són 5 pàgines, però jo crec que són entretingudes i, en alguns moments, divertides. Llegiu-les i sabreu qui és en Jaume Garcia Navarra i com està del cap.
Translation - Spanish Sr. President de club d’escacs (de Girona),
Em dic Albert Sáez Serrano. Abans formava part del món dels escacs, de diverses maneres. Per aquelles coses de la vida, i ja fa força anys em vaig convertir (tot i que només nominalment) en secretari del Club d’Escacs Salt i Girona. Allà hi van passar algunes històries, que teniu reflectides en la còpia de l’escrit (5 pàgines) que vaig presentar al regidor d’Esports i Cultura de l’Ajuntament de Salt.
Teniu un col•lega, el president del club esmentat, en Jaume García Navarra, al qual no li manca cap “virtut”: calumniador, cabra boja, no respecta els propis compromisos, fa servir nens per a finalitats delictives, covard com una gallina, un veritable analfabet funcional… Tot això ho podeu veure llegint la història que s’inclou en l’escrit.
Especialment colpidora és la seva condició de calumniador fastigós. Deixeu-me que jugui una mica a psicoanalista… a casa d’aquest individu, només una generació enrere, durant la Guerra (Civil), es dedicaven a robar esglésies, amb els seus camarades d’estirp política… A casa meva, durant la Guerra (Civil), més aviat feien el contrari (portar coses a l’església... un germà de la meva besàvia, mossèn i teòleg, va morir a la Guerra no sense abans ser desposseït de totes les seves pertinences –fins i tot les destinades al culte... pels amics de l’estirp d’en Jaume Garcia Navarra)… Podria ser que la “querencia”, que es diu en castellà, a calumniar-me de lladre que té aquest subjecte vingui donada pel fet que (altre cop en castellà) “le remuerde la conciencia histórica” i li cal traspassar aquest… com diria jo…. sentiment de culpa i vergonya a la meva persona.
Són 5 pàgines, però jo crec que són entretingudes i, en alguns moments, divertides. Llegiu-les i sabreu qui és en Jaume Garcia Navarra i com està del cap.
English to Spanish: Evidence 5
Source text - English Novament em dirigeixo a vosaltres, com a presidents dels clubs d'escacs gironins, en relació al personatge que és en Jaume García Navarra.
Ja sabeu que, per les coses que van passar, un dels propòsits que em queden a la vida, entre d'altres, és fer que aquest individu acabi pensant que hauria estat millor dedicar-se al poker, cosa que, si no he aconseguit ja, no trigaré massa en fer realitat.
A aquests efectes us passo una versió d'aquella mateixa història que us vaig explicar, però en aquest cas "optimitzada" per a un certamen literari... el concurs de literatura jurídica del Col•legi d'Advocats de Girona. És la mateixa història, però sense dades personals i explicada d'una forma que vol ser més divertida (fins al punt que, a força de divertiment, no hauria estat del tot prudent presentar-la directament al regidor de Salt).
Translation - Spanish Novament em dirigeixo a vosaltres, com a presidents dels clubs d'escacs gironins, en relació al personatge que és en Jaume García Navarra.
Ja sabeu que, per les coses que van passar, un dels propòsits que em queden a la vida, entre d'altres, és fer que aquest individu acabi pensant que hauria estat millor dedicar-se al poker, cosa que, si no he aconseguit ja, no trigaré massa en fer realitat.
A aquests efectes us passo una versió d'aquella mateixa història que us vaig explicar, però en aquest cas "optimitzada" per a un certamen literari... el concurs de literatura jurídica del Col•legi d'Advocats de Girona. És la mateixa història, però sense dades personals i explicada d'una forma que vol ser més divertida (fins al punt que, a força de divertiment, no hauria estat del tot prudent presentar-la directament al regidor de Salt).
English to Spanish: Some funny reflections on some funny methods to find out if a woman is virgin or not; also some reflections and excerpts on/from "1984", by George Orwell, a great book in spite that sadly "Big Brother" TV show got related to it.
Source text - English Dear Jana,
I didn't expect such a deep reflection about religion and virginity. It was not my purpose. But, now it is done and I'm going to explain to you, DEFINITIVELY, what female virginity means to me: VIRGINITY MEANS THAT A WOMAN HAS MYSTERY. It does not just deals with moral or religion (‘cause, if you commit something wrong, moral and religion allows you to solve it very easily, but mystery has no retroactive solution. If mystery is gone, it cannot be rescued).
And I know that it is not especially wise stating differences on this matter between men and women when you talk to women; but often I cannot avoid the temptation. And I think, I know, that most of people know it, and do accept and act according to this.
But, in a more practical way, you wondered about the way of testing,, of checking up the virginity of Slovakian girls: the most primary method consists on stopping them in the middle of the street and asking: "are you virgin?". This method, like happens with the gynaecological examination, must be rejected because...well, because a lot of reasons.
2nd method: "Unicorn" is the name of a mythological animal whose horn, turned into dust poured into a beverage, was used by kings and aristocratic people for treating impotence during the Middle Age. It was a very violent animal and, then, it was specially difficult and dangerous trying to capture it. But if you approach to him with a virgin girl by your side ("doncella" we call it in Spain), that animal keeps calmed and peaceful and no fight needed to kill him. Are there "Unicorns" in Slovakia? I could use them. (1)
3rd method: According to some people who, it is said, are experts on this matter, the face skin of virgin girls has a kind of "stress", strand or tension on its surface, a very slight but perceptible stress; this "stress" disappears immediately after de first sexual act.
4th method...
Well, no more reflections on virginity for the next 3 or 4 messages.
---------------------------------------------------
I want you to read "1984", by George Orwell, in English version, if possible. There a lot of concepts in this book ("doublethink", "doublemind" (2), "thought control", "control of the past") which, supposedly, integrated the theory and practice of Eastern countries until recent last years (or was not only on Eastern countries? But... anyplace anytime). Maybe you are gonna say I have a topical and manipulated vision of that part of the world. You said it to me in the Alps.
"1984" is one of my favourite books. I have read it a dozen times. Once upon a time somebody said (maybe it was me myself) that we, the human, like tenderness, beauty, sweet things and love in real life, but not in fiction and literature, arts in general. And this a very "hard" book, no doubt about it.
Here you have a transcription of a part of it. It talks about the doctrine of THE CONTROL OF THE PAST.
Winston Smith, the main and, in some senses, the only character of the novel, is captured by the Thought Police, and is being interrogated by O'BRIEN, an important member of the Inner Party.
O'BRIEN: "There is a Party slogan dealing with the control of the past", he said. "Repeat it, if you please".
WINSTON: "Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present, controls the past", repeated Winston Obediently.
O'BRIEN: "Who controls the present, controls the past", said O'Brien, nodding his head with slow approval. "It is your opinion that the past has real existence?".
Again the feeling of helplessness descended upon Winston. His eyes flitted towards the dial. He not only did not know whether "yes" or "no" was the answer that would save him from pain; he did not even know which answer he believed to be the true one.
O'Brien smiled faintly. "You are no metaphysician, Winston", he said. "Until this moment you had never considered what is meant by existence. I will put it more precisely. Does the past exist concretely, in space? Is there somewhere or other a place, a world of solid objects, where the past is still happening?".
"...
WINSTON: "No."
O'BRIEN: "Then where does the past exist, if at all?".
WINSTON: "In records. It is written down."
O'BRIEN: "In records. And-?
WINSTON: "In the mind. In human memories".
O'BRIEN: In memory. Very well, then. We the party control all records, and we control all memories. Then we control the past, do we not?
WINSTON: "but how can you stop people remembering things?" cried Winston, again momentarily forgetting the dial. "It is involuntary. It is outside oneself. How can you control memory? You have not controlled mine".
O'Brien's manner grew stern again. He laid his hand on the dial.
"On the contrary", he said. "You have not controlled it. That is what has brought you here. You are here because you have failed in humility, in self-discipline. You would not make the acct of submission which is the price of sanity. You preferred to be a lunatic, a minority of one. Only the disciplined mind can see reality, Winston. You believe that reality is something external, existing on his own right. You also believe that the nature of reality is self-evident. When you delude yourself into thinking that you see something, you assume that everyone else sees the same thing as you. But I tell you, Winston, that reality is not external. Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. Not in the individual mind, which can make mistakes, and in any case soon perishes; only in the mind of the Party, which is collective and immortal. Whatever the Party holds to be truth, is truth. It is impossible to see reality except by looking the eyes of the Party. That is the fact that you have got to relearn, Winston. It needs and act of self-destruction, an effort of the will. You must humble yourself before you can become sane:"
..."
I like very very much this and other parts of the book, very, very much. Read it and, also, "Animal farm", by the author. And we will comment.
--------------------
The girl whose photo I showed you in the Alps (the owner of the 4 conditions) stayed in Bratislava 2 months ago. She said it is nice...
... at least, what she could see during the 120 minutes she remained there.
--------------------------------
Let me know your academic and not academic plans for the next year.
(!) Scientists, philosophers and theorists has been on speculation about the deep reason of this behavioural pattern: some of them state different state of the physical body; others about a protection by a Superior Being, there are some of them who simply say... “I dont know”, quite modestly. My personal opinion: if you have got a virgin girl, why do you need to live? You’ve got all things, you know all and you have seen everything. Really, I think all I do in my live is Looking For The Eyes Of A Virgin Girl.
(2) With “Doublemind” is referred the ability, the capacity of holding two contradictories believings simultaneously. This, of course, is an incredible act of misunderstanding, ignorance or even madness if applied to a political enemy, but a superior degree of mental development if applied to one’s comrades. Understanding the concept of “doublemind” needs doublemind.
Translation - Spanish Dear Jana,
I didn't expect such a deep reflection about religion and virginity. It was not my purpose. But, now it is done and I'm going to explain to you, DEFINITIVELY, what female virginity means to me: VIRGINITY MEANS THAT A WOMAN HAS MYSTERY. It does not just deals with moral or religion (‘cause, if you commit something wrong, moral and religion allows you to solve it very easily, but mystery has no retroactive solution. If mystery is gone, it cannot be rescued).
And I know that it is not especially wise stating differences on this matter between men and women when you talk to women; but often I cannot avoid the temptation. And I think, I know, that most of people know it, and do accept and act according to this.
But, in a more practical way, you wondered about the way of testing,, of checking up the virginity of Slovakian girls: the most primary method consists on stopping them in the middle of the street and asking: "are you virgin?". This method, like happens with the gynaecological examination, must be rejected because...well, because a lot of reasons.
2nd method: "Unicorn" is the name of a mythological animal whose horn, turned into dust poured into a beverage, was used by kings and aristocratic people for treating impotence during the Middle Age. It was a very violent animal and, then, it was specially difficult and dangerous trying to capture it. But if you approach to him with a virgin girl by your side ("doncella" we call it in Spain), that animal keeps calmed and peaceful and no fight needed to kill him. Are there "Unicorns" in Slovakia? I could use them. (1)
3rd method: According to some people who, it is said, are experts on this matter, the face skin of virgin girls has a kind of "stress", strand or tension on its surface, a very slight but perceptible stress; this "stress" disappears immediately after de first sexual act.
4th method...
Well, no more reflections on virginity for the next 3 or 4 messages.
---------------------------------------------------
I want you to read "1984", by George Orwell, in English version, if possible. There a lot of concepts in this book ("doublethink", "doublemind" (2), "thought control", "control of the past") which, supposedly, integrated the theory and practice of Eastern countries until recent last years (or was not only on Eastern countries? But... anyplace anytime). Maybe you are gonna say I have a topical and manipulated vision of that part of the world. You said it to me in the Alps.
"1984" is one of my favourite books. I have read it a dozen times. Once upon a time somebody said (maybe it was me myself) that we, the human, like tenderness, beauty, sweet things and love in real life, but not in fiction and literature, arts in general. And this a very "hard" book, no doubt about it.
Here you have a transcription of a part of it. It talks about the doctrine of THE CONTROL OF THE PAST.
Winston Smith, the main and, in some senses, the only character of the novel, is captured by the Thought Police, and is being interrogated by O'BRIEN, an important member of the Inner Party.
O'BRIEN: "There is a Party slogan dealing with the control of the past", he said. "Repeat it, if you please".
WINSTON: "Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present, controls the past", repeated Winston Obediently.
O'BRIEN: "Who controls the present, controls the past", said O'Brien, nodding his head with slow approval. "It is your opinion that the past has real existence?".
Again the feeling of helplessness descended upon Winston. His eyes flitted towards the dial. He not only did not know whether "yes" or "no" was the answer that would save him from pain; he did not even know which answer he believed to be the true one.
O'Brien smiled faintly. "You are no metaphysician, Winston", he said. "Until this moment you had never considered what is meant by existence. I will put it more precisely. Does the past exist concretely, in space? Is there somewhere or other a place, a world of solid objects, where the past is still happening?".
"...
WINSTON: "No."
O'BRIEN: "Then where does the past exist, if at all?".
WINSTON: "In records. It is written down."
O'BRIEN: "In records. And-?
WINSTON: "In the mind. In human memories".
O'BRIEN: In memory. Very well, then. We the party control all records, and we control all memories. Then we control the past, do we not?
WINSTON: "but how can you stop people remembering things?" cried Winston, again momentarily forgetting the dial. "It is involuntary. It is outside oneself. How can you control memory? You have not controlled mine".
O'Brien's manner grew stern again. He laid his hand on the dial.
"On the contrary", he said. "You have not controlled it. That is what has brought you here. You are here because you have failed in humility, in self-discipline. You would not make the acct of submission which is the price of sanity. You preferred to be a lunatic, a minority of one. Only the disciplined mind can see reality, Winston. You believe that reality is something external, existing on his own right. You also believe that the nature of reality is self-evident. When you delude yourself into thinking that you see something, you assume that everyone else sees the same thing as you. But I tell you, Winston, that reality is not external. Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. Not in the individual mind, which can make mistakes, and in any case soon perishes; only in the mind of the Party, which is collective and immortal. Whatever the Party holds to be truth, is truth. It is impossible to see reality except by looking the eyes of the Party. That is the fact that you have got to relearn, Winston. It needs and act of self-destruction, an effort of the will. You must humble yourself before you can become sane:"
..."
I like very very much this and other parts of the book, very, very much. Read it and, also, "Animal farm", by the author. And we will comment.
--------------------
The girl whose photo I showed you in the Alps (the owner of the 4 conditions) stayed in Bratislava 2 months ago. She said it is nice...
... at least, what she could see during the 120 minutes she remained there.
--------------------------------
Let me know your academic and not academic plans for the next year.
(!) Scientists, philosophers and theorists has been on speculation about the deep reason of this behavioural pattern: some of them state different state of the physical body; others about a protection by a Superior Being, there are some of them who simply say... “I dont know”, quite modestly. My personal opinion: if you have got a virgin girl, why do you need to live? You’ve got all things, you know all and you have seen everything. Really, I think all I do in my live is Looking For The Eyes Of A Virgin Girl.
(2) With “Doublemind” is referred the ability, the capacity of holding two contradictories believings simultaneously. This, of course, is an incredible act of misunderstanding, ignorance or even madness if applied to a political enemy, but a superior degree of mental development if applied to one’s comrades. Understanding the concept of “doublemind” needs doublemind.
English to Spanish: Impossible... definitely General field: Art/Literary
Source text - English TRANSLATING IS IMPOSSIBLE - THE LOGICAL (FINAL) 4TH STEP IN A 2.5K-YEAR JOURNEY (EXISTING... KNOWING... COMMUNICATING... AND EVENTUALLY TRANSLATING) - THE HISTORY OF PHILOSOPHY IN 4 STEPS.
From Gorgias, a Greek philosopher (sophist) to Albert Sáez, a freelance translator
Nothing exists. ------------------- Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything existed, it could not be known-----------Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything did exist, and could be known, it could not be communicated.------Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything could be communicated, that act of communication couldn't ever BE TRANSLATED------- Albert Sáez, a freelance translator, XXI century.
Translation - Spanish TRANSLATING IS IMPOSSIBLE - THE LOGICAL (FINAL) 4TH STEP IN A 2.5K-YEAR JOURNEY (EXISTING... KNOWING... COMMUNICATING... AND EVENTUALLY TRANSLATING) - THE HISTORY OF PHILOSOPHY IN 4 STEPS.
From Gorgias, a Greek philosopher (sophist) to Albert Sáez, a freelance translator
Nothing exists. ------------------- Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything existed, it could not be known-----------Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything did exist, and could be known, it could not be communicated.------Gorgias, a Greek sophist, IV Century BC.
If anything could be communicated, that act of communication couldn't ever BE TRANSLATED------- Albert Sáez, a freelance translator, XXI century.
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Years of experience: 21. Registered at ProZ.com: Jan 2003.
Catalan to Spanish (University of Barcelona) English to Spanish (University of Barcelona) Spanish to English (University of Barcelona) Catalan to Spanish (ALBISA) English to Spanish (ALBISA)
English to Spanish (University of Barcelona) English to Spanish (Universidad de Las Palmas de Gran Canaria) English to Spanish (Universitat de Barcelona.) English to Spanish (Asociación Argentina de Traductores e Intérpretes)
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DejaVu, memoQ, MemSource Cloud, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Office Pro, Microsoft Word, Passolo, Powerpoint, SDLX, Trados Online Editor, Trados Studio
I am a Spanish lawyer, former teacher of English for adults and freelance translator since 2003. My writing skills are excellent and, as such, I have been awarded several literary prizes (see https://app.box.com/s/zc0oy00ugodjrmyaii7m9a0cenpvvznx for my translations into English of my works that won awards – originally written in Spanish and Catalan).
I have a bachelor’s degree in law and have partial university studies of English language and literature and philosophy (Universidad de Navarra [1994], UNED and Universitat de Barcelona, all Spanish universities).
I have experience in translating and proofreading important international documents (bills of Spanish regional governments, international claims before arbitral panels of the World Bank, technical documentation for important IT multinationals, reports for UN agencies, criminal proceedings of international public relevance, various types of specialised medical and technical documents – essays, forms, technical specifications, user instructions, educational documents, projects) and documents of literary content (TV scripts, subtitles, press releases, advertisements, etc.). I work with a team of assistants (doctors, chemists, insurance experts, etc.) when the subjects require it. I have appended a copy of my CV in English below. Upon request, I can provide you references, reports on my skills and samples of my jobs.
Best regards,
Albert Sáez Serrano
MAIN PAIR: ENGLISH into SPANISH OTHER PAIRS: from ENGLISH, SPANISH, CATALAN, FRENCH AND LATIN into SPANISH, CATALAN, LATIN and ENGLISH SWORN TRANSLATIONS: I expect to get my certificate from the Spanish MAE in the next exam (EN/SP) and Catalan regional government (CAT/SP). In the meantime, I can offer sworn translations in English, Spanish, Catalan, French, German and Latin at very competitive rates through colleagues. SPECIALISATION: LAW, FINANCE, TOURISM, MARKETING, LITERATURE, JOURNALISM AND ANY HUMANISTIC FIELD; CHEMISTRY, MEDICINE, IT; “LIGHT” TECHNICAL CURRENT AVAILABILITY: fully available WORK-RELATED EXPERIENCE: See English CV HARDWARE: Everything needed SOFTWARE: Trados SDL 2007 & Trados Studio 2017
Keywords: legal translation, lawyer, financial, international organizations, humanistic translation, bank of the world, United Nations, public organizations, legal advise on documents, juridical texts. See more.legal translation, lawyer, financial, international organizations, humanistic translation, bank of the world, United Nations, public organizations, legal advise on documents, juridical texts, style, international affairs, tecnoland, tecnoland-tt.eu, Latin, English, Spanish, Catalan, French, Portuguese, German, Russian, humanistic translations, journalism. See less.
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