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ПисАть, как и пИсать...

English translation: No idea? Logorrhea!

15:07 Oct 13, 2014
Russian to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Other
Russian term or phrase: ПисАть, как и пИсать...
... нужно только тогда, когда больше уже невмоготу. This, of course, is a famous aphorism by the incomparable M. M. Zhvanetsky and it means that you should only write when you absolutely cannot hold it back any longer - just as you would with taking a leak. Now, I'd like to tap the collective wisdom here on how to best render this in English without losing the somewhat risque flair of the original. My own efforts have not progressed beyond the tinkle-scribble line so far, and that doesn't seem to be particularly impressive. Of course, you can always give a note, if need be, but that pretty much equals to throwing up the white flag, don't you think?

Any ideas welcome, but please don't insult my intelligence by offering me verbatim translations. Thank you.
The Misha
Local time: 13:23
English translation:No idea? Logorrhea!
Explanation:
Spare parts in a sentence
come from
long-winded farts of repentance

don't run for paper when you got writing diarrhea, wait until it settles down

Cut the crap, if you are not ready to shit.

If you empty yourself into writing, be prepared to (have to) flush the system




--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 uren (2014-10-13 21:43:26 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

It is some kind of a morphological accident in Russian. No pun intended.
Whereas in English, if you put the two words in opposition like this, you start comparing between the two actions.
Then, writing becomes more like peeing: monotonous, protracted, boring..
The scatological imagery in English is more eruptive. "Writing diarrhea"calls up a fair amount of native sources on google. Good luck with it!

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 uren (2014-10-13 22:02:42 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Writing before your time is like pissing against the wind

Selected response from:

katerina turevich
Netherlands
Local time: 19:23
Grading comment
As I said before, to me Mikhail's "Writing is like taking a piss" seems to be the clear choice here, but since he, in his overarching modesty, refused to post it as a separate answer, I am giving the points to Katherine for the sheer abundance of great creative soundbites she has offered. Thank you, Mikhail and Katherine.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4 +5write only when you cannot hold it (any longer)
LilianNekipelov
3take your pen as you take a leak
Julia Stepanchuk
3*
Maxim Olshin
3No idea? Logorrhea!
katerina turevich


Discussion entries: 8





  

Answers


47 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
take your pen as you take a leak


Explanation:
Off the top of my head - somebody will probably have a better idea :)

Julia Stepanchuk
Russian Federation
Local time: 22:23
Native speaker of: Russian
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thanks. I am not so sure though if "take the pen" immediately comes across as a synonym for write. At the very least, one would probably have to say "take up" rather than take, and that kind of kills the parallelism with "take a leak". Either way, let's wait and see what the natives have to say about it. Take (up) the pen as you would a leak? Does it work?

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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +5
write only when you cannot hold it (any longer)


Explanation:
My option.

LilianNekipelov
United States
Local time: 13:23
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish, Native in PolishPolish
PRO pts in category: 33
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you, Lilian, but did you read the question in its entirety? Or are you indeed trying to assault my intelligence?


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Mikhail Kropotov: Writing is like taking a piss. You should only do it when you cannot hold it in any longer.
4 hrs
agree  DTSM
4 hrs
agree  danya: this is a good one)
14 hrs
agree  Susan Welsh: with Mikhail
23 hrs
agree  Aleksandra Kleschina: Agree, but "hold it in", not just "hold it".
1 day 8 hrs
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
*


Explanation:
Never releave yourself of any bodily waste before you absolutely need to (and that includes your stories).

Can't find anything more fitting than "stories" here, though. I believe something broader in meaning might be better.

Maxim Olshin
Ukraine
Local time: 20:23
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian, Native in UkrainianUkrainian
PRO pts in category: 15
Notes to answerer
Asker: Um, doesn't it imply that there's some sort of a benefit to holding on to your "bodily waste" for as long as you can? And that the "stories" are nothing but waste? I am sure plenty of writing folks would take exception to this, and in any case I am afraid this is not quite what the original says. Thanks anyway.

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3 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
No idea? Logorrhea!


Explanation:
Spare parts in a sentence
come from
long-winded farts of repentance

don't run for paper when you got writing diarrhea, wait until it settles down

Cut the crap, if you are not ready to shit.

If you empty yourself into writing, be prepared to (have to) flush the system




--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 uren (2014-10-13 21:43:26 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

It is some kind of a morphological accident in Russian. No pun intended.
Whereas in English, if you put the two words in opposition like this, you start comparing between the two actions.
Then, writing becomes more like peeing: monotonous, protracted, boring..
The scatological imagery in English is more eruptive. "Writing diarrhea"calls up a fair amount of native sources on google. Good luck with it!

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 uren (2014-10-13 22:02:42 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Writing before your time is like pissing against the wind



katerina turevich
Netherlands
Local time: 19:23
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
As I said before, to me Mikhail's "Writing is like taking a piss" seems to be the clear choice here, but since he, in his overarching modesty, refused to post it as a separate answer, I am giving the points to Katherine for the sheer abundance of great creative soundbites she has offered. Thank you, Mikhail and Katherine.
Notes to answerer
Asker: Katerina, I love some of those, especially the one about writing diarrhea, but they are very much things in itself rather than translations of the above witticism, don't you think?

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