Off topic: How to Write Real Good.
Thread poster: Desi_vdb

Desi_vdb
United Kingdom
Local time: 20:54
Dutch to English
+ ...
Nov 17, 2004

Very funny. Found it on:

http://www.emule.com/2poetry/phorum/read.php?f=4&i=39146&t=39146
(click on flat view to see all the posts)

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be avoided.
20. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
21. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
22. And who needs rhetorical questions?


 

Yolande Haneder (X)  Identity Verified
Local time: 21:54
German to French
+ ...
...and always write in your mother tongue Nov 17, 2004

That is all what I have to say.

Yolande


 

Marion Schimmelpfennig  Identity Verified
Local time: 21:54
Member (2003)
English to German
another rule Nov 17, 2004

23. And never begin a sentence with "and".

 

Harry Bornemann  Identity Verified
Mexico
English to German
+ ...
another rule Nov 17, 2004

24. Believe me, you can't trust any advisers!

 


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