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Glossary entry

English term or phrase:

structure

English answer:

several errors

    The asker opted for community grading. The question was closed on 2013-01-12 15:54:08 based on peer agreement (or, if there were too few peer comments, asker preference.)
Jan 9, 2013 10:46
11 yrs ago
English term

structure

English Other Government / Politics investment portfolio
Hey friends,

Can you please check this lengthy sentence, does the structure sound ok to you? If it does, can you perhps rephrase it for me?

"With Iraqi/Iranian war supplies lines over-stretched north fighting the Kurds, the Sunni jihadis will set the Iranian-supplied IEDs their Hezbollah teachers taught them to set against the precious American troops in Iraq. But now, the al Qaeda jihadis will be set their IEDs against their true Shiite Persian enemy."

The rest of the paragraph says:

"This time, the Sunnis of Iraq will welcome the jihadis as liberators from the Obama-installed sectarian Shiite despot. Funded by gulf interests, the Sunnis of western Iraq will turn western Iraq into a Shiite graveyard."

Your help on this is much appreciated.
Responses
4 +4 several errors

Discussion

dkfmmuc Jan 9, 2013:
Thank you, B D Finch, for your discussion entry No further comment in order to respect the site rules.

All the best for you, B D Finch!
B D Finch Jan 9, 2013:
KudoZ rules As this is unfortunately that this is getting catty, I shall cite the relevant KudoZ rules.
Rule 2.2. "Texts posted for translation via KudoZ should be limited to approximately ten (10) words."

Rule 2.3 "One term is allowed per question."

Rule 2.7 "Glossary entries should be made upon the close of the question." It is difficult to see how this question could provide a glossary entry.
Noha Kamal, PhD. (asker) Jan 9, 2013:
Really kind of you dkfmmuc Have a great afternoon :))
dkfmmuc Jan 9, 2013:
Dear Noha! I fully understand the time pressure/urgent delivery times some customers set. So you can be sure that the opinion of B D Finch is NOT representing the opinion of all of your colleagues. Would be fine if B D Finch would comply with the KuDoz rules, especially
"3.5 A peer comment must be based on linguistic evaluations of the answer."
And similar regulations within proz.com ensuring a friendly atmosphere.
Noha Kamal, PhD. (asker) Jan 9, 2013:
Your comment was not justified because you made no mention of Kudoz rules. You simply suggested I hire a proofreader, which made no sense as I am myself hired to work on this! How logic can that be!! This can just drag on and on or it can end if someone simply apologies for hurling accusations at others!
B D Finch Jan 9, 2013:
No assumptions You are asking people to rephrase a long sentence for you. KudoZ is intended for help on specific terms. I think my comment was justified.
Noha Kamal, PhD. (asker) Jan 9, 2013:
Please do not throw assumptions This is a text I am working on. I am translating it into Arabic. And I thought I'd check with you before I got back to the client !!! It is super easy to accuse people right!
B D Finch Jan 9, 2013:
Not appropriate ... ... to use KudoZ instead of paying a proofreader. No, it does not read well. There are errors of structure and vocabulary.

Responses

+4
25 mins
Selected

several errors

this is non-idiomatic English that needs to be fully proofed by a native speaker. Corrected it . would drop "precious because can't think what it means here

"With Iraqi and Iranian war-supplY lines over-stretched IN THE North fighting the Kurds,

the Sunni Jihadis will DEPLOY the Iranian-supplied IEDs THEY WERE TRAINED IN BY THE Hezbollah against the <<<< precious <<<< American troops in Iraq.

But for now, the al Qaeda Jihadis will be DEPLOYING their IEDs against THEIR TRUE ENEMY, the Iranian Shiites."

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Note added at 26 mins (2013-01-09 11:13:07 GMT)
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i I agree with BDF's comment. You need to pay a proofreader

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Note added at 29 mins (2013-01-09 11:16:21 GMT)
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or for "true enemy"

"age-old enemy"

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Note added at 43 mins (2013-01-09 11:30:17 GMT)
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I only ever translate INTO my native language (English). I would certainly pay for a native editor/proofreader if I were translating OUT of English.

Lots of non-natives write in English these days and don't even seem to realise just how bad their language is:-) (to a native's eyes anyway!)

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Note added at 50 mins (2013-01-09 11:36:48 GMT)
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I really can't believe a native speaker would write so badly ( and be published)

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Note added at 51 mins (2013-01-09 11:37:26 GMT)
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Good luck!

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Note added at 3 hrs (2013-01-09 13:58:24 GMT)
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you may need help with other phrases as well but you should really post them as separate terms so as to follow the Kudoz guidelines (whilst giving the full sentence as context of course),

e.g "gulf interests" should really be phrased

"interests in the Gulf"
Note from asker:
I totally agree. The sentence is a mess. The weirdest thing of all is that it is written by a professional!! Or so I assumed ! http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Articles/Article.aspx/12690
Gallagy, thanks for your help, but do you generally hire a proofreader to improve a text you've received from a client to translate?!!
Well, like I said the author is native, which makes things all the more confusing for me!
Peer comment(s):
agree Charles Davis : Nicely done. This is bizarre; the article is signed and the author has an Anglo name, but really! The page has an ad that caught my eye: JONAH: Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality. What might they be, I wonder?
34 mins
Yes, it seems like pure propaganda and so badly written. Bizarre it certainly is. I wouldn't like to have the job of translating this! Wierd way of writing
agree B D Finch : This is, indeed pure propaganda and, given its poisonous nature may well have rotted the writer's brain. The author claims to be a US-based attorney and to have studied at US universities; but, he might have been brought up in Israel.
2 hrs
Not sure how true his claims are as his standard of English is so poor, even simple things like capital letters omitted...
agree dkfmmuc : Great help for your colleague, a cordially agree and thanks for that! (Although I dislike the type of content and would also classify it as glorification of terrorism).
2 hrs
Thanks:-)
agree Charlesp
6 hrs
Thanks:-)
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Selected automatically based on peer agreement."
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