Jan 28, 2003 16:06
21 yrs ago
English term
Portugal
Works in: English to Swedish, Swedish to English, English to Portuguese, and 3 more.
suggestions?
Non-PRO
English
Other
lifestyle/religion-YOGA
the below is taken from a soon to be yogabook, my first instinct is to find another word for "opening" but maybe the entire sentence needs to be replaced , any kind of advice greatly appreciated!
" without opening of those channels humans will not be able to transcend their worldly condition and won´t develop abilities to understand ultimate reality "
" without opening of those channels humans will not be able to transcend their worldly condition and won´t develop abilities to understand ultimate reality "
Responses
| 5 +1 | No change is necessary. |
Drak
|
| 5 +6 | Without opening these channels, . . . |
Fuad Yahya
|
| 4 +3 | A bit rephrazed |
Steffen Pollex (X)
|
| 4 +2 | It probably needs to be opening |
Armorel Young
|
| 4 +1 | opening chakras? |
William Clough (X)
|
| 4 | almost correct |
edlih_be
|
Responses
+1
26 mins
Selected
No change is necessary.
According to the world of yoga, there are certain channels, energy channels, if you will, in our bodies that have to be opened in order to attain certain progress in the yoga practice, such as broadening of the consciousness, deepening of the consciousness, or opening of the heart chakra. These channels do not necessary correspond with any of the parts of the (human body) recognized by the "Western" scienctists. Chakras, for instance, are very potent energy centers which need to be opened for attaining a mind-body balance.
I have been practicing yoga and meditation for 15 years and teaching the same disciplines for seven to eight years and the above sentence makes perfect sense to me. No need for any changes.
Drak
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Note added at 2003-01-28 16:37:56 (GMT)
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In the yoga tradition, by correct practice of asanas (yoga postures) the above mentioned channels are opened, and in this way humans become able to attain \"oneness with the Universe\", etc...
I could go on and on on this subject, but this is enough...
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Note added at 2003-01-28 16:54:55 (GMT)
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In response to Williams suggestion to change \"channels\" to \"chakras\", I disagree, only because there are other channels, which are not necessarily chakras. Take kundalini, for instance. Kundalini is an energy that travels vertically along the spine, and in order for this energy to flow properly through the body, certain other channels (not the chakras) need to be opened.
No change in the text is necessary.
I have been practicing yoga and meditation for 15 years and teaching the same disciplines for seven to eight years and the above sentence makes perfect sense to me. No need for any changes.
Drak
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Note added at 2003-01-28 16:37:56 (GMT)
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In the yoga tradition, by correct practice of asanas (yoga postures) the above mentioned channels are opened, and in this way humans become able to attain \"oneness with the Universe\", etc...
I could go on and on on this subject, but this is enough...
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2003-01-28 16:54:55 (GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
In response to Williams suggestion to change \"channels\" to \"chakras\", I disagree, only because there are other channels, which are not necessarily chakras. Take kundalini, for instance. Kundalini is an energy that travels vertically along the spine, and in order for this energy to flow properly through the body, certain other channels (not the chakras) need to be opened.
No change in the text is necessary.
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Arthur Borges
: YES.
7 mins
|
| agree |
Refugio
: Structurally, Fuad's changes are recommended, but this is the best explanation of why the word opening needs to remain. It is the counterpart of the concept of energy channels becoming blocked. I hope Lin will respect the conceptual integrity of the text.
39 mins
|
|
Agreed. I was not paying attention to the structure. In the US, one gets used to awkward usage of the English language easily and stops paying close attention to that aspect of the text...
|
|
| disagree |
Steffen Pollex (X)
: Definitely, there is a need of some changes. Maybe, not in terms of yoga, but in terms of English, for sure. It is just hair-rising grammar and style in places.
2 hrs
|
|
Agreed.
|
|
| agree |
Alexandra Tussing
13 hrs
|
| disagree |
john mason
: A writer cannot expect that the reader knows enough about his/her subject to overlook grammar that is so poor that it obscures meaning
17 hrs
|
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "A BIG thank you to all!It is not easy to choose only one answer, but since I was mostly concerned about the word "opening" in this context, I chose Drak´s suggestion.
Fuad, I will follow your advice as well, too bad I couldn´t split the four points between you guys;)"
+6
3 mins
Without opening these channels, . . .
Or "Unless these channels are opened, . . ."
That is probably the only change I would make, without knowing more about the context.
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Note added at 2003-01-28 16:14:25 (GMT)
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I would start the sentence with a capital letter.
I would delete \"of\" before \"opening.\"
I would replace \"those\" with \"these.\"
I would make sure to place a comma right before the main clause.
But the word \"opening\" is fine. It works well with \"channels.\"
That is probably the only change I would make, without knowing more about the context.
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Note added at 2003-01-28 16:14:25 (GMT)
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I would start the sentence with a capital letter.
I would delete \"of\" before \"opening.\"
I would replace \"those\" with \"these.\"
I would make sure to place a comma right before the main clause.
But the word \"opening\" is fine. It works well with \"channels.\"
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
jerrie
0 min
|
| agree |
Steffen Pollex (X)
: "These" is better than "those".
3 mins
|
| agree |
Peter Coles
7 mins
|
| agree |
Alexandra Tussing
13 hrs
|
| agree |
Tanja Abramovic (X)
17 hrs
|
| agree |
Dolly Xu
1 day 21 hrs
|
+3
4 mins
A bit rephrazed
"without opening (NO "OF") those channels humans ARE UNABLE to transcend their worldly condition and TO develop THEIR ABILITY to understand ultimate reality."
I zhhink Iit could have been helpful to have a look at the previous text.
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Note added at 2003-01-28 16:12:17 (GMT)
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\"Think\", of course.
I zhhink Iit could have been helpful to have a look at the previous text.
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Note added at 2003-01-28 16:12:17 (GMT)
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\"Think\", of course.
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
GingerR
20 mins
|
| agree |
Nora Bellettieri
: I think this is the best re-phrasing
2 hrs
|
| agree |
Alexandra Tussing
13 hrs
|
+2
5 mins
It probably needs to be opening
There's an awful lot of talk in eastern therapies about things like opening channels so that energy can flow - you may not like it but I suspect it is fundamental to the outlook of the person who has written the book.
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Peter Coles
: The phrasing is a bit off, but the word "opening" is probably needed.
8 mins
|
| agree |
Steffen Pollex (X)
: You name it: The phrasing is (a bit???!!) off...
2 hrs
|
+1
12 mins
opening chakras?
Without more of the context, I can't be sure about the appropriateness of this, but if I remember correctly, the "channels" that are utilized in yoga for transcendence are called "chakras". The practice of yoga is supposed to open these conduits for energy, and once all are opened, the person is supposed to connect with universal energy (the Atman? Brahman?) In most of the diagrams I've seen, the chakras are located vertically along the center of the body, with the highest being in the head.
There's nothing wrong with using "opening channels" in this context. In some ways, it keeps the concepts in terms that are understandable to a wider audience.
Hope this helps!
There's nothing wrong with using "opening channels" in this context. In some ways, it keeps the concepts in terms that are understandable to a wider audience.
Hope this helps!
39 mins
almost correct
"without the opening of those (these) channels, humans will not be able to transcend their worldly condition and will not develop abilities to understand ultimate reality"
just added 'the' before opening and changed 'won't' to 'will not'. i think this reads better and keeps pretty much the structure.
just added 'the' before opening and changed 'won't' to 'will not'. i think this reads better and keeps pretty much the structure.
Discussion